Spilt Milk Yoga: A Guided Self-Inquiry to Finding Your Own Wisdom, Joy, and Purpose Through Motherhood

by Cathryn Monro

Overview

Spilt Milk Yoga is a companion guide for mothers who want to experience the happiness, peace, and purpose available in each moment, and who want to be more present and connected to themselves and their children.

Author Cathryn Monro combines personal experience, honesty, and humour to acknowledge the moments when motherhood stretches us to the edges of our tolerance, patience, anger, and exhaustion and asks; “Will motherhood ruin my life?” “What happened to my body and my career?” “How do I achieve anything?” “Am I doing it right?” “Whose anger is this?” “Is an ordinary life good enough?”

Spilt Milk Yoga approaches motherhood as a path offering life’s richest and most profound lessons on love, acceptance and joy. Through guided self-inquiry the challenges become opportunities to grow, not in spite of motherhood, but because of it.

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9781942934752
Publisher:	Familius
Publication date:	08/09/2016
Pages:	250
Product dimensions:	5.20(w) x 7.90(h) x 0.70(d)

About the Author

Cathryn Monro is a professional artist, writer, educator, group worker and mother of two. Of all these jobs Cathryn rates mothering as by far the most challenging, creative, meaningful and fulfilling. Cathryn's life and work combine her creative drive, a commitment to holistic quality education and the principles of psychodrama, with yoga and meditation practices.

Cathryn holds a BFA and MFA from the Elam School of Fine Arts, University of Auckland, and has a 30+yr career as a professional artist. Between degrees Cathryn trained at the Drama Action Centre, Sydney, Australia, in physical theatre and communication training. It was there in 1990, that she began her yoga and meditation practice.

On returning to New Zealand Cathryn went on to train as a director in psychodrama and group work and began a 20+yr teaching career in NZ's premiere tertiary arts institutions. Cathryn worked as facilitator of workshops for parents with the Anger Change Trust for 2 years and was scriptwriter for 11 years for the charity Books In Homes, promoting a love of reading and book ownership to thousands of disadvantaged schoolchildren throughout New Zealand. Through this time Cathryn had two daughters and continued to pursue her yoga and meditation practice.

Over the last 10 years Cathryn has worked extensively with students and professionals leading groups in practice-based inquiry processes, drawing on the experiences of group members to deepen and integrate learning, build collaborative relationships and enrich working cultures.

Cathryn lives with her husband and daughters in Wellington, New Zealand.

Table of Contents

Introduction 1

How to Use Spilt Milk Yoga 2

This Is Not a Parenting Book 3

Why Spilt Milk? 4

Why Yoga? 5

The Five Niyama and ME! 7

The Five Niyama and YOU! 8

The Five Niyama: Inquiry 9

Chapters: To help you navigate Spilt Milk Yoga: A Guided Self-Inquiry to Finding Your Own Wisdom, Joy, and Purpose through Motherhood I've used the five niyama, the core actions of yoga, to organise the chapters. Translated as Self-Inquiry, Contentment, Self-discipline, Purity of Being, and Acknowledgement of the Spiritual Nature of Being. The niyama are interrelated and so are the chapters, so you'll find relevance and connections in whichever order you read them.

Part 1 Swadhyaya: Self-Inquiry: Cultivating self-awareness, to know yourself honestly, inquiring as to why you do what you do, and reflecting on what moves you forward or holds you back.

1 What Am I Doing, and Why? / Self-Inquiry 12

2 Will Motherhood Ruin My Life / Check Your Inner Approach 16

3 The Shock of Birth / Embracing the Learning 20

4 I'm a Mother! What Do I Do Now? / Collaborating with Life 24

5 How Do I Get There from Here? / Intention 28

6 Motherhood and a Spiritual Life? / Working with What You've Got 32

7 Don't Interrupt Me; I'm Trying to Be Spiritual / Contemplation-Accessing the Wisdom Inside You 36

8 Making Mistakes: I'm Trying to Do Right, but I've Done It Wrong / Compassionate Learning 40

9 Overload / Assessing What Matters 44

Part 2 Santosha: Contentment: Cultivating acceptance of what is, of yourself and of others, being at peace with who you are right now, and finding contentment in any moment

10 Rushing, Getting Nowhere Fast / Slowing Down 50

11 Mindless Busyness / Mindfulness 54

12 Is There Space for ME in My Life? / Yoga While Life Continues 58

13 Hateful Housework / Finding joy in Mundane Tasks 62

14 Smooth Plans and Bad Behaviour / Adjusting Expectations 66

15 I'm So Over This / Having the Time of Your Life While You're Having It 70

16 Invisible Work / Valuing Your Choice 74

17 I Used to Be Successful: Work and Worth / Recognising Success 78

18 How Do I Achieve Anything? / Achievement Satisfaction 82

19 Relentless Wonderfulness / Patience with the Journey 86

Part 3 Tapas: Self-Discipline: Cultivating your capacity to direct your energy purposefully, even when things get hot. The liberating fire of focus, intention, discipline, and perseverance

