The Conscious Parent's Guide to Positive Discipline: A Mindful Approach for Building a Healthy, Respectful Relationship with Your Child

by Jennifer Costa

Overview

Help your child learn self-discipline, cooperation, and responsibility!

When a child misbehaves, the situation can quickly escalate into an uphill battle of yelling, tears, and resistance—on both sides. But what if you could avoid all that? Conscious parenting is about being present with your child and taking the time to understand the reasons and motivations behind behaviors. This relationship-centered approached means that you respect your child's point of view as you both learn how to create a mutually-beneficially set of behavioral rules. By practicing this mindful method, you can support your child emotionally and help nurture important social development.

Parent coach Jennifer Costa teaches you how to:

• Communicate openly with your child about proper behavior
• Build a supportive home environment
• Determine your child's behavioral triggers
• Learn strategies that will help your child feel calm
• Teach your child long-term coping skills
• Discipline your child without embracing anger

With The Conscious Parent's Guide to Positive Discipline, you will learn to create a calm and mindful atmosphere for the whole family, while helping your child feel competent, successful, and healthy.

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9781440594359
Publisher:	Adams Media
Publication date:	02/01/2016
Series:	Conscious Parenting Relationship Series
Pages:	240
Sales rank:	377,280
Product dimensions:	5.40(w) x 8.40(h) x 0.80(d)

About the Author

Jennifer Costa is a behavioral specialist, social worker, and author. As a parent coach and mentor, she develops positive behavioral interventions and support materials for her clients, and teach positive discipline courses, and conscious parenting practices.

