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The Conscious Parent's Guide to Positive Discipline: A Mindful Approach for Building a Healthy, Respectful Relationship with Your Child
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The Conscious Parent's Guide to Positive Discipline: A Mindful Approach for Building a Healthy, Respectful Relationship with Your Child
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Overview
When a child misbehaves, the situation can quickly escalate into an uphill battle of yelling, tears, and resistance--on both sides. But what if you could avoid all that? Conscious parenting is about being present with your child and taking the time to understand the reasons and motivations behind behaviors. This relationship-centered approached means that you respect your child's point of view as you both learn how to create a mutually-beneficially set of behavioral rules. By practicing this mindful method, you can support your child emotionally and help nurture important social development.
Parent coach Jennifer Costa teaches you how to:
- Communicate openly with your child about proper behavior
- Build a supportive home environment
- Determine your child's behavioral triggers
- Learn strategies that will help your child feel calm
- Teach your child long-term coping skills
- Discipline your child without embracing anger
Product Details
ISBN-13: | 9781440594366 |
---|---|
Publisher: | Adams Media |
Publication date: | 01/01/2016 |
Series: | The Conscious Parent's Guides |
Sold by: | SIMON & SCHUSTER |
Format: | eBook |
Pages: | 240 |
File size: | 381 KB |
About the Author
Table of Contents
Introduction 9
Chapter 1 Conscious Parenting 11
The Benefits of Conscious Parenting 12
Giving Your Child Your Full Attention 14
Understanding Behavior 15
Important Points to Consider 16
Chapter 2 The Basics of Discipline 17
Conscious versus Unconscious Discipline 18
How Discipline Affects Your Relationship 18
Classical Conditioning in a Nutshell 19
Understanding Instruction 21
Principles of Positive Correction 23
Behavior Snapshot 24
Important Points to Consider 25
Chapter 3 Meeting the Challenges of Discipline 27
Your Attitude Matters 28
Guidance for the Future 29
Risking Resentment 30
Keeping Priorities in Order 31
Behavior Snapshot 32
Important Points to Consider 32
Chapter 4 Understanding the Limits of Parental Control 33
Placing Parental Influence in Perspective 34
Recognizing the Extent of Parental Responsibility 34
To Change Your Child, Change Yourself 35
Handling Attention Problems 37
Discipline through Medication 39
Behavior Snapshot 40
Important Points to Consider 41
Chapter 5 The Principle of Consent 43
Consciously Working for Consent 44
Compromising to Get Consent 45
Handling Frustration 46
Dealing with Anger through Mindfulness 48
The Power of Choice 49
Internal Locus of Control 51
Behavior Snapshot 51
Important Points to Consider 52
Chapter 6 Communicating with Courtesy 53
Dignity of Personhood 54
The Power of Discourtesy 54
Teaching Your Child to Apologize 55
Modeling Forgiveness to Let Go of Hurt 56
Communicating the Wrong Message 59
Adjusting for Growth Cycles 59
Behavior Snapshot 61
Important Points to Consider 62
Chapter 7 Consciously Dealing with Differences 63
Recognizing and Respecting Different Personalities 64
Two Parents, Two Views 65
Balancing Acceptance and Demands 66
Different Genders 67
Learning Styles 68
The Danger of "Good" and "Bad" 68
Behavior Snapshot 70
Important Points to Consider 70
Chapter 8 Mindful Parental Authority 73
Modeling Behavior for Your Child 74
Being Deliberate in Your Choices 74
Talking the Talk and Walking the Walk (Being a Mentor) 76
Ways You Communicate Authority 77
Behavior Snapshot 78
