Read an Excerpt
CHAPTER 1
THE OPPORTUNITY
"Seize the day." –from the movie, "Dead Poets Society"
Come, and meet some friends of mine. Each is intelligent, confident, and high achieving in her own right. Do you know anyone like them? Are you asking questions like theirs?
Meet Esther: a Gen Xer Who Cares for Dependents, Has a Full-time Career, and Is Both Work and Family Focused
Esther is the youngest employee ever in the history of her international engineering firm to have been appointed operations director. She has a bright career future before her at the age of thirty-two.
Esther and her husband, Daniel, are raising their young son, Mack, who spends much of his day with a caregiver. Esther and Daniel spend their weekends with Mack, who is their only child.
Esther has a wonderful marriage and loves her work. Her life looks rosy indeed to outside observers. Unknown to others, however, is that Esther has a second baby on the way. Now, at the start of her first trimester, she wonders how she can break this news to her supervisor without impacting her own future career opportunities. She knows that, in order to advance to the next level in her career, she will be expected to be mobile. She understands that this mobility might include working for a period of time in another country or taking on roles that would require frequent global travel. As it stands, she manages a team of five who are diverse in terms of culture, gender, and generation. The team is also diverse geographically, so she manages them both physically — in the same location where she is — and virtually. Needless to say, Esther has to spend a lot of time resolving complex conflicts and dealing with the diverse expectations of her team.
Esther knows that quitting is not an option, as Daniel and she need a dual income to maintain their current standard of living. But she is conflicted and overwhelmed. She already feels guilty and stressed each time she needs to take calls from home or hold meetings on weekends. The ultimate emotional blow to Esther happened when Mack fell the other day, and he ran into the arms of his caregiver instead of to Esther — who was standing right beside him. It broke her heart and left her wondering, what can I do to live a life where I excel at work AND in my family life?
Meet Jen: a Baby Boomer Retiree Who Works, with Children Away from Home
Jen has an impeccable work ethic. The one and only company she has worked in for in thirty years is the same one she wants to continue working for until retirement. She has just discovered, however, that retirement may not happen when she'd originally expected. Jen has learned that she will need to continue working to fund her ongoing needs. The thought of continuing to work at this pace sends shivers down her back. She had thought that she could finally slow down and smell the roses, as her health is not as good as it once was.
To make matters worse, her current boss is the same age as her son. In recent months, she has had run-ins with her boss with regards to showing respect and recognition of her contributions. Having been in the same workplace for the last thirty years, she is not sure if she can start over in the "whole new world" out there. However, being fiercely independent, she loathes asking her grown-up children for support. She wants to explore her work options and improve her relationship with her boss. How can I live a more vibrant and fulfilling life? Isn't this really what life is all about? she asks herself daily.
Meet Sylvia: a Gen Y, Career-Focused Woman, Who Also Wants to Have Some Fun in Life
Yet to relinquish her fight to retain a life outside of work, Sylvia is every bit of the young, enthusiastic millennial — eager to prove herself and live life by her own rules. She recently asked her supervisor, "Why do we have to go to work at the same time every day, and to the same place? The commute to work is terrible. I am more productive working from home or somewhere more informal. After all, my work can be done entirely from my laptop!" Sylvia was amazed with her supervisor's answer that it has always been this way, and that she should adapt if she wants to be promoted and advance in her career.
Now, she needs to show that she is present and active at work. She has learned how to work "smart." But she is realizing she should not be so efficient, because it does not pay to get things done quickly. She will still have to hang around the office until the clock strikes quitting time and she and the zillions of others in the office leave for home.
Sighing, she wishes she could go join the master ceramics class of a famous potter who is in town just for the season. Alas, the class is in the late afternoon, and there is no way she can leave early to pursue her passion.
Meet Abigail: an Entrepreneur Who Thought Running Her Own Business Would Give Her More Free Time to Do What She Wanted
Abigail is a mother of two, a wife, a daughter, and a home-based entrepreneur who left her job because she wanted to spend more time with her children and aging mom. She lost her dad two years earlier, and she treasures her time with her mom.
Everyone thinks Abigail has the perfect life now that she works for herself. What could be better than spending each day doing what you love while being able to be there for the children? What others do not know is that Abigail constantly struggles; she learns that working for one's self isn't always the best for one's personal and professional life. She realizes that as an entrepreneur, she has to be even more disciplined than when she was in the corporate world. She needs to be sure that when, where, and how she is spending her time and energy are serving her well. After all — when you are "the boss" — the good, bad, and ugly of the business ends with you.