Table of Contents

Introduction 9

Chapter 1 Conscious Parenting 11

The Benefits of Conscious Parenting 12

Giving Your Child Your Full Attention 14

Understanding Behavior 15

Important Points to Consider 16

Chapter 2 The Basics of Discipline 17

Conscious versus Unconscious Discipline 18

How Discipline Affects Your Relationship 18

Classical Conditioning in a Nutshell 19

Understanding Instruction 21

Principles of Positive Correction 23

Behavior Snapshot 24

Important Points to Consider 25

Chapter 3 Meeting the Challenges of Discipline 27

Your Attitude Matters 28

Guidance for the Future 29

Risking Resentment 30

Keeping Priorities in Order 31

Behavior Snapshot 32

Important Points to Consider 32

Chapter 4 Understanding the Limits of Parental Control 33

Placing Parental Influence in Perspective 34

Recognizing the Extent of Parental Responsibility 34

To Change Your Child, Change Yourself 35

Handling Attention Problems 37

Discipline through Medication 39

Behavior Snapshot 40

Important Points to Consider 41

Chapter 5 The Principle of Consent 43

Consciously Working for Consent 44

Compromising to Get Consent 45

Handling Frustration 46

Dealing with Anger through Mindfulness 48

The Power of Choice 49

Internal Locus of Control 51

Behavior Snapshot 51

Important Points to Consider 52

Chapter 6 Communicating with Courtesy 53

Dignity of Personhood 54

The Power of Discourtesy 54

Teaching Your Child to Apologize 55

Modeling Forgiveness to Let Go of Hurt 56

Communicating the Wrong Message 59

Adjusting for Growth Cycles 59

Behavior Snapshot 61

Important Points to Consider 62

Chapter 7 Consciously Dealing with Differences 63

Recognizing and Respecting Different Personalities 64

Two Parents, Two Views 65

Balancing Acceptance and Demands 66

Different Genders 67

Learning Styles 68

The Danger of "Good" and "Bad" 68

Behavior Snapshot 70

Important Points to Consider 70

Chapter 8 Mindful Parental Authority 73

Modeling Behavior for Your Child 74

Being Deliberate in Your Choices 74

Talking the Talk and Walking the Walk (Being a Mentor) 76

Ways You Communicate Authority 77

Behavior Snapshot 78

Important Points to Consider 79

Chapter 9 Raising Responsible Children 81

Two Elements 82

Teaching Responsible Behavior 83

A Model for Teaching Responsible Behavior 84

Teaching Responsibility 85

Teaching Two-Step Thinking 87

The Choice/Consequence Connection 88

Casting off Responsibility 90

Counting and Earning Systems 91

Behavior Snapshot 92

Important Points to Consider 92

Chapter 10 Guidance: The First Factor 93

The Power of Persuasion 94

Partnering with Your Child 95

Giving Constructive Feedback about Performance 97

Sharing about Yourself 98

Behavior Snapshot 100

Important Points to Consider 100

Chapter 11 Supervision: The Second Factor 101

Good Parents Never Give Up 102

The Power of Pursuit 102

Be Relentless, but Not Emotional 104

Surveillance 105

Balancing Time Alone 107

The Messy Room 109

Resisting Schoolwork 111

The Power of Supervision 113

Behavior Snapshot 115

Important Points to Consider 115

Chapter 12 Punishment: The Third Factor 117

Violence Teaches Violence 118

Good Parents Never Back Off 118

The Power of Enforcement 120

The Limits of Punishment 124

External and Natural Consequences 125

Isolation As Punishment 126

Deprivation As Punishment 127

Reparation As Punishment 129

The Negative Attention Trap 130

Behavior Snapshot 131

Important Points to Consider 132

Chapter 13 Exchange Points: The Fourth Factor 133

Good Parents Get As Well As Give 134

The Power of Mutuality 135

Predictable Behaviors in Parents 136

Taking Back the Initiative 137

Being Part of the Family 138

Behavior Snapshot 139

Important Points to Consider 140

Chapter 14 Discipline Changes with Age 141

Early Childhood (Up to Age Three) 142

Late Childhood (Ages Four to Eight) 143

Transition Into Adolescence (Ages Nine to Ten) 144

Early and Midadolescence (Ages Nine to Fifteen) 145

Late Adolescence (Ages Fifteen to Eighteen) 146

Trial Independence (Ages Eighteen to Twenty-Three) 148

Once a Parent, Always a Parent 149

Behavior Snapshot 149

Important Points to Consider 150

Chapter 15 Disciplining the Teenager 151

Parenting the Teenager 152

The Problem of Hurry-Up Growth 153

Readjusting Expectations 154

The Four Stages of Adolescence 156

Substance Abuse and Informing Your Child 158

The Freedom Contract 163

Behavior Snapshot 164

Important Points to Consider 165

Chapter 16 Constructive Conflict 167

Why Conflict Is Necessary 168

The Nature of Conflict 169

The Dance of Conflict 171

Tactics to Avoid 172

Rules for Family Conflict 176

Behavior Snapshot 178

Important Points to Consider 179

Chapter 17 Early Adolescence (Ages Nine to Thirteen) 181

Signs of Early Adolescence 182

Understanding Insecurity and Low Self-Esteem 183

Separation from Childhood 186

The Negative Attitude 188

Recognizing Rebellion 190

Early Experimentation 192

Behavior Snapshot 194

Important Points to Consider 195

Chapter 18 Midadolescence (Ages Thirteen To Fifteen) 197

Your Adolescent's Worldview 198

Relationship Strains and Maintaining a Positive Perspective 200

Connecting Through the Shell of Self-Centeredness 201

Modeling Responsibility When Your Child Avoids It 202

The Battle Against Authority 203

Communicating with Your Teen 203

The Power of Peers 204

Adolescent Lies 206

Behavior Snapshot 209

Important Points to Consider 209

Chapter 19 Late Adolescence (Ages Fifteen to Eighteen) and Beyond 211

The Learning Curve of High School 212

Driving a Car 213

Holding a Part-Time Job 215

The Teen Social Scene 216

The Culture of Sex 218

Sexual Gaming 219

Romantic Relationships 221

What to Say about Having Sex 222

Preparing for Independence 223

Trial Independence (Ages Eighteen to Twenty-Three) 225

Behavior Snapshot 227

Important Points to Consider 228

Appendix A Helpful Websites 229

Appendix B Additional Resources 231

Index 233