The December Project: An Extraordinary Rabbi and a Skeptical Seeker Confront Life's Greatest Mystery

by Sara Davidson

Overview

A Jewish Book Award Finalist

In the tradition of Tuesdays with Morrie and The Last Lecture, New York Times bestselling author Sara Davidson met every Friday with 89-year-old Rabbi Zalman Shachter-Shalomi, the iconic founder of the Jewish Renewal movment, to discuss what he calls The December Project. "When you can feel in your cells that you're coming to the end of your tour of duty," he said, "what is the spiritual work of this time, and how do we prepare for the mystery?"

Davidson, who has a seeker's heart and a skeptic's mind, jumped at the chance to spend time with him. She'd long feared that death would be a complete annihilation, while Reb Zalman felt certain that "something continues." He said he didn't want to convince her of anything. "What I want is to loosen your mind." Through their talks, he wanted to help people "not freak out about dying," and enable them to have a more heightened and grateful life.

For two years, they met every week, and this is Davidson's memoir of what they learned and how they changed. Interspersed with their talks are sketches from Reb Zalman's extraordinary life. He barely escaped the Nazis, became an Orthodox rabbi in the US, was married four times and had eleven children, one from a sperm donation to a lesbian rabbi, and formed friendships with leaders of other faiths, such as Thomas Merton and the Dalai Lama. Breaking with the Orthodox, he founded the Jewish Renewal Movement to encourage people to have a direct experience of God.

During their time together, Davidson was nearly killed by a suicide bomb, and Reb Zalman struggled with a steep decline in health. Together they created strategies to deal with pain and memory loss, and found tools to cultivate simplicity, fearlessness, and joy—at any age. Davidson includes twelve exercises so that readers may experience what she did—a sea change in facing what we all must face: mortality.

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9780062281760
Publisher:	HarperCollins
Publication date:	11/21/2023
Sold by:	Barnes & Noble
Format:	eBook
Pages:	213
File size:	634 KB

About the Author

Sara Davidson is the New York Times bestselling author of eight books, including Loose Change: Three Women of the Sixties; Joan: Forty Years of Life, Loss, and Friendship with Joan Didion; and Leap! She has written for the New York Times Magazine, Newsweek, Harper's, The Atlantic, Esquire, and Rolling Stone. Davidson lives in Boulder, Colorado.

Half the author's proceeds go to support the Reb Zalman Legacy Project.

