Table of Contents
Contents Drawings and Paintings xvAbbreviations xviiiMap of Spain xx“Upheld by Him”: A Saint in the Making Sr. María Gonzalo-García, OCSO xxiA Note on the Translation Catherine Addington liiiI. All the World Can Give: Early Years and Vocational Discernment1. To Rafael Arnaiz Sánchez de la Campa. April 2, 1921 42. To Rafael Arnaiz Sánchez de la Campa. June 23, 1930 53. Postcards from Salamanca. July 12, 1930 94. To Mercedes Barón Torres. July 18, 1930 105. To Leopoldo Barón. October 11, 1930 116. To María Osorio. March 15, 1931 177. Impressions of La Trapa. September 1931 208. To Rosa Calvo. January 10, 1932 269. To Luis Fernando Arnaiz Barón. November 4, 1932 2910. To Rafael Arnaiz Sánchez de la Campa and Mercedes Barón Torres. October 21, 1933 3711. Rafael’s Daily Schedule in Madrid. October 1933 4212. To Dom Félix Alonso García. November 19, 1933 4313. Dedication of a Holy Card to Leopoldo Barón. November 22, 1933 45 14. To Rafael Arnaiz Sánchez de la Campa and Mercedes Barón Torres. November 28, 1933 4615. To Fr. Marcelo León. December 3, 1933 4916. To Fernanda Torres. December 7, 1933 5217. To Fr. Marcelo León. December 8, 1933 5418. To Fernanda Torres. December 10, 1933 5619. To Fr. Marcelo León. December 17, 1933 5920. To Leopoldo Barón. December 17, 1933 6221. To Fr. Marcelo León. January 1, 1934 6522. To Dom Félix Alonso García. January 9, 1934 6823. To María Osorio and Leopoldo Barón. January 12, 1934 6924. Dedication of a Little Office to Mercedes Barón Torres. January 14, 1934 7125. Dedication of a Holy Card to Mercedes Barón Torres. January 14, 1934 72 II. A Heart Filled with Joy and Love: Joining the Monastery26. To Mercedes Barón Torres. January 16, 1934 7427. To Rafael Arnaiz Sánchez de la Campa and Mercedes Barón Torres. January 23, 1934 7628. To Rafael Arnaiz Sánchez de la Campa and Mercedes Barón Torres. January 24, 1934 7829. To Mercedes Barón Torres. January 29, 1934 8030. To Mercedes Barón Torres. January 30, 1934 8331. To Mercedes Barón Torres. February 18, 1934 8732. To Rafael Arnaiz Sánchez de la Campa. February 19, 1934 9033. To Rafael Arnaiz Sánchez de la Campa and Mercedes Barón Torres. April 1, 1934 9334. To Rafael Arnaiz Sánchez de la Campa. April 8, 1934 101 III. I Thought That God Was Abandoning Me: Struck by Illness35. To Leopoldo Barón. June 3, 1934 10636. To Fr. Marcelo León. June 11, 1934 109 37. To Leopoldo Barón. June 17, 1934 11338. Dedication of a Holy Card of Saint Thérèse of the Child Jesus to Ramón Vallaure. July 7, 1934 11839. To Fr. Marcelo León. July 22, 1934 11940. To María Osorio. July 23, 1934 12341. To Fernanda Torres. August 9, 1934 13342. To Fr. Marcelo León. August 11, 1934 13443. To Leopoldo Barón. August 12, 1934 13744. To W. Marino del Hierro. August 15, 1934 14145. To W. Marino del Hierro. August 20, 1934 14546. To W. Marino del Hierro. September 2, 1934 15047. To Fr. Vicente Pardo. September 3, 1934 15448. To Fr. Francisco Díez. September 15, 1934 15649. To Rosa Calvo. September 15, 1934 15950. To W. Marino del Hierro. September 18, 1934 16351. The Trappist’s Apologia. September 19, 1934 16752. To W. Marino del Hierro. September 29, 1934 18253. To Fernanda Torres. September 30, 1934 18654. To Fr. Marcelo León. October 2, 1934 19255. To Rafael Arnaiz Sánchez de la Campa. October 24, 1934 