Abigail realizes more than anyone else that if you are the business owner, you have to care for it almost as if it was a living organism. She still struggles with telling her family members that she can't do things with them when she is rushing for a deadline — or has overcommitted in order to tide herself over the lull seasons.
An entrepreneur, more than anyone else, is at risk of burnout. But any 24-Hour Woman can become consumed entirely with work if she is not consciously designing and living by the choices she makes.
Meet ...
Let me ask you: does this schedule look familiar?
6:00 a.m. — The beeping alarm clock startles her into reality. It's time to get up, but she presses snooze. Just five more minutes, she thinks to herself.
6:05 a.m. — The alarm beeps again. I will just skip the gym for today, she thinks. I have plenty of time before I need to get up.
6:10 a.m. — BEEP-beep-beep. The thoughts running through her head now are: I'm so tired ... so sleepy ... I had a late night call, so it's okay ... I can sleep. There goes the snooze button again.
6:15 a.m. — BEEP-BEEP-beep. I need to get up, skip the gym today, hit the shower, and put on my contacts. Then, I'll change into my power suit ... yes, the red one for today ... and then I'll get breakfast ready. She runs through her to-do list before she goes back to slumber-land once again.
6:20 a.m. — BEEP-BEEP-BEEP. It's serious now. She gets out of bed and hopes that the kids are still asleep. She could do a lot with a few more minutes to herself. "Where is my ME time?" she wonders aloud.
6:30 a.m. — Hitting the shower, getting dressed, and applying makeup in record time, she lets the dog out and gets busy in the kitchen.
7:00 a.m. — Child A wakes up. Oh no, the breakfast is not ready ... neither is the lunch box; and oh, the bus will arrive in thirty minutes, she thinks to herself. "Just wash up and put your school clothes on by yourself," she shouts out to her child from the kitchen.
7:10 a.m. — Child A has his breakfast in front of the television, while Child B gobbles down his breakfast as he focuses on his handheld game. Thank goodness they are quiet, she thinks, as it dawns on her that she has not had a good conversation with her children for a long time. But, she thinks, this is not the time. We need to hurry.
7:30 a.m. —Hurrah ... the bus is here. She propels the kids out the door with a quick kiss.
7:45 a.m. — She checks to ensure that she has everything she needs for work.
7:55 a.m. — While commuting to work, she realizes ... the meat is not out of the freezer for the evening dinner, the sink is not cleared of dirty dishes, and she has not read the report for her morning meeting.
What a start to the day. But it's not too bad, she thinks. At least the school bus was on time, the red suit was picked up from the cleaner's two days ago, and none of the children were sick.
Yes, the to-do list is getting checked off; yes, she is staying busy; and yet, as the day unfolds, she does not feel like she is interacting with it in a meaningful manner. She is not progressing in the projects that mean the most to her, and yet all too soon, the end of the day arrives.
Do any of the above situations — or a combination of them — sound like your life? Are you, like some of the women in these highlighted stories, constantly trying to juggle your demands from both work and life? This is the state of daily living for many — just trying to cope with life's challenges and to-dos.
How, then, can one with just twenty-four hours manage it all, navigate the issues of work and life — AND find happiness?
The 24-Hour Woman Defined
In the Introduction, we explored the idea that each of us has twenty-four hours in a single day; why is it that some women find success, happiness, and fulfillment in their days — while others discover only frustration and fatigue? Let's recap:
We live in a highly mobile and always on, 24/7 society. Our modern, hectic, and sometimes chaotic environment forces us to commit to more, thus forcing us to squeeze more out of each day. Whether you are a working mom coping with kids and a career, a caregiver juggling between the needs of a dependent and your work, a thriving and multi-talented entrepreneur taking on the world, or a baby boomer without the possibility of true "retirement," this book is for you — offering a tool to build the beautiful tapestry of your legacy amidst of the challenge of your hectic and sometimes chaotic life.
Why now? With career opportunities abounding in business, and our culture and society transforming in the last decade, now is the opportune time to pull back the curtains to unveil a vibrant and joyous life. Technology (new social media and collaborative systems that allow telecommuting and flexible work), demographic shifts (gender and generation shifts that increase the number of women in the workplace as the population ages), and globalization (the world feeling a lot smaller than it once did) have changed the context of business and the workplace. These shifts provide new options for women to plug in, literally, to new careers and work setups — locally, regionally, and internationally.
