The Essential Guide to Caring for Aging Parents: A Wise and Practical Guide to Navigating the Complex World of Family Elder Care
352The Essential Guide to Caring for Aging Parents: A Wise and Practical Guide to Navigating the Complex World of Family Elder Care
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Overview
Product Details
ISBN-13: | 9781101585788 |
---|---|
Publisher: | DK |
Publication date: | 07/18/2012 |
Series: | Essential Guide |
Sold by: | Penguin Group |
Format: | eBook |
Pages: | 352 |
File size: | 1 MB |
Age Range: | 18 Years |
About the Author
Table of Contents
Part 1 Problem Solving Amid Confusion 1
1 What's Really Wrong with My Parent? 3
Signs That Something Is Amiss 4
Aging's Big Four 6
Heart Attacks 7
Brain Attacks 9
Cancer 12
Alzheimer's and Other Dementias 13
Getting a Heads-Up: Geriatric Assessments 19
Researching Medical Conditions 21
2 Defining Problems: Considering All Viewpoints 23
Appreciating Your Parents' Perspective 24
Deciphering What's Really Going On 26
Identifying Your Motivations and Emotional Triggers 29
Defining the Problem 32
3 Developing a Caregiver Game Plan 35
Identifying Caregiving Needs and Tasks 36
What's the Goal? 41
Set Your Criteria for Your Solutions 42
Sizing Up Your Life and Resources 44
Creating Solutions 45
Plan B 47
4 Getting Your Caregiving Plan Organized 49
Doing the Advance Work 50
Setting Up a Portfolio 52
Long-Distance Caregivers-More Advance Work 53
Delegating Tasks and Family Meetings 56
Holding a Family Meeting 57
Meeting Preliminaries 58
Sample Agenda 59
Rules of Engagement 60
Social Networking and Online Information Sharing 61
5 Managing Your Stress 63
Understanding the Toll of Stress 64
How Stressed Are You? 68
Caregiver Emotions: Breaking It Down 70
Guilt 70
Worry 72
Sadness and Depression 73
Resentment 74
Anger 75
Everyday Stress Relievers 77
Respite Care by the Day and Vacations 78
Support Groups: Real and Virtual 80
Caregiver Covenant 81
Part 2 The Elder Care Landscape: Know More, Act Confidently 83
6 Caregiving Services to the Rescue 85
Geriatric Care Managers 85
Community Services 88
Adult Day Centers 90
Home Health Care 93
Nonmedical Senior Care 96
Public Caregiving Programs 98
Eldercare Locator: Locating Services Nationwide 99
Area Agencies on Aging 99
Home and Community-Based Services Waiver Programs 101
The Veterans Administration 101
Medicare 102
Benefits Checkup 103
7 Finding the Best Living Option for Your Parent 105
Living at Home 106
Universal Design 106
High-Tech Services and Devices 107
Electronic Medication Dispensers 108
Sensors for Stove Safety 108
Activities of Daily Living Remote Monitors 109
Telehealth Devices 109
High-Touch Human Services 110
Independent Living Communities 110
Assisted Living 113
Skilled Nursing Facilities 114
Research Nursing Homes 116
Consider the Costs 118
Alternative Living Arrangements 119
Group Homes 119
ECHO Housing 120
Natural Occurring Retirement Communities (NORC) 120
Moving Made Easy 121
8 Common Legal Matters and How to Work Through Them 123
Having That Conversation with Your Parents 124
Elder Law Attorneys 125
General Power of Attorney 128
Durable Health-Care Power of Attorney 129
Wills, Letters of Instruction, and Trusts 131
Wills 131
Personal Property Memorandum and Letter of Instruction 133
Trusts 135
Testamentary Trusts 135
Revocable Living Trusts 135
Irrevocable Living Trusts 135
Guardianship as the Last Resort 136
Understanding "Do Not Resuscitate" Orders 137
Part 3 Managing Medical Life 139
9 Getting Organized Medically 141
Navigating Body Parts Medicine 141
Finding a Captain: The Primary Care Doctor 144
Preparing for Doctor Appointments 145
