The Art of Conscious Conversations: Transforming How We Talk, Listen, and Interact

by Chuck Wisner

Overview

Recognize the negative mental habits that derail conversations and destroy projects—and forge authentic, enduring, and productive connections.

We live in conversations like fish live in water—we’re in them all the time, so we don’t think about them much. As a result, we can find ourselves stuck in cyclical patterns of unproductive behaviors. We listen half-heartedly, react emotionally, and respond habitually, like we’re on autopilot.

This is a practical guide for thoughtfully reflecting on conversations and avoiding the common pitfalls that cause our relationships and work to go sideways. Chuck Wisner identifies four universal types of conversations and offers specific advice to maximize the effectiveness of each:

Storytelling—Investigate the stories we tell ourselves about ourselves and others
Collaborative—Explore the way our stories and other people’s stories interact
Creative—See new possibilities and discover unforeseen solutions
Commitment—Make promises we know we can keep

These conversations unfold sequentially: Our awareness of our and others’ stories transforms our ability to listen and collaborate, which opens our thoughts to creative possibilities, guiding us toward mindful agreements.

Our conversations—at home, at work, or in public—can be sources of pleasure and stepping-stones toward success, or they can cause pain and lead to failure. Wisner shows how we can form a connection from the very first conversation and keep our discourse positive and productive throughout any endeavor.
 
“A compelling read with a big impact.” —Susan McPherson, author of The Lost Art of Connecting

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9781523003280
Publisher:	Berrett-Koehler Publishers
Publication date:	10/17/2023
Sold by:	Barnes & Noble
Format:	eBook
Pages:	216
Sales rank:	90,982
File size:	2 MB

About the Author

Chuck Wiser is president of Wisner Consulting. His client list includes companies such as Google, Rivian, Apple, Tesla, Harvard Business School, Ford, and Chrysler. Wisner was a senior affiliated mediator with the Harvard Mediation Program and was among the first to be certified through the Mastering the Art of Professional Coaching program at the Newfield Institute. He was also a specialist in organizational learning and leadership as an affiliate with MIT's Center for Organizational Learning.

Table of Contents

Preface ix

Introduction Waking Up in Conversations 1

Part I Storytelling Conversations

Your Stories Are Not the Truth

1 The Birth of Stories 11

2 Emotions, Facts, and Stories 27

3 Opinions and Private Conversations 39

4 Processing Our Opinions 51

Part II Collaborative Conversations

Seek to Understand and Absorb Other Perspectives

5 In Conversation with Others 75

6 Private Conversations 81

7 Open Advocacy and Inquiry 95

Part III Creative Conversations

Trust your Intuition

8 From Resignation to Wonder 111

9 Intuition and Presence 125

10 Co-creative Conversations 133

Part IV Commitment Conversations

Don't Make Promises You Can't Keep

11 The Conversational Bypass 145

12 Requests, Offers, and Promises 153

13 Recovery Conversations 171

Conclusion A Lifelong Journey 183

References 189

Acknowledgments 191

Index 195

About the Author 201

Editorial Reviews

Chuck’s models of communication and leadership helped me investigate my thinking patterns, unconscious judgments, and ‘stories.’ This journey has made me not only a better leader but a better person.”
—Doug Field, Chief EV and Digital Systems Officer, Ford Motor Company
 
“The Art of Conscious Conversations is a thought-provoking and practical guide to unpacking conversations at work and in life.  Seasoned leadership coach Chuck Wisner shares his personal experiences and compelling stories of others who’ve successfully used the techniques he shares in this book to encourage us all to approach conversations with curiosity and introspection.  A compelling read with a big impact.”
—Susan McPherson, author of The Lost Art of Connecting
 
“Conversations are a portal into strengthening our relationships, yet they aren’t always treated with the care they deserve. In The Art of Conscious Conversation, Wisner unpacks the key ingredients to having more thoughtful, connected, and collaborative conversations. This is a helpful guide for building better relationships, one conversation at a time.”
—Ximena Vengoechea, author of Listen Like You Mean it
 
 
“What Chuck teaches best is how to use words effectively to reduce misunderstanding and conflict. His easy-to-remember concepts helped me examine my thinking and interactions and transform my conversations at work and at home.”
—Vineet Mehta, Director of System Modeling and Battery Technology, Tesla

From the Publisher