The Ex-Girlfriend of My Ex-Girlfriend Is My Girlfriend: Advice on Queer Dating, Love, and Friendship

by Maddy Court, Kelsey Wroten (Illustrator)

Overview

This illustrated book of advice on love, dating, and friendship—written by and for queer women and people of marginalized genders—is the new go-to queer relationship handbook.

Fix yourself a cup of non-caffeinated herbal tea and prepare to laugh, cry, reminisce, and feel your feelings as you read through these quintessentially queer dating dilemmas.

In The Ex-Girlfriend of My Ex-Girlfriend Is My Girlfriend, advice columnist Maddy Court (a.k.a. Xena Worrier Princess) answers anonymous queries from lesbian, bisexual, and queer women and people of marginalized genders.

Illustrated by comics artist Kelsey Wroten and based on Court's viral zine of the same name, this book features never-before-published letters and responses about first loves, heartbreak, coming out, and queer friendship—all answered with the warmth and honesty of the gay big sister you wish you had.

• BY QUEERS, FOR QUEERS: This book was written by and for queer women and people of marginalized genders. The questions reflect real experiences that aren't often represented in the media, and the answers offer an important reminder that loving ourselves takes patience, effort, and the support of our friends and communities.
• EXCITING DEBUT AUTHOR: In 2018, Maddy Court made the leap from creating niche lesbian memes on Instagram to writing and distributing a series of zines. Never preachy or dismissive, Court offers advice that is sympathetic and straightforward—it's equal parts refreshing vulnerability and remarkable wisdom.
• GORGEOUS ILLUSTRATION: Kelsey Wroten's art brings the letters to life, immersing the reader in all the joys and disappointments of the contributors who wrote in from all over the world. In addition to the traditional illustrations, each chapter features a paneled mini-comic that speaks to the different themes.
• AMAZING GUEST EXPERTS: Because one queer cannot possible hold all the answers, The Ex-Girlfriend of My Ex-Girlfriend Is My Girlfriend also includes advice from an incredible roster of guest experts. Author and comedian Samantha Irby; musicians JD Samson and Ellen Kempner; and writers and activists Tyler Ford, Kalyn Heffernan, Lola Pellegrino, and Mey Rude all tackle questions on long-distance breakups, jealousy, love triangles, making friends, and more.

Perfect for:

• Lesbian, bisexual, and queer women and people of marginalized genders with questions about dating, friendship, and life
• Fans of the Ex-Girlfriend zine series and followers of @Xenaworrierprincess
• Fans of Kelsey Wroten's graphic novels and art

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9781797202228
Publisher:	Chronicle Books
Publication date:	05/18/2021
Sold by:	Barnes & Noble
Format:	eBook
Sales rank:	606,174
File size:	6 MB

About the Author

Maddy Court is a writer and gardener from Appleton, Wisconsin. She has a pit bull named Louis and a closet full of warm weather denim. This is her first book.
Kelsey Wroten is an illustrator and comics artist living in Brooklyn, New York. In her downtime, she enjoys pop-punk, romance novels, and hanging out with her pet ball python, Jules. She is the author of the graphic novel Cannonball.

Table of Contents

Introduction 8

Chapter 1 Firsts & Thirsts 12

Crushes & First Dates

Chapter 2 The Webs We Weave 36

Relationships & Dating

Chapter 3 The Universe Needs to Apologize 60

Heartbreak

Chapter 4 Support Systems 82

Friendship & Queer Community

Chapter 5 Letting Yourself Be Known 110

Coming Out & Families of Origin

Chapter 6 There Are No Shortcuts 128

Tough Conversations

Guest Expert Bios 158

Resources 164

Acknowledgments 166

Editorial Reviews

04/05/2021

Court’s empathetic and practical lesbian-focused queer relationship guide, illustrated by indie comics darling Wroten (Cannonball) began life as a series of self-published zines. This expanded package includes wide-ranging questions on crushes, first dates, long-distance relationships, open relationships, sexual compatibility, jealousy, breakups, friendship, community, coming out, dealing with conflict, and other challenging situations. For example: when to disclose a chronic condition on a date? Court responds, “You’re worried that your endometriosis will scare away potential partners, but what’s the point of being queer if you’re still stuck with the same rigid, unimaginative blueprints for what sex looks like?” Court invites in guest contributors who handle specialized concerns, such as those touching on disability, as well as trans and nonbinary identities. Wroten’s wonderfully whimsical illustrations enliven each scenario with a loose, energetic line and limited color palette that lends the page a Risograph print style. It’s always easier to give advice than to take it, but heartsick or confused daters may find exactly the support they need in this compassionate volume. Agent: Edward Maxwell, SJGA. (May)

Publishers Weekly

"While many of these questions come from people in their twenties, the valuable advice and relatable anecdotes will have YA crossover appeal. LGBTQ+ people of all ages will find stories that resonate deeply, and will appreciate Court’s candor and humor throughout.—Library Journal

"Court’s empathetic and practical lesbian-focused queer relationship guide, illustrated by indie comics darling Wroten began life as a series of self-published zines. This expanded package includes wide-ranging questions on crushes, first dates, long-distance relationships, open relationships, sexual compatibility, jealousy, breakups, friendship, community, coming out, dealing with conflict, and other challenging situations... It’s always easier to give advice than to take it, but heartsick or confused daters may find exactly the support they need in this compassionate volume." - Publishers Weekly

"Court makes clear that finding queer community and consuming queer media are vitally important, because of how crucial it is to see yourself represented. By its very existence, The Ex-Girlfriend of My Ex-Girlfriend Is My Girlfriend accomplishes this, too, as it assures us that our problems are not so uncommon and we’re all less alone than we think."—Bookpage

From the Publisher

06/01/2021

Court, who is known online as Xena Worrier Princess, has built a wonderful book out of her popular zine. This is more than a colorful advice column; it's a celebration of queer life and an affirmation of the beautiful nuances of relationships. Wroten's charming, highlighter-bright illustrations distill the stories' essences into funny mini comics; their inclusion helps keep the book's tone light even when dealing with heartbreak and depression. Many of the scenarios in these letters will be recognizable to lesbian, bisexual, and queer women and people of marginalized genders. Court and her guest advice columnists (JD Samson, Samantha Kirby, Kalyn Rose Heffernan, and other wise sages) provide plenty of insight while dishing out honest advice and thoughtful suggestions with humor, hopefulness, and respect. The book concludes with resources on mental health, sexual violence, queer relationships, and more. VERDICT While many of these questions come from people in their twenties, the valuable advice and relatable anecdotes will have YA crossover appeal. LGBTQ+ people of all ages will find stories that resonate deeply, and will appreciate Court's candor and humor throughout.—Rachel Rosenberg, North Vancouver District Lib., BC

Library Journal