Table of Contents
I. WORKPLACE SHENANIGANS
Intro: The Plunge
Peter, Peter, Pumpkin Eater
Head, Shoulders, Knees, and Toes—What are Those?
Tongue Tied
STDs oh STDs. Your STDs are Affecting Me
Hands in the Air. Hands in the Air.
Pop Goes the Weasel
Little Pig, Little Pig, Let Me Come In
One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Ewww Fish
Pacifier, Pacifier. Baby wants a Pacifier.
__________________ is No Longer Employed Here!
You MAID a Mistake
Hush Little Baby
It’s Not Me Actually, It’s You!
Did I Do That?
Poops, She Did It Again!
You can Die, as Long as You Tried
Flip-Flops are Not Just For Feet
Daylight Saves Who Time?
II. LIFESTYLE SHENANIGANS
Say My Name, Say My Name
The Color Green
You Lied to Me Through Your Vagina!
Tom and Jerry
I’m a Tractor Trailer, I’m Convinced!
Window Seat
Personal Space
Today I’m a Vegetarian. For Real, For Real!
Duck, Duck Goose
The gods are Coming to Get You
Can You Hear Me Now?
I’m a Vegetarian Again
Please, Tell Me About Myself!
Snap, Crackle, Pop
Who?
I’m About that Life
The Shoes Need a Ticket and The Lady Took My Hair
GOAL!
Home Fries
Slow and Steady Wins NO Race
The Big Bad Student Athlete and His Lil’ Ole Granny
I’ve Fallen and I Can’t Get Up
Snoring Sammy
Swiper, NO Swiping
Wing Dings. Wing Dings.
If You’re Horny, Let’s Do It!
The 3 Stooges
Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep
Liar, Liar, Pants on Fire (LLPOF)
Open for Business, or Not!
Teach Me How to Dougie
Twerk Master
III. FAMILY SHENANIGANS
Soccer Mom on Fleek
I Didn’t Want Him
I Need Time to Marinate
The Lesson Gift
Walk with Me
Name, Sex
The Veggie Tales
My Last Petty Play Day
Side Chick, Side Chick, Wherefore Art Thou?
Lean On Me
The Day “I Love You” Killed Me
Can You Do Me a Favor?
Parents, Do Better!
Crumb Snatchers Gone Wild
My Neck, My Back
Vaginal Deposits
All I Wanted to Do Was Dye
Dollar, Dollar, Bills Y’all!!
There is NOTHING to eat
Outro
The Happy Dance
Glossary
