Read an Excerpt
CHAPTER 1
Regarding the Internal
Shift Your Perspective: On Adjusting
Whether at social or business events, I find that more and more people are taking stock of where they are now and the changes that need to be made for them to move forward in the most fulfilling way. Those who have awareness of the path they need to take often find it difficult to take the steps necessary to embrace fully the lives they envision for themselves. Those who are on the path of their true callings find it necessary to make constant changes and modify their approach to manifesting the lives they want.
The key to making changes of any kind is the willingness to adjust your thinking and your actions in accordance with what you want. Simply asking for it, praying for it, or envisioning it are not enough. You must take definitive action toward the vision. Remove any time-wasting activities that do not take you toward your ultimate destination. Reject relationships or circumstances that are unhealthy for you and that create energy drains.
No matter where you are on the path, maintain a dynamic mindset, for as you step from one level to another, pass through one cycle to another, adjustments need to be made. With each new experience, you gain understanding. This leads to an adjustment in the way you think about yourself and your future and creates new opportunities to fulfill your dreams. It may spark an idea you never could have had before or may allow you to see a path that was previously unavailable to you.
With each shift, with each new experience, your view of the world may change only slightly or may change in a profound way. In all cases, you are never the same as you were before, and so adjusting to the new way of thinking and being requires reconsidering your goals and modifying the actions you take. In this way, you align yourself with yourself and redirect your efforts to bring forth the new potential.
Stay cognizant of how experiences, relationships, and knowledge assist you in growing and allow the changes necessary to accommodate your new form. Use journaling, divination tools, and meditation to tap into the deeper meanings of your life. Seek out your reflection in those around you and gaze objectively at the results your energy creates in your life. See how your outer world begins to take the shape of your transition — you may change your home's decor, wear different clothing than you usually do, or purge items that no longer feel part of your heightened sense of self.
It is a marvelous thing when you see yourself growing and changing and taking the necessary steps to support that development, embracing that which is your true self, your true calling, and going forth in a centered, grounded manner that fosters additional awareness and understanding.
Shift Your Perspective: On Anger
Think back to all the times you have been angry. Anger can result from a variety of reasons and takes on many forms. The energy of anger is directed at the perceived source — whether it is anger with the self, with someone else, or at a situation. It may be mixed with hate, disappointment, hurt, or aggravation. It may be justified ... or not.
Some people feel that anger is a negative emotion to be avoided at all costs. Anger creates discordant energy that takes you off center. Loss of control in a fit of anger can prompt actions you may deeply regret later; whether it is something said or something done, the effects can be long lasting.
Anger as a primary view of the world, as in anger at others' behavior or at one's own circumstances, wears the person down and repels people from wanting to be around him or her. This type of person feels justified in his or her anger and holds on to it.
Blowing up out of anger can be exhausting and even dangerous, when it takes a violent form. Also, staying angry at a situation and talking about it over and over fuels the fire, intensifies the propensity to take regretful action, and keeps the negativity in place.
Sometimes, anger comes forward toward things that are out of a personal scope of control, such as death, war, the government, or the economy. The anger is attached to feeling helpless or powerless to change the situation. When that occurs, allow acceptance to replace anger and focus on uplifting aspects of life and ways to bring that higher vibration into the world.
Anger is more likely to appear when a person is fatigued, stressed, or upset. These lower the tolerance threshold and increase the likelihood that the response to certain triggers, like teasing, criticism, failure, etc., will result in lashing out in anger. To increase your tolerance, make sure you dump negativity and ground yourself on a regular basis. [See Appendix or The True Nature of Energy: Transforming Anxiety into Tranquility by Diane Wing, M.A., on page 24.]
While these are valid reasons to look upon anger with disdain and to strive for self-control, there is a powerful use for anger. Anger, used to its best purpose, can be a catalyst for change. Any strong reaction is an indicator of a deep-seated belief or problem, and the forceful nature of anger is potent when channeled to make important changes.
Anger can come as the result of a social or personal injustice. This is a higher vibrational form of anger that can lead to the creation of social movements and personal actions that create positive change.
Anger that stems from feeling disrespected, undervalued, criticized, or unappreciated points to the need for personal change, including in the way the self is viewed or in the types of relationships engaged in.
Each person has a unique set of circumstances and triggers regarding anger. Anger can hold within it the seeds of change for the highest good. Be aware of how anger shows up, and tap into this powerful source of transformation.
