Stick Up for Yourself!: Every Kid's Guide to Personal Power and Positive Self-Esteem

by Gershen Kaufman Ph.D., Lev Raphael Ph.D., Pamela Espeland

Overview

First published in 1990, this perennial best-seller has helped countless children build self-esteem and assertiveness skills.

Newly revised and updated, it’s the ultimate resource for any kid who’s ever been picked on at school, bossed around, blamed for things he or she didn’t do, or treated unfairly—and for any kid who sometimes feels frustrated, angry, powerless, or scared. Simple words and real-life examples show how children can stick up for themselves with other kids (including bullies and teasers), big sisters and brothers, even grown-ups.

Kids learn how to build relationships, become responsible, manage their anger, grow a “feelings vocabulary,” make good choices, solve problems, set goals, and “store” happiness and pride. Questions from real kids are paired with answers about how to handle specific situations calmly, confidently, and effectively. A special note to parents and teachers explores the “self-esteem backlash” and explains what self-esteem really is—and why kids today need it more than ever.

A wealth of practical, encouraging, realistic advice, this empowering little book is also recommended for parents, teachers, and counselors.
Part of the Bully Free Kids™ line

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9781575420684
Publisher:	Free Spirit Publishing
Publication date:	10/15/1999
Series:	Laugh and Learn Series
Edition description:	REVISED
Pages:	128
Product dimensions:	6.00(w) x 9.00(h) x 0.26(d)
Lexile:	630L (what's this?)
Age Range:	8 - 12 Years

About the Author

Gershen Kaufman was educated at Columbia University and received his Ph.D. in clinical psychology from the University of Rochester. Professor in the Counseling Center and Psychology Department at Michigan State University, he is the author of Shame: The Power of Caring and The Psychology of Shame: Theory and Treatment of Shame-Based Syndromes. He is the coauthor with Lev Raphael of Dynamics of Power: Fighting Shame and Building Self-Esteem and Coming Out of Shame. Lev Raphael was educated at Fordham University and received his M.F.A. in Creative Writing from the University of Massachusetts at Amherst. He holds a Ph.D. in American Studies from Michigan State University, where he has taught as an assistant professor of American Thought and Language. With Gershen Kaufman, he codeveloped and cotaught the program, “Affect and Self-Esteem,” on which the books Dynamics of Power and Stick Up for Yourself! are based. Book critic for National Public Radio’s “The Todd Mundt Show” and “Mysteries” columnist for The Detroit Free Press, he is the author of three Nick Hoffman mysteries, most recently The Death of a Constant Lover. Pamela Espeland has authored, coauthored, or edited over 200 books for Free Spirit Publishing on a variety of subjects. Pamela graduated from Carleton College in Northfield, Minnesota and currently lives in Minneapolis with her husband and two little dogs.

Table of Contents

A Note to Parents, Teachers, and Other Adults vi

Chapter 1 What It Means to Sack Up for Yourself 1

What You Need to Stick Up for Yourself 4

How to Make This Book Work for You 4

Chapter 2 How to Get and Use Personal Power 8

Be Responsible 9

Make Choices 15

Chapter 3 Get to Know Yourself 21

Name Your Feelings 22

Grow a Feelings Vocabulary 25

Feelings and Facial Expressions 39

Combined Feelings 40

Talk About Your Feelings 46

Name Your Future Dreams 46

Name Your Needs 50

Claim Your Feelings, Future Dreamy and Needs 58

Talk Things Over with Yourself 60

When Feelings Are Too Strong to Handle: Great Escapes 62

How to Deal with Strong Feelings 65

Chapter 4 Get and Use Power in Your Relationships and Your Life 72

Two Kinds of Power 73

Power in Your Relationships 75

Power and Choice 77

Equal Power 79

How to Deal with Bullying 82

Power in Your Life 86

How to Live Happily Ever After 87

Chapter 5 How to Build Positive Self-Esteem 91

Listening to Your Inner Voices 92

What Self-Esteem Really Means 95

10 Reasons Why You Need Positive Self-Esteem 96

Ways to Build Your Self-Esteem 97

16 Sure Signs of Strong Self-Esteem 103

Self-Esteem Do's and Don'ts 105

Six Good Things to Do for Yourself 107

Chapter 6 How to Build Inner Security 109

Powerlessness 110

Uncertainty 111

Accepting Your Limits 113

Tools for Building Inner Security 116

Protect Your Personal Power, Self-Esteem, and Inner Security Online 127

A Few More Ready-to-Use Tools 131

Chapter 7 You Can Stick Up for Yourself 133

Index 136

About the Authors 143

Editorial Reviews

Sensible, inviting, never condescending or preachy. . . . A well-crafted book.”—Voice of Youth Advocates


“Provides the stepping-stones that lead to positive choices and self-confidence.”—KLIATT


“A great resource for classroom exercises, as well as for any group that works with teens.”—National Parenting Center

National Parenting Center’s Seal of Approval

Parent Council® Selection

From the Publisher

A self-help guide to positive thinking, high self-esteem, and responsible personal power. Based on a program originally developed for adults, the book's premise is that all young people can and should be taught the skills necessary to face common issues, such as making choices, liking themselves, and solving problems. Exercises guide readers through learning about their own feelings, dreams, and needs--while stressing that they are responsible for their own behavior and happiness. Written in manual form, Stick Up For Yourself is similar in format to the many adult titles of the same genre. Situational anecdotes used to enhance the discussion are age appropriate and relevant to children. Of particular value are the ``Getting Personal'' sections that encourage writing and keeping a journal, which makes the guide more interactive and meaningful. The highly motivated will use this book independently, but it will be most effective within the classroom, family, or guidance group. --Pamela K. Bomboy, Chesterfield County Pub . Schools, VA

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