The book serves to reinforce her, as stated in the Introduction: The 24-Hour Woman is one who recognizes her challenges and is equipped to enjoy her work-life-play optimally, taking into consideration the well-being of herself as well as those with whom she is in relationship. This could include children, a spouse, extended family, coworkers, a boss, clients, and more. The 24-Hour Woman is no longer daunted by the challenges around her, but instead inspired by them — because she is equipping herself with time-tested and cutting-edge strategies and tools, embracing the right attitudes, and creating her own success of joy and vibrancy as she journeys towards her life destiny.
Three Myths of the 24-Hour Woman
Before we proceed, let's explore the three main myths associated with today's 24-Hour Woman. These myths may keep women trapped in their circumstances; but understanding and unraveling these myths can free each woman to experience greater joy and vibrancy.
Myth #1: The 24-Hour Woman Has All of the Resources at Her Disposal. The truth of the matter is, the 24-Hour Woman is "STRESSED" like the rest of women, having a thousand tasks on her to-do list; but she is mindful that she can't do it all alone. Whether at work, at home, or engaging in her personal life, she actively cultivates additional support before she desperately needs it. This means creating support systems at work and in her community or family.
Myth #2: The 24-Hour Woman Can Have It All. The 24-Hour Woman has the wisdom to know that managing it all does not mean having it all. Rather, it means achieving satisfaction and happiness in areas that matter most. Instead of trying to do and have everything, the 24-Hour Woman masters the art of navigating life successfully by focusing first on the legacy she wants to build.
Myth #3: The 24-Hour Woman is Successful When She Emulates What She Sees in the Advertisements and Media. The 24-Hour Woman is high achieving on her own terms and not as defined by society or the media. She knows what's important to her and sets her heart on it.
We will bust these and more myths in Chapter 3 as we dissect them and empower you with new rules of the game. First, we are going to address some of the anxiety and fear that comes from realizing that your position needs to change.
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"I think they're (urban women professionals) increasingly more influential in their society and their professions, and also they play a very important role in their families, the carryover of their values, also the transformations of those values. But also at the same time, they're under a lot of pressure from work and from family burdens, from children rearing."
— Yang Lan, CEO, Sun Media, referring to urban women professionals in China (CNN.com, "Interview with Yang, Lan," October 24, 2007).
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Five Steps to Re-Packing Your Skills for a New Role
As you begin to lift the veil on your current job and position yourself as a 24-Hour Woman, you may realize that your current job is not the one you will have for long. You may, in fact, realize that your job is about to be phased out of existence.
One question I'm often asked is what to do if "the job that I have now is no longer going to exist in twelve months." If you are about to transition — or be transitioned — out of your job, you need to take a different lens to defining your role. Begin to see your role as no longer just your title, but as a combination of the deliverables you provide. Your first step in navigating this change — whether desired or unexpected — is to unbundle all of the wonderful knowledge, skills, and experiences you have so that you can uncover options and opportunities.
I never fail to feel amazement when I hear the squeal of delight at our "StepUp for Women Program" as a participant jumps with joy knowing that she is not stuck or even at a dead end; in fact, this may very well be her new beginning! How many times have you heard a similar story of an entrepreneur who started a successful business only after losing a job? There is opportunity in the ashes, but your success depends upon your ability to reframe your career value based on your long-term strategy.
Rather than reacting to short-term change, the 24-Hour Woman creates long-term change by living mindfully through transitions. Follow these steps:
1. Make a list of ALL of your knowledge, skills, and experience for ALL paid and non-paid roles.
2. Make a list of ALL of the latest training or learning that you have gathered.
3. Make a list of your top five areas of interest. Don't judge or censor yourself; just write them down. If you are unsure, ask yourself: What do I love to do in my free time? What magazines do I love to read?
4. Put your knowledge, skills, and experience into broad categories (see Putting It Into Practice sidebar).
5. Make a list of all possibilities and options of roles in your area of interest.
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Putting It Into Practice
Let's explore knowledge, skills, and experience by using a human resource professional as an example. After all, I did spend nearly a decade in this field before I became an entrepreneur! So what can we unravel from the perspective of knowledge, skills, and experience of someone serving in HR? Note the transferable skills in these six broad categories:
• Communication Skills: Expressing, Transmitting, and Interpreting Knowledge. Specific communication skills pertaining to HR may include delivering presentations, public speaking, writing, listening, giving feedback, editing, and facilitating discussions.
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Excerpted from "The 24 Hour Woman"
by .
Copyright © 2015 Cheryl Liew-Chng.
Excerpted by permission of Morgan James Publishing.
All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
Excerpts are provided by Dial-A-Book Inc. solely for the personal use of visitors to this web site.