Shift Your Perspective: On Anxiety
We all have bouts of anxiety. It can stem from internal or external sources. The potential for anxiety to arise is ever present. Some experience anxiety more frequently than others, self-perpetuating this state of being with negative self-talk and "what if" scenarios mentally played over and over. Some use it as a motivator to prepare for an important meeting or presentation.
Depending on the intensity of the anxiety, it can be debilitating or motivating. Anxiety can be self-managed in most cases, without the assistance of medication. With mindfulness toward your personal anxiety patterns, it is possible to become an anxiety expert able to control the level and intensity of the anxiety, as well as the duration.
Start by reviewing the list of causes below, and see which ones you find are most frequent in your anxiety repertoire.
Causes and cures of anxiety include:
1. Cause: Staying in limbo keeps the tension high.
Cure: Make a decision! Even if you take another direction later, the act of making a choice relieves 80 percent of the stress.
2. Cause: Taking on the problems of others/trying to control others.
Cure: Focus on what you need to do to take care of your own life and let others live their lives and make choices for themselves ... even if you do not agree with them.
3. Cause: Trying to control circumstances that are out of your scope of influence.
Cure: Recognize the aspects of the situation that you have direct control over and where you can make an impact. In every case, you have control over yourself, what you believe, the actions you take, and your emotional response to the situation.
4. Cause: Negative self-talk, such as "I'm not good enough," "Nothing ever works out for me," or "I have a dark cloud following me around."
Cure: Be aware when the negative self-talk starts and stop it as soon as you can. Then challenge the thought with an alternative statement. Rather than "I'm not good enough," think of something you have done recently where you have succeeded — even a small accomplishment such as reorganizing your closet (which is no small task in some cases), and give yourself kudos for that.
5. Cause: Using global generalizations. Words like "all," "everything," "everyone," "nothing," "never," and "always" create a perspective that lumps together experiences rather than looking at them for their individual attributes.
Cure: Take each situation separately and identify the strengths and challenges it presents.
6. Cause: Looking at the huge goal before you to the point of feeling overwhelmed and incapacitated.
Cure: Cut the goal into manageable pieces and accomplish the ultimate goal one step at a time.
7. Cause: Having a doom and gloom perspective; believing the world is against you and that no amount of effort can change that. If you hear yourself complaining and being a naysayer to others, it not only prompts but exacerbates anxiety.
Cure: Find the silver lining; look for the glimmer of hope in an otherwise dark situation, seek to discover the lesson held within the difficult circumstance, and encourage others to achieve their goals.
8. Cause: Resistance to change.
Cure: Be resilient in the face of change. Transitions and transformations are inevitable. Rather than fighting against the shift, see what benefit is held within it. Change can be a good thing.
9. Cause: Stagnation. This occurs when a shift or change is desired, but no action toward creating that change is taken.
Cure: Do something you have never done before. Go to a new restaurant, visit an art museum, or attend a craft fair; get inspired to move beyond your comfort zone.
10. Cause: Clutter and disorganization. Too much stuff stifles the flow of energy through a space and causes mental confusion and agitation. Disorganization creates procrastination, which leads to anxiety.
Cure: Purge your possessions. Clear the clutter. Physically clean your home/office/sacred space. You will feel lighter, as will the energy in the space, and you will be more focused and motivated.
11. Cause: Jealousy. This can include fear of abandonment or being left behind, a sense of not being good enough, and coveting others' experiences, accomplishments, and possessions.
Cure: Appreciate what you have, identify your unique gifts, or identify what is lacking and take steps to attain it.
12. Cause: Fear, doubt, and worry stemming from personal performance, meeting the expectations of others, health concerns for yourself or others, and uncertainty.
Cure: Go outside and dump the fear, doubt, and worry into the ground. Let the earth take it and transform it. Now go ten feet from that spot and pull in fresh earth energy. Let it fill your body with brightness where you released the darkness. The issues may still be present, but being afraid of, doubtful toward, or worried about them will not help them go away or create a productive mindset. Dumping the heavy vibrations will give you increased energy with which to cope with whatever is going on.
The bottom line is that anxiety is inevitable. Your approach to managing it is critical to your mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual health. In most cases, you have the power to handle it and move on rather than maintaining the stress. For extreme cases such as phobias, post-traumatic stress disorder, or obsessive compulsive disorder, skilled professionals can help.