19456. Literary Notes. October 25, 1934 19657. To Mercedes Barón Torres. November 12, 1934 19758. To Leopoldo Arnaiz Barón. November 14, 1934 19959. To Rafael Arnaiz Sánchez de la Campa and Mercedes Barón Torres. November 19, 1934 20060. Dedication of a Holy Card to Fr. Buenaventura Ramos Caballero. November 21, 1934 20261. To Fr. Marcelo León. February 21, 1935 20362. To Rafael Arnaiz Sánchez de la Campa. September 24, 1935 20663. To Leopoldo Barón. October 1935 210 IV. Shaped in His Hands: A Path of Oblation64. To Dom Félix Alonso García. October 9, 1935 21465. To Leopoldo Barón. October 1935 22166. To Leopoldo Barón. October 1935 22367. Dedication of a Holy Card to Dolores Barón Osorio. October 25, 1935 22468. Dedication of a Holy Card to María Osorio. October 27, 1935 22569. To Dom Félix Alonso García. November 7, 1935 22670. To María Osorio. November 8, 1935 22871. To María Osorio. November 11, 1935 23572. To María Osorio. November 16, 1935 23973. To María Osorio. November 18, 1935 25174. To Leopoldo Barón. November 22, 1935 25775. To María Osorio. November 22, 1935 26076. To María Osorio. November 26, 1935 27177. To María Osorio. November 27, 1935 27578. To María Osorio. December 1, 1935 28879. Notes Written by Rafael in His Copy of the Little Office of the Blessed Virgin Mary. Second Half of 1935 29480. Dedication of a Little Office to his Mother, Mercedes Barón Torres. December 2, 1935 29581. To María Osorio. December 4, 1935 29682. To Leopoldo Barón. December 5, 1935 30283. Dedication of a Holy Card to María Osorio. December 5, 1935 30484. To María Osorio. December 7, 1935 30685. To María Osorio. December 10, 1935 31186. To María Osorio. December 15, 1935 32287. To Leopoldo Barón. December 16, 1935 32888. To Fernanda Torres. December 17, 1935 333 89. To María Osorio. December 20, 1935 33590. To María Osorio. December 24, 1935 34691. Dedication of a Holy Card to Br. Jesús Sandoval. December 25, 1935 34892. To María Osorio. December 26, 1935 34993. To María Osorio. December 27, 1935 35494. To María Osorio. December 29, 1935 36195. To Fr. José Olmedo. January 3, 1936 36796. To W. Marino del Hierro. January 3, 1936 36997. To María Osorio. January 3, 1936 37098. To María Osorio. January 4, 1936 37399. To José Olmedo. January 7, 1936 379100. Dedication of a Holy Card to Mercedes Barón Torres. January 9, 1936 380101. Dedication of a Holy Card to Leopoldo Barón. January 10, 1936 381 V. The Circus Clown: The Last One in the Community102. To Rafael Arnaiz Sánchez de la Campa. January 14, 1936 384103. To Rafael Arnaiz Sánchez de la Campa. February 9, 1936 386104. To Rafael Arnaiz Sánchez de la Campa. February 18, 1936 396105. To María Osorio. February 23, 1936 398106. To Leopoldo Barón. April 17, 1936 405107. Dedication of a Holy Card to Leopoldo Barón. June 14, 1936 411108. Meditations of a Trappist: How Great God Is! July 12, 1936 412109. Meditations of a Trappist: Knowing How to Wait. July 12, 1936 415110. Meditations of a Trappist: A Worldly Youth. July 19, 1936 416111. Meditations of a Trappist: What Will Happen in Spain? July 19, 1936 420 112. Meditations of a Trappist: “The Nations Are in an Uproar.” July 24, 1936 422113. Meditations of a Trappist: The Circus Clown. July 24, 1936 425114. Meditations of a Trappist: Silence. July 25, 1936 426115. Meditations of