The Courage to Be Happy: Discover the Power of Positive Psychology and Choose Happiness Every Day

by Ichiro Kishimi, Fumitake Koga

Overview

In this follow-up to the international bestseller and TikTok sensation The Courage to Be Disliked, discover how to reconnect with your true self, experience true happiness, and live the life you want.

What if one simple choice could unlock your destiny?

Already a major international bestseller, this eye-opening and accessible follow-up to the “compelling” (Marc Andreessen) worldwide phenomenon The Courage to be Disliked shares the powerful teachings of Alfred Adler, one of the giants of 19th-century psychology, through another illuminating dialogue between the philosopher and the young man.

Three years after their first conversation, the young man finds himself disillusioned and disappointed, convinced Adler’s teachings only work in theory, not in practice. But through further discussions between the philosopher and the young man, they deepen their own understandings of Adler’s powerful teachings, and learn the tools needed to apply Adler’s teachings to the chaos of everyday life.

To be read on its own or as a companion to the bestselling first book, The Courage to Be Happy reveals a bold new way of thinking and living, empowering you to let go of the shackles of past trauma and the expectations of others, and to use this freedom to create the life you truly desire.

Plainspoken yet profoundly moving, reading The Courage to Be Happy will light a torch with the power to illuminate your life and brighten the world as we know it. Now you can discover the courage to choose happiness.

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9781982123000
Publisher:	Atria Books
Publication date:	12/24/2019
Pages:	304
Sales rank:	66,733
Product dimensions:	5.80(w) x 8.50(h) x 1.10(d)

About the Author

Ichiro Kishimi was born in Kyoto, where he currently resides. He writes and lectures on Adlerian psychology and provides counseling for youths in psychiatric clinics as a certified counselor and consultant for the Japanese Society of Adlerian Psychology. He is the translator, into Japanese, of selected writings by Alfred Adler—The Science of Living and Problems of Neurosis—and he is the author of Introduction to Adlerian Psychology, in addition to numerous other books.

Fumitake Koga is an award-winning professional writer and author. He has released numerous bestselling works of business-related and general non-fiction. He encountered Adlerian psychology in his late twenties and was deeply affected by its conventional wisdom–defying ideas. Thereafter, Koga made numerous visits to Ichiro Kishimi in Kyoto, gleaned from him the essence of Adlerian psychology, and took down the notes for the classical “dialogue format” method of Greek philosophy that is used in this book.

Read an Excerpt

Author’s Note Authors’ Note
Alfred Adler, the thinker who was a hundred years ahead of his time. Though he stands beside Sigmund Freud and Carl Gustav Jung as one of the most important figures in the world of psychology, Adler was for many years a “forgotten giant.” Since the publication of The Courage to Be Disliked, the context of Adler and his school of thought has gone through a remarkable transformation. Adler has been widely known in Europe and America for some time. But now, after our book spent a record-setting fifty-one weeks as a number-one bestseller—having sold millions of copies in South Korea and Japan—I have a strong sense that Adler is present within many people, and no longer needs introduction. There is something deeply moving about his ideals being accepted in Asia after the passage of a hundred years.

The Courage to Be Disliked is a kind of map for informing people of the existence of Adlerian psychology, and for giving an overview of Adler’s ideas. It is a grand map that we put together over the course of several years, with the intention of creating a definitive introduction to Adlerian psychology.

The Courage to Be Happy, on the other hand, is a kind of compass for actually putting Adler’s ideas into practice and leading a happy life. And it may also be thought of as a collection of behavioral guidelines showing how one may progress toward the objectives laid out in the first book.

In The Courage to Be Happy, once more we find the philosopher engaged in a dialogue with the pessimistic youth. Three years after the conclusion of The Courage to Be Disliked, the youth, who has become a teacher with the intention of putting Adler’s ideas into practice, calls on the philosopher one last time. Frustrated with Adlerian psychology and angry with the philosopher for introducing him to Adler’s ideals, the youth has returned to the philosopher’s study to challenge everything the philosopher taught him and insist that he cease to corrupt other young minds with ideals that don’t hold up in the real world when interacting with real people. Calmly, the philosopher invites the youth to join him for one final conversation about having courage not only to take the first step toward happiness, but to continue walking along the path of self-improvement in order to love, be self-reliant, and nurture community feeling.

