The Babylon Bee Guide to Wokeness

by Babylon Bee

Overview

To show the world you're a good person—and also to avoid getting canceled and having your life ruined by a Twitter mob—you need to get WOKE. In The Babylon Bee Guide to Wokeness, the writers of satirical sensation The Babylon Bee tell you how to choose your pronouns, blame everyone else for your problems, and show the world how virtuous you are with virtue-signaling profile pictures and stunning and brave hashtags. A tongue-in-cheek guide to the far Left’s obsession with intersectional insanity, The Babylon Bee Guide to Wokeness will help you laugh at the state of our culture so you don’t cry.

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9781684512713
Publisher:	Skyhorse Publishing
Publication date:	11/02/2021
Series:	Babylon Bee Guides
Pages:	208
Sales rank:	415,546
Product dimensions:	7.10(w) x 8.90(h) x 0.60(d)

About the Author

Kyle Mann is the editor in chief of The Babylon Bee. He was created in an orc-spawning pit beneath the tower Orthanc near the end of the Third Age. Saruman the Many-Colored drew upon all his dark powers to imbue Kyle with the ability to write satire of semi-acceptable quality from time to time, and also pillage many small villages in Gondor. Kyle oversees and approves all content posted to the site and writes a good bit of it himself.

Joel Berry is The Babylon Bee’s managing editor and a deadly warrior-monk with a shadowy past. Part philosophy-quoting homeschool nerd, part Marine Corps veteran, Joel was found retired in a secluded cabin in the mountains after he swore off his old life and promised to never own a lib again. But Kyle Mann was getting a team together. He convinced Joel to come out of retirement for one final mission: to help run the world’s greatest satire site, which he’s been doing since 2016.

Table of Contents

Introduction: Welcome to the Woke Zone 1

Never been woke before? Your journey begins here.

Chapter 1 Intersectionality and Identity 9

Discover your inner oppression.

Chapter 2 Race 23

The most important thing about you is the color of your skin.

Chapter 3 Feminism and Gender 39

Pronouns, sexual orientation, and the wonderful world of making up genders.

Chapter 4 The True Story of American History 57

Learn how you were brainwashed into thinking America is an OK place.

Chapter 5 How to Be Offended by Everything 75

Discover how microaggressions and things you disagree with are literal violence.

Chapter 6 How to Make Sure Your Church Is as Woke as Jesus 85

Wokeness doesn't stop in the secular world: churches can be woke too!

Chapter 7 Follow the SCIENCE 101

The scientists are always right, and if you disagree, you are a bigot.

Chapter 8 How to Fight Fascism with Violence 115

The only way to stop the fascists is to yeet bricks at people you don't like.

Chapter 9 Fighting the Culture War 135

Use the voting booth to force your will on the rest of the population.

Chapter 10 Entertainment 151

Make sure your Netflix queue is as woke as you are.

Chapter 11 Brainwashing the Next Generation 163

Duplicate your outrage by making miniature copies of your woke self.

Chapter 12 A Glossary of Wokeness 181

Confused by our woke terms? Learn what all these newly made-up words really mean!