Table of Contents

Preface xi

1 I Want to Loosen Your Mind 1

2 What If It Ends in Nothing? 10

3 Planning the Exit 18

4 Get Ready 23

5 Where Could We Run? 27

6 Make Room for Intuition, and Listen 34

7 Fleeing for Our Lives 39

8 Dealing with Pain and Memory Loss 47

9 A Soldier in the Rebbe's Army 54

10 Can We Choose When to Die? 62

11 If You Go to Afghanistan 67

12 "Don't You Trust the Holy Spirit?" 75

13 Breaking Through Fear 81

14 Kicked Out of the Nest 88

15 Forgive, Forgive 95

16 Friday Night Is Lovers' Night 105

17 When Mom Dies 109

18 Review Your Life 118

19 Facing the Steep Decline 126

20 Recalculating 130

24 Let Go, Let Go 141

22 You Can Take Me Now 150

23 The Ultimate Letting Go 158

Exercises

1 Give Thanks 165

2 Make Friends with Solitude, and Create an Inner Sanctuary 167

3 Meditate Between Contractions 169

4 Disidentify with the Body 171

5 When Your Memory Fails 172

6 Forgive, Forgive 173

7 Kvetch to God 178

8 Make Room for Intuition 179

9 Review Your Life 181

10 Claim Your Unlived Life 183

11 Hang a Bell 184

12 Let Go 185

Glossary 189

Editorial Reviews

12/09/2013
This work is the fruit of a series of weekly conversations conducted over two years between the 60-something journalist and writer Davidson (Loose Change) and the pioneering 85-year-old neo-Hasidic/Jewish Renewal rabbi, Zalman Schachter-Shalomi. Besides touching on topics like aging well, facing mortality, and dying, Davidson provides a biographical sketch of Schachter-Shalomi—from his narrow escape from the Holocaust through the influence of the sixth Lubavitcher rebbe on his life and thought to his encounters with such influential non-Jewish figures as the Catholic monk Thomas Merton. In their meetings, Zalman makes insightful observations from his personal struggles and spiritual journey, and poses striking questions to the author. Fortunately, Davidson and Schacter-Shalomi don’t elide the most difficult aspects of aging, including physical pain and memory loss (a topic close to Davidson, whose mother suffers from Alzheimer’s). Davidson ends with 12 exercises—from taking a “gratitude walk” to feeling free to “kvetch to God”—designed to help readers achieve a Zalman-like, hard-earned equanimity in the last stage of their lives. For boomers who wish to devote serious attention to questions of meaning as they experience ineluctable aging, this book of intense, personal conversations leavened with profound insights is an excellent place to begin. (Apr.)

Publishers Weekly

Thoroughly engaging, this book about the winter season of life glitters with insight and wisdom—for all our years.” — Andrew Weil, MD, author of Healthy Aging and Spontaneous Happiness

“Anyone embarking on The December Project is in for a surprise: there is as much laughter, healing, and deep peace in these pages as sober reflection on being human. Above all, this book is a testament to the rich rewards of conversation between fearless friends.” — Barbara Brown Taylor, author of Learning to Walk in the Dark

“Revelatory… the best rendering of Reb Zalman’s wisdom that I’ve come across… (Davidson’s) transformation seems to have come simply from being in the elder sage’s presence - and seeing that there’s a real person behind the “sage.” Thanks to “The December Project,” we can taste some of that presence ourselves.” — Jay Michaelson, The Forward

“A gem of a book for anyone of any faith tradition. Reb Zalman is wise, funny and irresistible. You will want to read this book cover to cover.” — Sharon Salzberg, author of Real Happiness and a founder of Insight Meditation Society

“An exuberant piece of writing I found both moving and instructive. What makes it so rich is that Davidson owns ‘a seeker’s heart and a skeptic’s mind.’” — Will Blythe, former literary editor of Esquire and author of To Hate Like This Is to Be Happy Forever

“Anyone who has had the opportunity to spend private time with Reb Zalman, to be in spiritual intimacy with him, knows it is a life-changing experience. Sara Davidson has had that experience, and now through her writing, you can too.” — Rodger Kamenetz, author of The Jew in the Lotus and The History of Last Night's Dream

“As baby boomers begin to approach the end of their lives, the time is right for books about the spirituality of dying.... This is a book they’ll want to read.” — Anna Jedrziewski, Retailing Insight

“For boomers who wish to devote serious attention to questions of meaning as they experience ineluctable aging, this book of intense, personal conversations leavened with profound insights is an excellent place to begin.” — Publishers Weekly (framed review)

“A biography of a spiritual genius preparing for his last day by helping us prepare for our next day. If you don’t know Reb Zalman, please let Sara introduce you to him. If you do know him, please let Sara introduce you to him more intimately.” — Rabbi Rami Shapiro, author of Perennial Wisdom for the Spiritually Independent

“This is not a morbid book about the end of life, but a bright, spirited discussion between a great teacher and a sincere seeker.” — Larry Dossey, MD, author of One Mind and Healing Words: The Power of Prayer and the Practice of Medicine

“Davidson brings us the dialogue we dream of having: where we can place our darkest doubts and fears in the loving embrace of a profound elder, who’s grooming us patiently for what’s waiting around the inevitable corner of our lives.” — Rabbi Tirzah Firestone, author of With Roots in Heaven and The Woman's Kabbalah

