The 6 Needs of Every Child: Empowering Parents and Kids through the Science of Connection

by Amy Elizabeth Olrick, Jeffrey Olrick

Overview

Discover the power of being imperfectly present with your children, helping them develop mental, emotional, and spiritual resilience that will sustain them for a lifetime.

Like most parents, Amy and Jeffrey Olrick left the hospital with their first child desperate to know, "What do we do?" But years of parenting three kids and Jeffrey's work as a child psychologist convinced them to ask a better question: "How shall I be with this new person?"

In a culture obsessed with parenting formulas, it's easy to miss the fact that science and lived experience have proven that human development and thriving are a matter of relationship. Drawing on decades of psychological research, neuroscience, and their own experience as parents and people of faith, the Olricks present six relational needs for human growth that will transform the way you think about your child—and yourself. Together, the needs form a trustworthy compass to guide you and your child to a path of purpose and relational wholeness.

For parents who feel pulled in a hundred directions, dizzied by the volume of clashing strategies, and jaded by the parenting programs that complicated their own childhoods, The 6 Needs of Every Child is a groundbreaking roadmap integrating the science of connection with practical tools. You'll be equipped with:

• An in-depth look at the six essentials your child needs to thrive
• Tools to use when you feel stuck
• The secret to secure connection with your child
• Self-assessment tools to discern your unique parenting style

More than a parenting guide, this book is your invitation to break free from the myth of perfect parenting and embrace your child's long journey of growth. With insight, humor, and compassion, it calls parents to discover the power of being imperfectly present with their children, developing mental, emotional, and spiritual resilience that will sustain them for a lifetime.

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9780310358077
Publisher:	Zondervan
Publication date:	06/09/2020
Pages:	224
Sales rank:	218,235
Product dimensions:	8.30(w) x 5.40(h) x 0.60(d)

About the Author

Amy Olrick is an author and a techie who has spent her professional life working with organizations to build social movements grounded in the ethic of love. Her work and writing have been featured in The Guardian and USA Today. She lives in New Zealand with her husband and their three children.

Jeffrey Olrick, Ph.D., is a clinical psychologist who specializes in working with children and families. Dr. Olrick has over twenty years of experience working in a variety of settings, including the University of Virginia, residential treatment, the public school system, community mental health, and private practice. He lives in New Zealand with his wife and their three children.

Table of Contents

Introduction 11

1 Beyond Formulas and Fears: How Shall I Be with This Person? 15

2 The Science of Connection 24

3 Their Needs, Your Needs 43

4 Delight: I See You! 56

5 Support: How Can I Help? 73

6 Boundaries: How Far Is Too Far? 92

7 Protection: Are You Safe? 116

8 Comfort: I See Your Suffering 132

9 Equipping: Where to from Here? 149

10 A Sustainable Path of Connection 169

11 The Secretto Secure Connection 184

Acknowledgments 195

Appendix A The 6 Needs Assessment Tools 197

Appendix B Steps to Take If Your Child Is Struggling 205

Appendix C Steps to Take If You Are Struggling 209

Notes 211

Editorial Reviews

07/06/2020

Psychologist Jeffrey and journalist Amy Olrick, who are married, offer a useful framework for finding compassionate and forgiving ways to interact with one’s children. Exploring attachment parenting philosophy grounded within the Christian faith, the authors posit that basic human needs “form a compass” with six points: exploration through delight, support, boundaries; and reliability through protection, comfort, and equipping. They give advice for parents who tend to be over- or under-responsive in each mode. For instance, parents who feel uncomfortable leaving their children for long periods of time with others should ask their children if there are things they’d like to do without their parents and find compromises. They also include six common parenting types—achievement, authoritarian, free-range, helicopter, permissive, and playmate—to help readers situate themselves. Amy’s sections describe the experience of parenting their three sons, often highlighting “God moments” that helped to ground her in right action (such as times she’s apologized for being too strict or protective), whereas Jeffrey focuses on child psychology. Though the integration of faith language with clinical study can be awkward, the Olricks’ method will aid Christian parents in diagnosing their parenting strengths and weaknesses. (June)

Publishers Weekly