The Coldest Winter I Ever Spent

by Ann Jacobus

Overview

Eighteen-year-old Del is in a healthier place than she was a year and a half ago: She’s sober, getting treatment for her depression and anxiety, and volunteering at a suicide-prevention hotline. Her own suicide attempt is in the past, and living in San Francisco with her beloved aunt has helped her see a future for herself.

But when Aunt Fran is diagnosed with terminal cancer, Del’s equilibrium is shattered. She’s dedicated herself to saving every life she can, but she can’t save Fran. All she can do is help care for her aunt and try to prepare herself for the inevitable—while also dealing with a crush, her looming first semester at college, and her shifts at the crisis line.

After Aunt Fran asks for her help with a mind-boggling final request, Del must confront her own demons and rethink everything she thought she knew about life and death.

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9781728423951
Publisher:	Lerner Publishing Group
Publication date:	03/07/2023
Pages:	352
Sales rank:	1,080,939
Product dimensions:	5.70(w) x 8.30(h) x 1.40(d)
Age Range:	13 - 14 Years

About the Author

Ann Jacobus writes children's and YA fiction, teaches writing, and volunteers on a suicide crisis line. She's published short fiction, essays, and poetry in anthologies, journals, and magazines, and is the author of YA thriller Romancing the Dark in the City of Light, and YA novel The Coldest Winter I Ever Spent coming in spring, 2023. San Francisco is home to her and her family.

Editorial Reviews

01/30/2023

After she attempted to take her own life before this book’s start, 18-year-old Del finally feels things are getting back on track. She’s living in San Francisco with her beloved aunt Fran, volunteering at a suicide-prevention hotline, attending meetings for her alcohol dependency, and taking medication to manage her anxiety and depression. Del is excited for the arrival of her crush and family friend Nick, a premed college student with retinitis pigmentosa who’s visiting San Francisco for a summer internship at UC Berkeley. She had hoped to pursue a relationship with him, and she’s gutted when he tells her he just wants to be friends. Her life is further upended when she learns that Aunt Fran has terminal cancer and plans to enter hospice at home. With intensely emotional and honest prose, Jacobus (Romancing the Dark in the City of Light) conveys Del’s inner turmoil and longing for relief from the constant pain and fear of death she believes haunt her life. The narrative’s overall tone can sometimes read as unrelentingly melancholy; supportive health coordinators and mentors help Del confront her fears and find a new appreciation for life in this hopeful read. Characters default to white. Ages 13–up. Agent: Erzsi Deàk, Hen&ink Literary Studio. (Mar.)

Publishers Weekly

"[T]his book takes readers on a bittersweet, hard-hitting journey with Del as she tackles more than an 18-year-old should. Jacobus expertly covers numerous tough subjects."–School Library Journal

From the Publisher

04/01/2023

Gr 10 Up—Del's suicide attempt is in the past. Now she is sober, getting help for her depression and anxiety, and working in a crisis center helping others with suicidal tendencies. However, her world is turned upside down when Aunt Fran, with whom she has been living in San Francisco, is diagnosed with cancer. Now Del must care for herself and her aunt, preparing for what's to come and what it means for her mental health. Taking place over five months in 2015, this book takes readers on a bittersweet, hard-hitting journey with Del as she tackles more than an 18-year-old should. Jacobus expertly covers numerous tough subjects, from Del's addiction, and mental health, to Fran's inevitable death from cancer. There isn't any sugarcoating regarding these topics, making it a challenging read for some. Those who can handle the issues will only put the book down when they need a moment to process them. A note to readers provides information on whom to contact if one has thoughts of suicide. The back of the book contains discussion questions and a note from the author on her own experience with the subjects in her book. Characters cue as white. VERDICT Numerous triggering topics can make this a book to hand-sell—purchase where readers look for books with tough subjects.—Amanda Borgia

School Library Journal

2022-12-14
An 18-year-old cares for her terminally ill aunt while she manages her own sobriety and depression.

Del lives with her endearing Aunt Fran in San Francisco. Her deceased mom was bipolar, and her dad, emotionally removed from his family, works in London. Del plans on college in September, but as of June 2015, she’s working at her aunt’s art gallery, volunteering for a suicide prevention hotline, and creating collages. In a brutally honest, first-person narrative, Del describes her ongoing battle with depression, her past substance abuse, and her suicide attempt at boarding school. Now she attends Alcoholics Anonymous meetings and takes her meds. She also wants a relationship with childhood friend Nick. But this summer will test her ability to cope with her difficult life: Nick’s retinitis pigmentosa is worse, he doesn’t immediately reciprocate her romantic feelings, and Aunt Fran, in remission from breast cancer, is diagnosed with terminal colon cancer. Del becomes her caregiver, but when Fran brings up assisted suicide, Del must examine her own feelings about it. The difficult subject matter is expressed in forthright language; teens interested in mental and physical health will closely follow Del’s interactions with her family, fellow AA attendees, Nick, the crisis line callers, and Fran’s hospice coordinator, who helps Del understand the place of death within human existence. San Francisco forms a strong backdrop to this thought-provoking novel. Main characters read White.

Honestly and courageously explores sensitive topics. (content warning, suicide resource, author’s note, discussion questions) (Fiction. 13-18)

Kirkus Reviews