“The December Project embodies deep spiritual wisdom…. A lovely book.” — Marianne Williamson, author of A Return to Love

“Renowned journalist Sara Davidson has drawn out new, previously unrevealed dimensions of Reb Zalman, one of the great teachers of our age. Listening in on their conversations is both mind and soul expanding.” — Rabbi Joseph Telushkin, author of Jewish Literacy, and Hillel

“Rabbi Zalman Schachter Shalomi is the most creative teacher and practitioner of Jewish spirituality in the Western world. Sara Davidson’s lively engagement with his teachings highlights a curious mind and a beautiful soul that we are blessed to be able to encounter through this book.” — Rabbi Michael Lerner, editor of Tikkun Magazine and author of Jewish Renewal: A Path to Healing and Transformation

“Bracing, brave observations [that] should empower readers of any age.” — Spirituality&Health

“A warm and wise new book . . . a mediated memoir and meditation on the end of life. … A tour through the rabbi’s unusual life sprinkled with bits of folksy wisdom, and suggestions on how to achieve a little peace yourself.” — Boulder Daily Camera

“The December Project is full of the ‘great questions’ that Schachter-Shalomi is famous for asking. [The book] distills spiritual wisdom and teachings about coping with mortality of this rabbi who has spent his life both deepening his ties to the Jewish tradition and innovating outward.” — Tablet Magazine

“In her compelling new book, Davidson allows us to eavesdrop on two years of conversation with Rabbi Zalman Schachter-Shalomi. . . . Reb Zalman’s wisdom shines out from the book’s pages . . . a celebratory book.” — Jewish Journal

“Sara Davidson shares the joy and wisdom that she gleaned from two years of weekly talks with eighty-six year old Rabbi Zalman Schachter-Shalomi. A delight to read, the lingering gifts of this book are peace, love and sweetness.” — Light of Consciousness Journal

“Sara Davidson caught the spirit of this many-sided man in her interviews, and she has transmitted his insights into how to live in the December stage of our lives to all those who read this book. I recommend this one wholeheartedly.” — South Florida Jewish Journal

Shortly before Jewish renewal movement founder Rabbi Zalman Schachter-Shalomi died in July, The December Project appeared. In it, the guru-like rabbi shared eldering wisdom and anticipatory thoughts on dying well. ... A chance for a wider audience to access the teachings of Reb Zalman. — Lillith

“[Davidson] strikes a keen balance between sharing enough of herself that she is a real presence in the book, and withdrawing enough that we can feel that we too are sitting in intimate conversation with Reb Zalman, gleaning some of what he’s harvested over nearly ninety years of life.” — Rabbi Rachel Barenblat, author of The Velveteen Rabbi

From the Publisher

This is not a morbid book about the end of life, but a bright, spirited discussion between a great teacher and a sincere seeker.

Larry Dossey

As baby boomers begin to approach the end of their lives, the time is right for books about the spirituality of dying.... This is a book they’ll want to read.

Anna Jedrziewski

A biography of a spiritual genius preparing for his last day by helping us prepare for our next day. If you don’t know Reb Zalman, please let Sara introduce you to him. If you do know him, please let Sara introduce you to him more intimately.

Rabbi Rami Shapiro

An exuberant piece of writing I found both moving and instructive. What makes it so rich is that Davidson owns ‘a seeker’s heart and a skeptic’s mind.’

Will Blythe

Anyone embarking on The December Project is in for a surprise: there is as much laughter, healing, and deep peace in these pages as sober reflection on being human. Above all, this book is a testament to the rich rewards of conversation between fearless friends.

Barbara Brown Taylor

Anyone who has had the opportunity to spend private time with Reb Zalman, to be in spiritual intimacy with him, knows it is a life-changing experience. Sara Davidson has had that experience, and now through her writing, you can too.

Rodger Kamenetz

Thoroughly engaging, this book about the winter season of life glitters with insight and wisdom—for all our years.

