The Bulgarian Training Manual

by Ruth Bonapace

Overview

The Bulgarian Training Manual is a comic novel that tells the story of Tina in her quest to find her true parents and jeans that fit.

With the help of a mysterious book with magical powers, Tina makes her way from her waterlogged apartment in Hoboken, New Jersey, to an Oz-like journey to Bulgaria and back. Our heroine is the catalyst for a final contest that is part body-builder pose-off and part poetry slam. 

The novel is a sly and comic look at self-improvement, our self-doubts and fervent dreams, and our endless internal yammering. Those who follow The Bulgarian Training Manual add more than muscle. They become poets.

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9781960988102
Publisher:	CLASH Books
Publication date:	06/04/2024
Pages:	266
Sales rank:	625,314
Product dimensions:	6.00(w) x 9.00(h) x 0.80(d)

About the Author

Ruth Bonapace earned her MFA from Stony Brook Universityafter a career in journalism, including two years covering sports she loathes like the NFL but never The New York Yankees, which she adores. Her work has appeared in many publications including The New York Times, Newsday, The Southampton Review, and The Saturday Evening Post. She is a two-time finalist in the annual American Writer’s Review. Born in Brooklyn and raised in the burbs, she is a former New York State Agriculture Writer of the Year, who turned down a job with The American Dairy Association. This is her first novel.

Read an Excerpt

Big Steve. Over there at the squat rack. Quiet. Keeps to himself. But let me tell you, that guy, he used to be one mother-fucking dude. Totally shit-faced, all the time. Tree-hugger. Hypochondriac. Gourmand of organically grown hallucinogens. Yeah, he was something else. He was also my boyfriend, sort of. We’d hook up. Smoke weed. Hang out. Chill. You get the picture.

Editorial Reviews

06/24/2024

Bonapace debuts with a bold if messy narrative of a woman’s obsessive quest for self-improvement. Cristina Bontempi, nicknamed Tina, is a struggling New Jersey realtor who spends a lot of time at the gym. Big Steve, her fellow gym rat and friend with benefits, hands Tina the eponymous workout guide and swears her to secrecy. Intrigued, Tina sets out to uncover the origins of the book, which purports to hold the secrets of Bulgaria’s strongest powerlifters. A series of strange encounters ensues, as Tina comes into contact with the Congregation of Benedictine Sisters of Perpetual Adoration, a shady outfit selling dangerously addictive communion wafers, and with a man wearing a shearling hat who follows her everywhere. Tina’s quest eventually leads her to Bulgaria, where she learns more about the book, and the narrative heads toward a hilarious climax involving a gangster gym syndicate and Tina’s launch of a Poetry Body Slam (“I can do this. We can do this. For every goddamn soul whose Lava Lamp dreams have been dimmed but not exploded,” she declares). While the pacing is sometimes slowed by excessive flashbacks, Tina’s zany voice offers plenty of laugh-out-loud moments. This is a whimsical delight. (June)

Publishers Weekly

"This is a whimsical delight." —PUBLISHERS WEEKLY

"An absurd romp through modern culture with a disarmingly appealing protagonist."—Kirkus Reviews

"Bonapace tells this yarn with glee, careening between genres and pop culture references, swinging at fitness culture and self-improvement all the way." —ELLE

“One could say many things about Ruth Bonapace’s The Bulgarian Training Manual – that it’s a ‘romp,’ a ‘hoot,’ a ‘wild ride,’ a ‘pumped picaresque,’ etc. And they’d all be true. (I’d like to add that it’s the first book that ever made me see jacked biceps and six-pack abs as Freudian conversion symptoms.). Tina Acqualina, our narrator, idles high, ever alive to the world around her, deploying a homemade lingo that crackles like a cheek full of cinnamon chewing gum. One is gripped by this voice, in its clutches. What Emily Dickenson did for metaphysical conjecture, Bonapace (via Acqualina) does for obstreperous attention-seeking. For anyone who’s ever entered a gym (or a bar or a real estate office or a Walmart or a church, for that matter) and asked oneself, amid the clanking and grunting and preening, is all this just some vain and ultimately meaningless exercise in pure narcissism or is there some deeper psychological, sociocultural or spiritual significance at play here? Bonapace gleefully answers: Yes and Yes!” —Mark Leyner, NYT bestselling author of Why Do Men Have Nipples and Et tu, Babe

“The Bulgarian Training Manual is inventive, surreal, and powered by the unexpected. With her lively debut novel, Ruth Bonapace takes the reader all kinds of places.” —Meg Wolitzer,  NYT best-selling author of The Interestings and The Wife

“This is a joyfully freakish story held aloft and borne along with the strength and dazzle of the legendary strongmen and strongwomen at its heart. Tina is a loud, raucous and unapologetic heroine of New Jersey and her stream-of-consciousness rings refreshingly true to life. I kept waiting for the ambitious arc of the narrative to deflate but Ruth Bonapace never wavered from her headlong rush forward . . . If it were a movie it would be independent, washed in acid colors and have a cult fan base with their own secret bicep-curl handshake.” —Helen Simonson, NYT best-seller author of Major Pettigrew’s Last Stand and The Summer Before the War

“The Bulgarian Training Manual is a comic novel that tells the story of blue-collar Tina Acqualina Bontempi’s quest to find her true parents and jeans that fit. With the help of a mysterious book with magical powers, Tina makes her way from her waterlogged apartment in Hoboken to a mind-bending visit to Bulgaria and back. Our heroine is the catalyst for a final contest that is part bodybuilder pose-off and part poetry slam. The novel is a sly look at self-improvement.” —Robert Reeves, founding Director of Stony Brook Southampton MFA program and publisher of The Southhampton Review

“I just love the idea of The Bulgarian Training Manual that changes people’s lives, with its hair-brained nutrition plans and strange suggestions for athletic improvement. The back-story and sub-plot of the great Eastern European strength performers is just wonderful, and hilarious. Based on careful research, the fact that these forebears of the secrets contained in The Bulgarian Training Manual were real people, only adds to the charm and the wildly absurd nature of these ‘circus performers’ lives and feats, and is worthy of a Kurt Vonnegut novel. In fact, I think he would have loved this book… This is a novel that speaks with great humor of the absurdity of our media today, and how Americans will jump on money-making schemes and fads that they believe will improve their lives.” —Kaylie Jones, author of A Soldier’s Daughter Never Cries

From the Publisher