Table of Contents
Part 1 Scarborough, Yorkshire, England
1 We're hard to spot, aren't we? 3
2 There's an art to eating happily alone 15
3 Why aren't you in bed? 26
4 I'm the right side of 80, she says - 81 36
Part 2 St Ives, Cornwall, England
5 Any student discount? 47
6 Well, pardon me, Mrs Robinson 63
7 Older people should be exploited 75
8 Although owls appear zen and wise, they're actually thick as sh*t 86
Part 3 Llandudno, Wales
9 Just eat your bread roll and don't touch me 97
10 Ask your mother while you can 112
11 Alexa, find Facebook, says Nan 129
12 It sounds to me like you could do with some grief 140
Part 4 Killarney, Ireland
13 I'm not used to the likes of you. On ye get 157
14 It's Judy bloody Garland 168
15 You can't take a picture of them. They're not us 178
16 These days, even babies don't know they're born 190
Part 5 Lake Como, Italy
17 Life's not about living to 96. It's about living to 84 203
18 They're talking of switching rooms because their neighbours were at it half the night 210
19 Now there's no whistling because he never comes home 217
20 They took him to hospital in a gondola 227
21 If you want to know the secret to a long happy marriage, it's 1) stay alive and 2) have separate bedtimes 237
22 And then some paramedics arrive 247
Part 6 Pitlochry, Scotland
23 She says that thanking God gets easier and harder every day 257
24 She grew beetroot and potatoes all day and hi return she wasn't shot 266
25 I can't just sit here and wait for the rain to stop 280
26 There was that lark in the end 292
Acknowledgements 307
Permissions 310
About the author 311