How to Relate to Your Parents Doctors 145
What to Ask the Doctor 147
Managing Medications 149
Getting Health-Care Providers on the Same Page 152
A Few Pointers on HIPAA Privacy Rules 154
10 The Insurance Maze 157
The ABC's and D of Medicare 157
Hospital Insurance: Part A 158
Medical Insurance: Part B 158
Medicare Advantage Plans: Part C 159
Prescription Drug Coverage: Part D 161
Medigap Policies: Alphabet Soup 162
Medicaid: State Assistance 163
Long-Term Care Insurance 164
State Health Insurance Programs 167
Fighting Back: Filing Appeals 168
11 When Your Parent Is Hospitalized 173
The First Hurdle: Finding the Best Hospital 173
Once Admitted, Are You Really a Patient? 175
Meet the Hospitalist 177
Getting Out Alive 179
How to Stop an Early Discharge 181
Everybody's Favorite: Emergency Rooms 183
What Are They Saying? Understanding Medicalese 184
12 End-of-Life Care 189
Stages of Coming to Terms with the End of Life 190
Living Wills or Advance Directive 192
What Dying People Want 194
The Painless Promise of Palliative Care 197
When to Call in Hospice 198
Part 4 Family Dynamics in the Swirl of Caregiving 203
13 Working Through the Generational Gap 205
Describing the Generations 206
Baby Boomer Missteps 209
See a Problem, Fix a Problem … Quickly 209
Question the Doctors, Search for Experts 211
No Reaction Means They're Okay with It 211
Let's Hire Some Help 212
Greatest Generation Missteps 213
Disregard Risks 213
Ignore the Facts 214
Suppress Information 215
Use the "Parent Card" 216
Finding Common Ground 217
14 Siblings and Caregiving: Making It Work 219
Childhood Revisited 219
Mom and Dad's Role in Shaping Your Relationship 222
Gender Bias 223
Playing Favorites, Competition, and Labels 224
Refocusing Your Sibling Lens , 225
Recognize What You're All Going Through 226
Parents' Perceptions 227
Refocusing How You See Your Siblings 228
Reacquainted and Working Together 230
15 Making the Family Dynamic Work 235
Elder Care's Impact on Family Structure 236
Dimensions of Blended Families 237
When Blended Becomes a Battleground 240
Caregiving Styles Within Families 241
Facilitating 242
Balancing 242
Advocating 243
Directing 243
Working Families: Setting Realistic Expectations 244
New Times: Mom, Will You Hire Me? 247
Part 5 Communicating in Sync 249
16 Reaching Accord: Styles of Communicating for Caregivers 251
The Four Styles of Communicating 251
Passive Communicators 252
Aggressive Communicators 253
Passive-Aggressive Communicators 254
Assertive Communicators 255
What's Your Style? 256
Using a Style That Works 258
17 Four Classic Elder Care Conflicts 263
Unsafe Drivers Who Won't Give Up the Keys 264
When Dementia Makes Living Alone Unsafe 266
Considering Your Spouse's Feelings When Your Parent Moving In Is Up for Discussion 267
Soliciting Help from Siblings When You're the Caregiver 271
If Your Sibling Doesn't Get Along with Your Parent 272
Ways Your Sibling Can Help Without Interacting with Your Parent 273
18 Talking Through Money Issues 275
Why You Should Talk About Money: The Costs of Elder Care 276
It's Not Just About the Money 277
What's Your Money Style? 280
The Saver 280
The Spender 281
The Avoider 281
The Worrier 282
Talking Through Money and Elder Care Issues 282
A Few More Financial Considerations 284
19 Talking Through Dementia 289
Family Emotions 290
Sadness and Depression 290
Anxiety, Anger, and Guilt 291
Embarrassment and Isolation 291
Dementia's Seeds of Discord 292
Communicating with Someone Who Has Alzheimer's 294
Establishing a New Normal 296
The Care Receiver's Values 298
Appendixes
A Resource Directory 301
B Caregiver Forms 317
C Medical Forms 321
Index 325