04/24/2023
Hanley-Dafoe has had enough of settling for the appearance of “fine,” of pretending that life is easy, and of the “unparalleled stress, unrest, and uncertainty” of contemporary existence. Upbeat and inviting despite its frank acknowledgement of the too-muchness so many of us feel, Hanley-Dafoe’s follow-up to Calm Within the Storm lays out a clear pathway toward a solution to the “wicked problem” of stress. Her answer: “real wellness, not just surface physical health and social acceptance.” That means moving from “fine” to “okay” to living a full life, a process that here entails self-investigation, understanding signature strengths and the capacity of one’s “stress bucket,” exploration of Hanley-Dafoe’s eight touchstones of wellness, and the urgent reminder that “wellness is a direction, not an outcome.”
While Stress Wisely bursts with insights from Hanley-Dafoe’s resiliency research and coaching practice, the book’s companionable, encouraging, sometimes even funny: “We will need a plan,” she writes at eon point. “We will need a map. And probably snacks.” Examples and anecdotes are fresh, drawing on Colleen Hoover, post-pandemic norms and worries, and up-to-date reporting and research on a host of subjects, from climate change to the distinction between “spiritual” and “religious.” Hanley-Dafoe writes with clarity, persuasive power, and empathy about the challenges of adopting new habits and ways of thinking in a society that prizes endless hustle, sets unrealistic beauty standards, and “pathologizes normal fluctuations in emotions.”
The material is somewhat sprawling, and the book runs long, with Hanley-Dafoe occasionally spinning her wheels for a paragraph or two. But there’s also much welcome, original insight here, especially about societal causes of stress, personal cycles of panic and avoidance that cue yet more stress, and approaches for how to break free of old habits and debilitating personal narratives. Throughout, Hanley-Dafoe offers a host of inspiring and inspired advice (“Bring your experiences with you as data, not determinants”), backed up with evidence and delivered with wit and heart.
Takeaway: This fresh, insightful guide to facing stress urges readers to stop settling for “fine.”
Great for fans of: Emily Nagoski’s Burnout, Matt Haig’s Notes on a Nervous Planet.
Production grades Cover: B Design and typography: A Illustrations: N/A Editing: A- Marketing copy: A
Really honest, kind, and above all else, useful. Thank you for helping us make sense of it all.”
Phil M. Jones, bestselling author of Exactly What to Say
“We are living through the most significant global health crisis in our time. Yet there is hope if we apply the new ideas that Dr. Robyne Hanley-Dafoe shares with us. She weaves together knowledge, ancient wisdom, and deep practice to elevate our mental, emotional, and spiritual lives with clear and powerful strategies so that you can stop the negative stress cycle and return to joy, happiness, and thriving.”
Greg Wells, PhD, bestselling author of The Ripple Effect and Rest, Refocus, Recharge
“Using research, personal experiences, and her incredible ability to make science relatable and digestible, Dr. Robyne Hanley-Dafoe looks at the individual puzzle pieces of wellness and how they fit into the big picture of life.”
Heather Moyse, speaker, founder of The Possibility Playground, 2x Olympic gold medallist, and author of Redefining ‘Realistic’
“Dr. Robyne Hanley-Dafoe’s valuable perspective on prioritizing the power of connection and personal recovery will inspire you to become an unstoppable force for wellness in your community.”
Riaz Meghji, keynote speaker and author of Every Conversation Counts
“Rich with heartfelt stories and original research, Stress Wisely is candid yet comforting, nuanced yet holistic, scholarly yet colloquial, and timely yet timeless. It’s a sprawling journey that oscillates between micro and macro contexts, uplifting and challenging wellness seekers from every walk of life.”
Hamza Khan, future of work expert and author of Leadership, Reinvented
2023-04-05
Psychology and education instructor Hanley-Dafoe presents a multipart approach to achieving wellness in the modern world.
As Hanley-Dafoe points out at the beginning of her new book, the pace of life is only getting faster, and the demands of life continuously increase—and at a far more rapid rate than human beings can tolerate. The self-help industry, she says, is based on the notion that “We are failing at our own lives.” “The divides around ideas, beliefs, values, and actions have become expansive,” she notes. “We are weary, wobbly, and discouraged.” In this book, she grounds her advice with frank openness about her personal struggles, including mental health issues, learning disabilities, and grief, and she breaks down her insights under several broad headings and focuses on fostering a sense of wellness in one’s body, heart, and mind as well as in the wider world. Throughout, she urges readers to be compassionate to themselves and cognizant of their own limitations when it comes to curbing bad habits and creating new ones. “Self-management is challenging for so many of us because we often rely on willpower and motivation to manage our behaviours,” she writes, warning that “these two energies are fickle friends.” Hanley-Dafoe’s decision to base so much of her approach on her experience is a wise one, as it allows her to very effectively alternate between empathy and moments of tough love: “Our physical pursuits of health are often attempts to heal emotional parts of our lives,” she writes when discussing physical self-care. “Our bodies are our protectors, not the enemy.” But she’s equally quick to warn her readers that “we cannot hustle our way out of discomfort,” and one can’t outthink their way out of every difficulty. This combination of clarity and compassion will make her suggestions invaluable to overstressed readers.
A warm and wise overview of how to navigate the pressures of an anxious era.
