The Confidence Gap: A Guide to Overcoming Fear and Self-Doubt

by Russ Harris, Steven Hayes PhD (Foreword by)

Overview

Drawing on Acceptance and Commitment Therapy and mindfulness practices, this guide offers breakthrough insights and simple techniques for developing deep-seated, long-lasting confidence

Too many of us miss out on opportunities in life because we lack self-confidence. Whether it’s public speaking, taking on a leadership role, or asking someone for a date, there are situations in which we just don't feel equipped to handle the challenges we face. 

Russ Harris offers a surprising solution to low self-confidence, shyness, and insecurity: Rather than trying to “get over” our fears, he says, the secret is to form a new and wiser relationship with them. Paradoxically, it’s only when we stop struggling against our fearfulness that we begin to find lasting freedom from it. 

Drawing on the techniques of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), a cutting-edge form of cognitive-behavioral therapy, The Confidence Gap explains how to:  

• Free yourself from common misconceptions about what confidence is and how to build it 
• Transform your relationship with fear and anxiety 
• Clarify your core values and use them as your inspiration and motivation 
• Use mindfulness to effectively handle negative thoughts and feelings.
 
“This book could save you years of psychological struggle, yank you out of negative emotional patterns, and help propel you to a much happier, more productive life.” —Martha Beck, author and Oprah Winfrey’s life coach

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9781590309230
Publisher:	Shambhala
Publication date:	09/13/2011
Pages:	240
Sales rank:	94,769
Product dimensions:	8.92(w) x 5.98(h) x 0.76(d)

About the Author

Dr. Russ Harris is a physician, therapist, and speaker specializing in stress management. He travels nationally and internationally to train individuals and health professionals in the techniques of ACT. Born and educated in England, he now lives in Australia. For more information, visit actmindfully.com.au.

Table of Contents

Foreword Steven Hayes, PhD ix

Introduction: A Daring Adventure, or Nothing 1

Part 1 Warming Up

1 Why Bother? 13

2 The Good Old Days 34

3 True or False? 40

Part 2 The double-edged sword

4 It Ain't Necessarily So 49

5 Off the Hook 61

6 Never Short of Words 79

7 The Self-Esteem Trap 89

8 The Rules of Engagement 100

9 Smell the Roses 113

10 Psychological Smog 118

Part 3 What gets you going?

11 Fueling Up 131

12 The Success Trap 145

13 Magic Glue 151

Part 4 Taming your fear

14 The Fear Trap 163

15 Plenty of Space 171

16 Riding a Wild Stallion 183

Part 5 Playing the Game

17 Throw Off the Bowlines 190

18 What's Stopping You? 201

19 The Motivation Trap 210

20 The Power of Self-Acceptance 217

21 Getting Better 226

22 Reach the Peak 235

23 It Ain't Over Till It's Over 242

Acknowledgments 249

References 250

Resources 252

Index 254

Editorial Reviews

Self-doubt is the worst kind of paralysis because it is self-inflicted. If we learn our limitations too soon or too well, we never master our powers. Russ Harris' Confidence Gap tackles a problem perhaps even more persuasive than vanity. Using mindfulness-based techniques and cognitive-behavioral therapy, it dismantles the walls of fear that we ourselves have created. A viable way of defeating self-defeat.

Harris, an Australia-based physician, therapist, and lecturer on stress management, reiterates and expands on concepts from his earlier book, The Happiness Trap. Here he focuses on the techniques of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), a cognitive-behavioral treatment created by Steve Hayes in the 1980s. Harris applies it to helping readers learn to play the "confidence game." People in the confidence gap may desire a romantic relationship or want to find a better job, but when fear surfaces, they don't take action. Offering a solution to insecurities, shyness, and low self-confidence, Harris blends personal anecdotes, insights, and exercises to show readers how to get more out of life by overcoming their self-defeating patterns. For instance, he says, first, one must act with confidence; the feeling of confidence will follow. After showing readers how to "tame" their fear," Harris reviews strategies that lead to psychological flexibility and concludes with bringing the new skills together for ongoing success and peak performance. Newcomers to behavioral cognitive therapy and ACT may well find Harris's intriguing ideas of value. (Sept.)

Publishers Weekly

This book could save you years of psychological struggle, yank you out of negative emotional patterns, and help propel you to a much happier, more productive life.”—Martha Beck, author of Finding Your Own North Star

“An exciting alternative to the usual approach of so many self-help books. Harris explains how we can work with ourselves as we are, rather than aggressively trying to alter ourselves. I’m impressed by the simple and effective methods of ACT.”—David Richo, PhD, author of How to Be an Adult in Relationships

“One of the most hopeful (and helpful) messages we can take away from this book is this: we can learn to do the things that matter, even when our minds say it’s not possible.”—Spirituality & Health

From the Publisher

According to Harris (The Happiness Trap), confidence is a skillful psychological game and knowing the right rules will help develop genuine, lasting self-confidence. He proposes an approach known as A-C-T, or Acceptance and Commitment Training, which involves the practice of mindfulness, defusion, expansion, and engagement. Essentially, he advocates accepting one's thoughts and feelings, choosing a valued direction, and then taking mindful action. One needs to practice all of the above until the process becomes second nature. The advice seems sound, but readers have to wade through a lot of text to discover the nuggets of value. Unexceptional.

Library Journal