Table of Contents
Dedication v
Introduction i
Why? i
About This Book viii
How to Use This Book xii
Chapter 1 The Lessons Never Stop 1
Reflections 7
Chapter 2 Know Your Dragons 9
What Is Codependency? 11
Early Development 14
Avoiding Shame 16
The Codependent/Narcissistic Dynamic 17
Chapter 3 How NOT to Develop Codependency 19
Chapter 4 The Root Causes of Codependency 22
Overt Abuse 22
Covert Abuse 24
Parentification 25
Amanda's Story 27
Jessica's Story 28
John's Story 31
Codependent Parents 34
Alcoholism, Instability and Unpredictability 36
Chapter 5 My Codependent Story 38
Reflection - How Codependent Are You? 44
Chapter 6 Personal and Universal Consequences of Codependency 50
An Indifferent Universe Run by Patterns 54
Reflections 58
Chapter 7 Patterns 61
How Patterns Form 61
The Comfort of Patterns 64
The Most Important Thing to Teach Our Children 66
The Effect of Patterns 68
Patterns Across the Generations 70
Reflections 76
Chapter 8 The Miracle of Human Awareness 78
Thinking About the Way We Think 79
A Sliver of Light 81
Reflections 83
Chapter 9 Healing 86
What Is It to Heal? 86
Awareness 87
Acceptance 91
Accountability 94
Transcending the Ego 95
Helping Others to Heal 97
Patricia's Story 99
Accountability to the Inner Child 100
Reflections 101
Chapter 10 Practices 103
Daily Practices 104
Healthy Rules 106
Setting Boundaries 107
Exercise - Who Am I? 110
Exercise - Pleased to Meet You 112
The Importance of Your Desires 113
Exercise - Daily Desires 114
Exercise - Weekly Desires 114
Exercise - Once a Month 114
Exercise - My Plan for the Next 12 Months 115
Exercise - The Three-Year Plan 115
Exercise - Goals For My Well-Being 117
Exercise - Financial YOU 118
Exercise - Physical YOU 120
Exercise - Relationship Goals 121
Exercise - Career Goals 123
Exercise - My Legacy to Humanity 124
External Boundaries 125
Exercise - Create a Boundary Checklist 125
Letting Go 126
Exercise - Letting Go List 127
Letting Go of Control 128
Exercise - Shifting Your Awareness 131
Taking Responsibility 132
The 1-2-3 Process 132
Exercise - Responsibility Check-in 135
Building Personal Integrity 135
The Power of Truth 138
Exercise - Finding Your Personal Truth 139
Exercise - Tackling Roadblocks 140
Setting Intentions 141
Daily Intentions 144
Your Mission Statement 145
What's Your Plan 146
Epilogue 148
Further Reading 152