a Trappist: The Day Goes By. July 25, 1936 428116. Meditations of a Trappist: The Hour of Vespers. July 25, 1936 430117. Meditations of a Trappist: How to Be Happy. July 26, 1936 433118. Meditations of a Trappist: Viaticum. July 27, 1936 436119. Meditations of a Trappist: Not Knowing How to Cut Grass. July 29, 1936 438120. Meditations of a Trappist: The Sea in Fair Weather. July 30, 1936 440121. Meditations of a Trappist: How Great Is the Mercy of God! August 1, 1936 442122. Meditations of a Trappist: The Tower Bells. August 2, 1936 444123. Meditations of a Trappist: Spain Is at War. August 2, 1936 446124. Meditations of a Trappist: Life Is a Struggle. August 3, 1936 449125. Meditations of a Trappist: Tying Sheaves. August 3, 1936 451126. Meditations of a Trappist: No News from the World. August 4, 1936 453127. Meditations of a Trappist: On Our Way to Work. August 5, 1936 454128. Meditations of a Trappist: You Don’t Just Come and Conquer. August 5, 1936 457129. Meditations of a Trappist: The Pears in the Grove. August 6, 1936 459130. Meditations of a Trappist: You Alone. August 8, 1936 461131. To Leopoldo Barón. August 30, 1936 464132. To Rafael Arnaiz Sánchez de la Campa. September 13, 1936 468133. To Luis Fernando Arnaiz Barón. September 13, 1936 471 VI. A Deer That Thirsts: The Interior Trappist134. To Mercedes Barón. October 18, 1936 474135. To Rafael Arnaiz Sánchez de la Campa and Mercedes Barón. November 14, 1936 477136. My Notebook. December 8, 1936 479137. My Notebook: “As a Deer Longs for Flowing Streams.” December 9, 1936 481138. My Notebook: Solitude. December 11, 1936 486139. My Notebook: The Antics of the Turnips. December 12, 1936 490140. My Notebook: Hidden. December 14, 1936 494141. My Notebook: Freedom. December 15, 1936 497142. My Notebook: “Raise Your Heads, because Your Redemption Is Drawing Near.” December 22, 1936 502143. My Notebook: Pax! December 23, 1936 507144. My Notebook: Meditation. December 27, 1936 508145. My Notebook: “Laudate Dominum omnes gentes.” December 30, 1936 510146. My Notebook: Happy New Year!! January 1, 1937 514147. My Notebook: Just God and Me. January 4, 1937 516148. My Notebook: “Wise Men from the East Came to Jerusalem, Asking, Where Is the One Who Has Been Born, Whose Star We Have Observed?” January 6, 1937 518149. My Notebook: A War in the World. January 8, 1937 521150. My Notebook: “The Lord Gave, and the Lord Has Taken Away.” January 10, 1937 523151. My Notebook: The View from My Window. January 13, 1937 528152. My Notebook: The Wind. January 15, 1937 531153. My Notebook: My Notebook. January 18, 1937 532154. My Notebook: Meditation on a Passage from Kempis. January 20, 1937 535 155. My Notebook: My Pencil. January 22, 1937 540156. My Notebook: Simplicity and Openness. January 25, 1937 542157. My Notebook: My Heaven on Earth. January 28, 1937 545158. My Notebook: “Fiat.” February 6, 1937 546 VII. Foolishness for Christ: In the World Once Again159. To Leopoldo Barón. March 18, 1937 550160. To María Osorio. May 8, 1937 553161. To María Osorio. September 3, 1937 562162. To Leopoldo Barón. September 25, 1937 566163. To Leopoldo Barón. September 26, 1937 574164. To Leopoldo Barón. October 11, 1937 580165. To Leopoldo Torres. October 30, 1937 585166. To Toribio Luis (Br. Tescelino) Arribas. November 1, 1937 589167. To Fr. Francisco Díez. November 29, 1937 594168. To Toribio Luis (Br. Tescelino) Arribas. December 1, 1937 596169. To Toribio Luis (Br. Tescelino) Arribas. 