Read an Excerpt
Rule of Acquisition #181
Every Ferengi schoolboy knows the story of Milch the Wanderer. How he traveled the spaceways, meeting pimitive aliens and selling them Ferengi beads and trinkets in exchange for. . . well, whatever they had. Who can forget how he purchased the entire planet of Wohoken for a single crate of Ferengi tooth sharpeners? Yes, when it came to shafting the natives, Milch had the magic touch. Needless to say, Milch was one of Ferenginar's greatest heroes. Even to this day, every Ferengi hopes to make the pilgrimage to Crullus Prime, to climb the Stairs Of Gilfoyle, and to stand on the Stone Of Deaver, where the Crullers, realizing they'd just sold their entire female population for a fruit basket, finally ended Milch's glorious career (not to mention his life). It's a long journey to Crullus. But it's worth it. Because it was there, on that holy spot, before the flames consumed him, that Milch uttered his famous last words (aside, that is, from "Yooowwwch!"). And my eyes tear and my breast swells with pride as I recall Milch's final defiant cry, as recorded in the One Hundred Eighty First Rule Of Acquisition: "Not even dishonesty can tarnish the shine of profit."
