The Book of No: 365 Ways to Say it and Mean it-and Stop People-Pleasing Forever (Updated Edition)

An updated edition of the bestselling guide!

  • Do you have problems saying "No?"
  • Do people always turn to you for a favor?
  • Wonder how you get roped into things you really don't want to do-with friends or family, at work or even with pushy salespeople?
  • Refusing someone is rarely easy. Often, it's downright uncomfortable. But constantly saying "yes" causes anxiety, anger, stress, regret, and feelings of powerlessness.

    Social psychologist and author Dr. Susan Newman empowers you to break your debilitating yes habit with her simple techniques and insights. This new, enhanced edition is filled with research and timely scenarios that offer more ways to say "no" without feeling guilty or damaging your relationships.

    You'll discover how to:

  • Recognize when someone is manipulating you into "yes"
  • Be ready with the words you need to refuse
  • Avoid being overcommitted, overworked and overwhelmed
  • Put an end to feelings of resentment or frustration
  • Make quality time for things you want to do
  • Establish and keep your boundaries strong
  • Harness the power of "No" and take back your life.

    "1126320387"
    The Book of No: 365 Ways to Say it and Mean it-and Stop People-Pleasing Forever (Updated Edition)

    An updated edition of the bestselling guide!

  • Do you have problems saying "No?"
  • Do people always turn to you for a favor?
  • Wonder how you get roped into things you really don't want to do-with friends or family, at work or even with pushy salespeople?
  • Refusing someone is rarely easy. Often, it's downright uncomfortable. But constantly saying "yes" causes anxiety, anger, stress, regret, and feelings of powerlessness.

    Social psychologist and author Dr. Susan Newman empowers you to break your debilitating yes habit with her simple techniques and insights. This new, enhanced edition is filled with research and timely scenarios that offer more ways to say "no" without feeling guilty or damaging your relationships.

    You'll discover how to:

  • Recognize when someone is manipulating you into "yes"
  • Be ready with the words you need to refuse
  • Avoid being overcommitted, overworked and overwhelmed
  • Put an end to feelings of resentment or frustration
  • Make quality time for things you want to do
  • Establish and keep your boundaries strong
  • Harness the power of "No" and take back your life.

    21.99 In Stock
    The Book of No: 365 Ways to Say it and Mean it-and Stop People-Pleasing Forever (Updated Edition)

    The Book of No: 365 Ways to Say it and Mean it-and Stop People-Pleasing Forever (Updated Edition)

    The Book of No: 365 Ways to Say it and Mean it-and Stop People-Pleasing Forever (Updated Edition)

    The Book of No: 365 Ways to Say it and Mean it-and Stop People-Pleasing Forever (Updated Edition)

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    Overview

    An updated edition of the bestselling guide!

  • Do you have problems saying "No?"
  • Do people always turn to you for a favor?
  • Wonder how you get roped into things you really don't want to do-with friends or family, at work or even with pushy salespeople?
  • Refusing someone is rarely easy. Often, it's downright uncomfortable. But constantly saying "yes" causes anxiety, anger, stress, regret, and feelings of powerlessness.

    Social psychologist and author Dr. Susan Newman empowers you to break your debilitating yes habit with her simple techniques and insights. This new, enhanced edition is filled with research and timely scenarios that offer more ways to say "no" without feeling guilty or damaging your relationships.

    You'll discover how to:

  • Recognize when someone is manipulating you into "yes"
  • Be ready with the words you need to refuse
  • Avoid being overcommitted, overworked and overwhelmed
  • Put an end to feelings of resentment or frustration
  • Make quality time for things you want to do
  • Establish and keep your boundaries strong
  • Harness the power of "No" and take back your life.


    Product Details

    ISBN-13: 9781683366904
    Publisher: TURNER PUB CO
    Publication date: 12/05/2017
    Pages: 288
    Sales rank: 1,112,984
    Product dimensions: 5.50(w) x 8.40(h) x 0.80(d)

    About the Author

    Susan Newman, PhD is a social psychologist and author. Her research and writing focus on parenting and family relationship issues. She is the author of more than a dozen books and a regular contributor to Psychology Today and US News & World Report. Her work has been featured in The New York Times, USA Today, The Washington Post as well as in numerous other newspapers and national magazines. She appears on major news outlets, among them, CNN, NPR, Good Morning America, The Today Show, and CBS Sunday Morning to discuss breaking news, social trends and parenting concerns.