Andrew Weil

Revelatory… the best rendering of Reb Zalman’s wisdom that I’ve come across… (Davidson’s) transformation seems to have come simply from being in the elder sage’s presence - and seeing that there’s a real person behind the “sage.” Thanks to “The December Project,” we can taste some of that presence ourselves.

Jay Michaelson

A gem of a book for anyone of any faith tradition. Reb Zalman is wise, funny and irresistible. You will want to read this book cover to cover.

Sharon Salzberg

A warm and wise new book . . . a mediated memoir and meditation on the end of life. … A tour through the rabbi’s unusual life sprinkled with bits of folksy wisdom, and suggestions on how to achieve a little peace yourself.

Boulder Daily Camera

Bracing, brave observations [that] should empower readers of any age.

Spirituality&Health

[Davidson] strikes a keen balance between sharing enough of herself that she is a real presence in the book, and withdrawing enough that we can feel that we too are sitting in intimate conversation with Reb Zalman, gleaning some of what he’s harvested over nearly ninety years of life.

Rabbi Rachel Barenblat

Renowned journalist Sara Davidson has drawn out new, previously unrevealed dimensions of Reb Zalman, one of the great teachers of our age. Listening in on their conversations is both mind and soul expanding.

Rabbi Joseph Telushkin

The December Project is full of the ‘great questions’ that Schachter-Shalomi is famous for asking. [The book] distills spiritual wisdom and teachings about coping with mortality of this rabbi who has spent his life both deepening his ties to the Jewish tradition and innovating outward.

Tablet Magazine

Sara Davidson caught the spirit of this many-sided man in her interviews, and she has transmitted his insights into how to live in the December stage of our lives to all those who read this book. I recommend this one wholeheartedly.

South Florida Jewish Journal

Davidson brings us the dialogue we dream of having: where we can place our darkest doubts and fears in the loving embrace of a profound elder, who’s grooming us patiently for what’s waiting around the inevitable corner of our lives.

Rabbi Tirzah Firestone

Rabbi Zalman Schachter Shalomi is the most creative teacher and practitioner of Jewish spirituality in the Western world. Sara Davidson’s lively engagement with his teachings highlights a curious mind and a beautiful soul that we are blessed to be able to encounter through this book.

Rabbi Michael Lerner

Shortly before Jewish renewal movement founder Rabbi Zalman Schachter-Shalomi died in July, The December Project appeared. In it, the guru-like rabbi shared eldering wisdom and anticipatory thoughts on dying well. ... A chance for a wider audience to access the teachings of Reb Zalman.

Lillith

Sara Davidson shares the joy and wisdom that she gleaned from two years of weekly talks with eighty-six year old Rabbi Zalman Schachter-Shalomi. A delight to read, the lingering gifts of this book are peace, love and sweetness.

Light of Consciousness Journal

In her compelling new book, Davidson allows us to eavesdrop on two years of conversation with Rabbi Zalman Schachter-Shalomi. . . . Reb Zalman’s wisdom shines out from the book’s pages . . . a celebratory book.

Jewish Journal

The December Project embodies deep spiritual wisdom…. A lovely book.

Marianne Williamson

”There are really three books here: Reb Zalman on the December years, his recollection of his life, and Davidson’s own journey. Each has its rewards. …The December Project is the best rendering of Reb Zalman’s wisdom that I’ve come across.

The Jewish Daily Forward

11/15/2013
The aging of the baby boomer generation seems to have opened up the taboo topic of death in new ways (e.g., Joan Didion's The Year of Magical Thinking). Here Davidson (Loose Change) converses with Zalman Schachter-Shalomi ("Reb Zalman") to help readers of all ages prepare for the last stages of life: to come to terms with fear, with loss, with pain, and with letting go. VERDICT Both a kind of biography of Zalman and a moving manual on dying, this book should reach far beyond a Jewish or aging readership.

Library Journal