Table of Contents
List of Illustrations xi
Acknowledgments xiii
List of Abbreviations xv
Introduction 1
Prelude 21
Part I Pleasure and Pain (lob and ra)
1 "Sacred Space" 25
2 Ruptures 34
3 Life Amid the Ruins 39
4 Happy Times 46
5 Weddings 52
Part II Seeking Ground
6 Wanderings and Worries 61
7 Manhattan 65
8 Nazis 69
9 London 76
10 Battles and Choices 84
Part III The Incomparable Year
11 New Ground 93
12 New Arrival 97
13 Finkenwalde 101
14 Murmurs of War 107
15 First Encounter 110
16 Ruth 112
17 Collision Courses 117
Part IV Reconfigurations
18 New World 125
19 Days of Love and Hope 130
20 Squaring Off against the Führer 134
21 Friendship 139
22 "Convents" and Concentration Camps 145
23 What Will It Be? 149
Part V Decisions
24 Troubles 159
25 Escape 165
26 Changes 171
27 War Worries: 1939 176
28 London Redux 179
29 Sailing Away 185
30 Agony 189
31 Do You Want Me? 193
Part VI War and Conspiracies
32 Homecoming 201
33 Cold Idyll, Dark Nights 206
34 Winter, War, Wonder, Woe 210
35 Gert Gone 214
36 Darker Hours 219
37 Exile in Ettal 226
38 The Foretaste of Paradise 233
39 Human Hearts in 1941 237
40 Conspiracies 241
41 City Life, Country Life 247
42 Horrors and Joys 254
43 Shadows 260
Part VII Cornered: 1942-43
44 Risks 269
45 Ruth and Maria 275
46 Sweden, Krössin, Berlin 280
47 Maria 288
48 Pursuit 294
49 The Noose Tightens 300
50 Trapped 304
51 White Nurse 307
Part VIII Alone
52 Locked In 313
53 Care and Feeding 317
54 The Wedding Sermon 322
55 Don't You Like Being Romantic? 328
56 Writing and Dissatisfaction 333
57 Doubts and Delights 341
Part IX Eberhard and Maria
58 Joy 349
59 Christmas 354
60 Berlin Falling 362
61 Birth and Ruin 368
62 Seesaw 373
63 Maria, Eberhard 377
64 Unraveled 380
Part X Saints
65 Catastrophe 389
66 Endings 392
67 Revenge 396
68 Arrest 400
69 Escape 403
70 Threads 407
71 Over 411
72 More Threads 414
Epilogue 419
Appendix I Maria von Wedemeyer Timeline: 1935-45 421
Appendix II Orientation and Celibacy Questions 428
Bibliography 435
Index 443