In what way can we make concrete progress on the path to happiness shown in the preceding volume, The Courage to Be Disliked? How can we put Adlerian psychology into practice in our everyday lives? And what is that conclusion arrived at by Adler, “the biggest choice in life,” that everyone must make in order to live in happiness?

The curtain opens once more on this strong-medicine philosophical dialogue. Do you have the courage to climb the stairway of understanding with the youth?

Table of Contents

Authors' Note xiii

Introduction xvii

Part I That Bad Person and Poor Me

Is Adlerian Psychology a Religion? 5

The Objective of Education Is Self-Reliance 12

Respect Is Seeing People as They Are 21

Have Concern for Other People's Concerns 29

If We Had "the Same Kind of Heart and Life" 34

Courage Is Contagious, and Respect Is Contagious Too 37

The Real Reason Why One "Can't Change" 43

Your Now Decides the Past 48

That Bad Person and Poor Me 51

There's No Magic in Adlerian Psychology 57

Part II Why Negate Reward and Punishment?

The Classroom Is a Democratic Nation 65

Do Not Rebuke and Do Not Praise 69

What Is the Goal of Problem Behavior? 75

Hate Me! Abandon Me! 80

If There Is Punishment, Does the Crime Go Away? 88

Violence in the Name of Communication 95

Getting Angry and Rebuking Are Synonymous 99

One Can Choose One's Own Life 103

Part III From the Principle of Competition to the Principle of Cooperation

Negate Praise-Based Development 115

Reward Gives Rise to Competition 119

The Disease of the Community 122

Life Begins from Incompleteness 126

The Courage to Be Myself 135

That Problem Behavior Is Directed at "You" 139

Why a Person Wants to Become a Savior 143

Education Is Friendship, Not Work 149

Part IV Give, and It Shall Be Given Unto You

All Joy Is Interpersonal Relationship Joy 157

Do You Trust? Do You Have Confidence? 162

Why Work Becomes a Life Task 169

All Professions Are Honorable 173

The Important Thing Is "What Use One Makes of That Equipment" 178

How Many Close Friends Do You Have? 185

First, Believe 189

People Never Understand Each Other 193

Life Is Made Up of Trials of "Nothing Days" 197

Give, and It Shall Be Given Unto You 201

Part V Choose a Life You Love

Love Is Not Something One "Falls" Into 209

From an Art of Being Loved toward an Art of Loving 213

Love Is a Task Accomplished by Two People 217

Switch the Subject of Life 221

Self-Reliance Is Breaking Away from "Me" 225

To Whom Is That Love Directed? 233

How Can One Get One's Parents' Love? 237

People Are Afraid of Loving 243

There Is No Destined One 246

Love Is a Decision 250

Re-Choose Your Lifestyle 253

Keeping It Simple 261

To the Friends Who Will Make a New Era 264

Afterword 271

Editorial Reviews

09/30/2019

Taking the form of a Socratic dialogue between a young educator and his mentor, this instructive and enjoyable follow-up to The Courage to Be Disliked extends Kishimi and Koga’s interpretation of Adlerian psychology from the philosopher’s study into the real world. In the three years that have elapsed since the first book, the young man in the dialogue has tried to implement Austrian psychotherapist Alfred Alder’s theories and failed to see their benefit when applied to unruly schoolchildren and returns to confront his former teacher. In a conversation lasting until dawn, the young man repeatedly protests what he sees as the abstract nature of Adler’s ideas and argues they are “divorced from reality.” In order to demonstrate the “self-reliance” that Adler considered the goal of education, the philosopher leads his former student to draw his own conclusions by modeling the methods he prescribes. Witnessing this exchange, the reader follows the young man’s path toward accepting the simplicity of Adler’s exhortation to “love, be self-reliant, and choose life,” however difficult it may be. Thanks to the summaries of key concepts and many digestible, koanlike insights, readers will find this an approachable introduction to many of Adler’s theories on learning and self-improvement. (Dec.)

Publishers Weekly

"A nuanced discussion of a complex theory, with moments of real philosophical insight.... [It's] refreshing and useful to read a philosophy that goes against many contemporary orthodoxies. More than a century since Adler founded his school of psychology, there’s still insight and novelty in his theories."

Quartzy

Praise for The Courage to Be Disliked

"Marie Kondo, but for your brain."

Hello Giggles

Adlerian psychology meets Stoic philosophy in Socratic dialogue. Compelling from front to back. Highly recommend.

Marc Andreessen