    Dr. Newman is a member of the American Psychological Association, the Authors Guild, and the American Society of Journalists and Authors. She is a Court-Appointed Special Advocate (CASA) for abused and neglected children.

    She lives in the New York Metro area and is the mother of one son and four stepchildren. Visit her website at www.susannewmanphd.com.

    Read an Excerpt

    Author’s Note to the Updated Edition

    Ten years after writing the first edition of The Book of NO, it still surprises me how good it feels to say no or its equivalent—“I’m on overload right now”; “That’s not going to work for me”; I’m busy that day”… More surprising is that saying no doesn’t mean the end of the world. It won’t cause my children to stop loving me, my friends to abandon me, or my colleagues to ignore me.

    In the last decade or so, however, life has started to feel like a pressure cooker, with mounting requests and demands. Technology certainly ups the potential for conflicts—people expect immediate answers. For one reason or another, most of us are busier than ever.

    One of the traps I realized is, like many people, I think I can do more than I can. Given an allotted number of hours to do everything, something’s got to give. But what? I understood that I needed to change my thinking and do a better job of setting up and guarding my boundaries, because boundaries are key to not being an inveterate people-pleaser buried in an avalanche of to-dos.

    Obviously, there will be instances when you have to or want to help out. The Book of NO was not created to justify the egomaniac who wants everything his or her way. Rather, it’s for those of us—me included—who say yes too often. It’s for people who kick themselves after agreeing to do something that, it turns out, didn’t really require their compliance.

    This edition is chock-full of new situations and research that explain why a “No” may be the best answer, and offers more ways to say it without feeling guilty or damaging a relationship. You’ll start paying more attention to what is asked, how and when it is asked, and how quickly you respond—usually too fast in an effort to please, placate or avoid hurting someone’s feelings. I have every hope that in short order you can adapt to living happily ever after with no as a staple in your vocabulary.

    The goal is to gain better command of the word “No” in handling requests for your time, talent, muscle, money, know-how or presence that pull you in too many directions and eat up precious time. The insights and examples that follow will strengthen your resolve so you have time to do more for the people and things most important to you. And that means for yourself as well.

    Table of Contents

    Author's Note xi

    Introduction xiii

    Quiz: How Much of a People-Pleaser Are You? xiv

    The Disease to Please: Why You Say Yes xv

    No: A Learned Skill xvii

    Changing Your Thinking xviii

    Setting Boundaries xix

    Putting No to Work for You xx

    1 Stepping into No: The Basics 1

    Your Go-To No Responses 3

    Buying Time 3

    When No Is Crystal Clear 12

    2 With Friends 25

    Quiz; Are Your Friendships Balanced and Beneficial? 26

    Who's a Friend? 27

    Friendship Fatigue 32

    You're Invited 43

    Out and About: Social Graces 52

    In the Neighborhood 61

    3 All in the Family 71

    Quiz: Are You the Yes-Person In Your Family? 72

    Parent and In-Law Traps 73

    Sibling Strife 92

    Those Other Relatives! 101

    No, Darling 115

    4 With Children-Park Your Guilt 129

    Quiz: How Much of a Yes-Parent Are You? 130

    "Why Parents Say Yes 131

    The Benefits of No-Parenting 132

    Training Ground: The Early Years 133

    Elementary Rules: Using No with School-Aged Children 143

    Patient Parenting: The Teen Years 155

    Parenting Is Forever: Adult Children 168

    5 At Work 177

    Quiz: Are You the Office Yes-Man (Or Woman)? 178

    High Performance versus Overload 179

    Standing Up for Yourself 189

    When You're the Boss 199

    Mixing Business with Pleasure 207

    Sticky Situations 215

    6 Really Difficult People 229

    Quiz: How Susceptible Are You to Forceful People? 230

    Selling You a Bill of Goods 231

    Getting Things Done-Your Way 244

    Out-of-the-Blue Challenges 251

    7 Your New Mind-Set 259

    Finding the Courage 259

    Saying Yes to the No Word 260

    The No Credo 263

    Bowing Out: Your New Mind-Set 264

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