Important Points to Consider 79
Chapter 9 Raising Responsible Children 81
Two Elements 82
Teaching Responsible Behavior 83
A Model for Teaching Responsible Behavior 84
Teaching Responsibility 85
Teaching Two-Step Thinking 87
The Choice/Consequence Connection 88
Casting off Responsibility 90
Counting and Earning Systems 91
Behavior Snapshot 92
Important Points to Consider 92
Chapter 10 Guidance: The First Factor 93
The Power of Persuasion 94
Partnering with Your Child 95
Giving Constructive Feedback about Performance 97
Sharing about Yourself 98
Behavior Snapshot 100
Important Points to Consider 100
Chapter 11 Supervision: The Second Factor 101
Good Parents Never Give Up 102
The Power of Pursuit 102
Be Relentless, but Not Emotional 104
Surveillance 105
Balancing Time Alone 107
The Messy Room 109
Resisting Schoolwork 111
The Power of Supervision 113
Behavior Snapshot 115
Important Points to Consider 115
Chapter 12 Punishment: The Third Factor 117
Violence Teaches Violence 118
Good Parents Never Back Off 118
The Power of Enforcement 120
The Limits of Punishment 124
External and Natural Consequences 125
Isolation As Punishment 126
Deprivation As Punishment 127
Reparation As Punishment 129
The Negative Attention Trap 130
Behavior Snapshot 131
Important Points to Consider 132
Chapter 13 Exchange Points: The Fourth Factor 133
Good Parents Get As Well As Give 134
The Power of Mutuality 135
Predictable Behaviors in Parents 136
Taking Back the Initiative 137
Being Part of the Family 138
Behavior Snapshot 139
Important Points to Consider 140
Chapter 14 Discipline Changes with Age 141
Early Childhood (Up to Age Three) 142
Late Childhood (Ages Four to Eight) 143
Transition Into Adolescence (Ages Nine to Ten) 144
Early and Midadolescence (Ages Nine to Fifteen) 145
Late Adolescence (Ages Fifteen to Eighteen) 146
Trial Independence (Ages Eighteen to Twenty-Three) 148
Once a Parent, Always a Parent 149
Behavior Snapshot 149
Important Points to Consider 150
Chapter 15 Disciplining the Teenager 151
Parenting the Teenager 152
The Problem of Hurry-Up Growth 153
Readjusting Expectations 154
The Four Stages of Adolescence 156
Substance Abuse and Informing Your Child 158
The Freedom Contract 163
Behavior Snapshot 164
Important Points to Consider 165
Chapter 16 Constructive Conflict 167
Why Conflict Is Necessary 168
The Nature of Conflict 169
The Dance of Conflict 171
Tactics to Avoid 172
Rules for Family Conflict 176
Behavior Snapshot 178
Important Points to Consider 179
Chapter 17 Early Adolescence (Ages Nine to Thirteen) 181
Signs of Early Adolescence 182
Understanding Insecurity and Low Self-Esteem 183
Separation from Childhood 186
The Negative Attitude 188
Recognizing Rebellion 190
Early Experimentation 192
Behavior Snapshot 194
Important Points to Consider 195
Chapter 18 Midadolescence (Ages Thirteen To Fifteen) 197
Your Adolescent's Worldview 198
Relationship Strains and Maintaining a Positive Perspective 200
Connecting Through the Shell of Self-Centeredness 201
Modeling Responsibility When Your Child Avoids It 202
The Battle Against Authority 203
Communicating with Your Teen 203
The Power of Peers 204
Adolescent Lies 206
Behavior Snapshot 209
Important Points to Consider 209
Chapter 19 Late Adolescence (Ages Fifteen to Eighteen) and Beyond 211
The Learning Curve of High School 212
Driving a Car 213
Holding a Part-Time Job 215
The Teen Social Scene 216
The Culture of Sex 218
Sexual Gaming 219
Romantic Relationships 221
What to Say about Having Sex 222
Preparing for Independence 223
Trial Independence (Ages Eighteen to Twenty-Three) 225
Behavior Snapshot 227
Important Points to Consider 228
Appendix A Helpful Websites 229
Appendix B Additional Resources 231
Index 233