1937 602 VIII. It Is Love . . . : The Ultimate Sacrifice of Praise170. God and My Soul. December 16, 1937 606171. God and My Soul: Everything I Do Is because of God. December 21, 1937 608172. God and My Soul: Take It All, Lord! December 26, 1937 609173. God and My Soul: Perseverance in Prayer. December 29, 1937 611174. God and My Soul: Humility. December 31, 1937 612175. God and My Soul: My Vow. January 1, 1938 613176. To Mercedes Barón. January 6, 1938 615177. God and My Soul: My Will Is Yours, Lord! January 6, 1938 619178. God and My Soul: “The Greatest Penance Is Community Life.” January 7, 1938 620179. God and My Soul: Teach Me, Lord, to Love Your Cross. January 31, 1938 621 180. God and My Soul: How Good You Are, Lord; You Love Me So Much. February 5, 1938 623181. God and My Soul: The Greatest Consolation Is to Have None at All. February 12, 1938 626182. God and My Soul: Living United to Your Cross. February 13, 1938 629183. To Rafael Arnaiz Sánchez de la Campa. February 14, 1938 632184. God and My Soul: You, Lord, Are My Hope. February 18, 1938 634185. God and My Soul: I Desire Only You and Your Cross. February 23, 1938 637186. God and My Soul: “I Am the Resurrection and the Life.” February 26, 1938 640187. God and My Soul: I Offered My Life to the Lord. February 27, 1938 643188. God and My Soul: “How Long, O Lord?” March 4, 1938 646189. God and My Soul: Jesus Is Where I Belong! March 7, 1938 649190. God and My Soul: Nothing That Comes to an End Is of Great Value. March 8, 1938 651191. God and My Soul: Virgin Mary, I Offer You My Will. March 9, 1938 653192. Dedication of a Holy Card to Br. Damián Yáñez. March 9, 1938 654193. God and My Soul: Lord, How Hard It Is to Live! March 13, 1938 655194. God and My Soul: To Die for Jesus and Mary. March 19, 1938 659195. God and My Soul: I Am So Tired, Lord! March 20, 1938 662196. God and My Soul: A Visit with His Brother Luis Fernando. March 25, 1938 665197. God and My Soul: A Little Piece of His Cross. March 28, 1938 668198. God and My Soul: When Will You Begin? April 1, 1938 670 199. God and My Soul: Relishing the Cross. April 3, 1938 671200. God and My Soul: How Good It Is to Lve Close to the Cross of Christ! April 7, 1938 675201. God and My Soul: Palm Sunday. April 10, 1938 678202. God and My Soul: Holy Tuesday. April 12, 1938 682203. God and My Soul: Holy Wednesday. April 13, 1938 686204. God and My Soul: Holy Thursday. April 14, 1938 688205. To Toribio Luis (Br. Tescelino) Arribas. April 15, 1938 690206. God and My Soul: Easter Sunday. April 17, 1938 693207. To Leopoldo Arnaiz Barón. April 17, 1938 694208. Chapter of Faults 698 IX. Never Stop Looking to the Heights: Prayers and Other Undated Passages209. Passages from Notes I 700210. Passages from Notes II 701211. Passages from Notes III 704212. A Prayer in Time of War 706213. Dedication of a Holy Card to María Osorio 708214. Dedication of a Holy Card to Rosa Calvo 709215. Loose Paper Written in Pencil 710216. Note in Rafael’s Bible 711217. Gloss on Psalm 6 712218. Dedication of a Holy Card to Fernando Barón Osorio 713219. Dedication of a Holy Card 714Addressees 715Time Line 717Photographs 719Bibliography 725