Becoming an expert in handling anxiety gives you more energy, greater resilience, and more happiness in your life.
Shift Your Perspective: On Change
Change can be stressful, especially big changes. When you feel like it is time to start getting on track and making changes in your life, it can feel daunting. Questions arise from your deepest fears. Will things feel too different? Am I doing the right thing? Do I have the strength and the ability to move forward with the necessary changes?
Cut yourself a break and realize that sweeping changes are not necessary in order to have a transformational experience. Even a minor change can create beneficial shifts that lead to even more positive results. For example, every time you catch yourself complaining about something, know that you are lowering your vibration and inhibiting your potential.
Replace the complaints with a resolution that addresses the problem. In this way, you will solve or eliminate the issue and your vibrational level will increase along with your self-confidence. You have control over the decisions you make, and making the decision to focus on the positive aspects of your life and adopting an attitude of gratitude will change your experience both internally and externally. The world looks much different when approached with optimism and positivity.
Exercise 1-4: Choose one small thing that you want to change each month. As you succeed at each change, future changes will be easier to make. The size of the changes may increase, and you will be on the path to creating your destiny rather than being a victim.
Change must be initiated in order to see a difference in your life. I speak to countless folks who say they want their lives to be different, pause, and then say "but" and follow it with all the reasons why things will never change. And they are correct. They never will change as long as they believe it is not possible or that the obstacles before them are insurmountable.
The truth is that they have already decided to give up. That one decision is what needs to change. Deciding that the way things are right now is unacceptable is the first step in the process. Then it is time to envision your life the way you would like it to be. Forget the limitation and self-imposed restrictions. What do you want your life to look like? Do you want freedom? Do you want to work with a certain type of person or alone? Do you want to travel or stay home in your ideal environment?
Whatever it is, sit down and really take a look at your life, what you like and what you do not like about it, and then prioritize the changes you would like to make one at a time. Taking that first step is the most important, and the rest becomes easier after that.
So many folks struggle with change. They feel off-center, agitated, confused, and doubtful. The path they thought they were steadfastly traveling is shifting beneath their feet. Nothing feels the same, and there is uncertainty as to what to do.
You are in a time of major change; not only in the world, but also within yourself. You are being called to come fully into yourself, to do the work you were meant to do, and to get rid of the patterns that have kept you stuck. Those who choose to resist this time of shifting will experience the most anxiety. The harder one fights to maintain the current state of being, the denser the energies become, the rougher the road, and the deeper the stagnation.
Those who decide to be open to where their inner guidance and divine will takes them will experience discomfort, yet they will reach an unexpected new height. Life will take unanticipated turns, and this means changes in relationships, circumstances, and most of all, changes within the self. Allow these shifts to occur and revel in the release and joy to follow, while embracing the idea that everything has a natural cycle.
Natural cycles dictate the experiences you have. The ebb and flow of life brings change, some intense and some mild, all holding within it lessons and the opportunity for an internal shift. The more earth-shattering the change, the greater the moral it holds and the more significant the opportunity for growth.
I did this exercise for myself and discovered that endings are the events that trigger an internal shift, a reassessment of life, and a significant learning experience. Graduations, the endings of relationships, and the deaths of loved ones bring about a contemplative time that contributes to my personal evolution. Each ending requires taking a different approach or way of thinking or behaving based on the lessons and life-altering changes that result from the experience. Nothing could ever be the same again.
The natural order of things creates cycles — seasons, moon phases, highs and lows in life experience and relationships — and calls you to flow with these rhythms in order to deepen your experience and your level of understanding. The energies of life, death, and rebirth are held within each day, month, and year. Each new day is the birth, noon brings the peak of the day's energy, and the sunset transitions us into night, holding the promise of another dawn.
The Wheel of Fortune card in tarot is symbolic of this inevitable rise and fall of energies and speaks to the need for adjusting both internally and externally to the new situation. It represents the expansion made possible through change and right action. Taking action is a necessary step in the process of change to avoid potential resistance. Pining for the way things used to be creates a standstill that could turn into stagnation.
(Continues…)
Excerpted from "The Happiness Perspective"
by .
Copyright © 2016 Diane Wing, M.A..
Excerpted by permission of Loving Healing Press, Inc..
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