20 Mad, Bad, and Sad Mothering Moments / Embracing the Light and the Dark 92

21 Being More Than Myself / Love and Accept Your Humanity 96

22 Blame / Taking Responsibility 100

23 Anxiety, Worry, Fear, and Overwhelm / Honour Your Self 104

24 Resentment and Negativity / Holding On and Letting Go 108

25 When It's Someone Else's Fault / Forgiveness of Others 112

26 Being Your Own Worst Enemy/ Being Your Own Best Friend 116

27 Guilt, Regret, Hopelessness, and Despair / Focus on the Next Step 120

28 Anger / Listening to Anger 124

29 My Anger Habit / Taking Care of Anger 128

30 Losing It: The Fire of Motherhood / Reading the Early Warning Signs 132

31 Whose Anger Is This? / Steadfastness 136

Part 4 Shaueha: Purify of Being: Cultivating purity in mind, speech, and body. Decluttering your life and focusing on the good things that uplift and nurture your journey.

32 Bushwhacking, Garbage, and Meditation / One-Minute / Meditation 142

33 Tell-Tale Breathing Signs / Mindful Breath 148

34 Old Labels and Nasty Thoughts / Conscious Language 152

35 That's Ruined My Whole Day! / And Now… Refreshing the Page 156

36 Practising Habits Is a Hard Habit to Practise / Choosing Your Habits 160

37 I Don't Have Enough Time! / Making Friends with Time 164

38 Comparison / Living with Clear Purpose 170

39 Judgement / Discernment 174

40 Am I a Good Enough Mother and Yogi? / Being Good Enough 178

41 Self-Centred, Self-Indulgent, Selfish! / Self-Care 182

42 Birth and Sex: What Happened to My Body? Honour Your Body 186

Part 5 Ishvarapranidhana: Acknowledging file Spiritual Nature of Being: Cultivating attitudes and behaviours that celebrate and uphold our appreciation of being. Being alive to the wonder of life: recognising that, in any small moment, we are part of something larger and that how we live is what makes our lives meaningful.

43 Anywhere but Here / Being Where You Are Right Now 188

44 Plod, Plod, Plod. Is an Ordinary Life Enough? / Perceiving the Extra in Your Ordinary 192

45 Am I Doing It Right? / Valuing Your Own Journey 196

46 If Only I Had More I'd Be Happy / Strengthening Joy 200

47 Surviving or Thriving? / Gratitude 204

48 I'll Meditate-After I've Done Everything Else / Making Space by Taking Space 208

49 The Complaints Department / Choosing Happiness Now 212

50 Struggling with Being Where I Am / Ease with the Moment to Moment 216

51 Going It Alone with Loneliness / Reaching Out to Build Connection 220

52 What to Do When Things Go Well / Growing Goodness 224

Afterword 229

Editorial Reviews

"Reading this book, I felt I was with a warm, honest, and down-to-earth friend, sharing her insight and humor into what she aptly calls 'the volcanically active landscape' of family life. Cathryn Monro invites us to look deeply into our own experience and cultivate the qualities we most need as mothers to live our love—inner strength, flexibility, balance, and most importantly, greater self-awareness."
—Myla Kabat-Zinn co-author of Everyday Blessings:The Inner Work of Mindful Parenting

"Cathryn Monro's passion for parenting and self-inquiry is woven into this practical and provocative tool for all mothers. Using recognizable, embarrassing and often hilarious examples Spilt Milk Yoga allows us to reveal our own truths, making us more open and ready to grow at the kitchen sink and beyond."
—Kate McIntyre Clere, Director YOGAWOMAN

"I am a working mother of three, and Cathryn's inspirational book resonates with me on many levels. She achieves a universal message through the particular stories she tells. The ingenious workbook form provides a practical and clear pathway to deal with the issues mothers face yet Cathryn's main concern is spirit and how we can light the way for ourselves and our kids."
—Miranda Harcout, Order of New Zealand Merit, Actor

" . . . Extremely thoughtful and meaningful and would be a great benefit to caring mothers. Well put together and easy to follow. This is a book in the making that could make a real difference to its intended audience."
—Ashton Wylie Charitable Trust Unpublished Manuscript Awards 2014

"A wise and insightful guide to embracing the transformative journey of motherhood as one of life's most profound gifts. Spilt Milk Yoga is the warm companion we need at our sides, connecting us to our own humanity as we navigate the constantly shifting terrain of tears, laughter, and learning. I wish someone had given this book to me when I was a new mom!"
—Shelley Davidow, author of Raising Stress-Proof Kids

"As a mother of a 12- and 15-year-old, Cathryn Monro approaches motherhood from the point of view of self-inquiry. She studies her inner world sometimes harshly and sometimes with self-soothing. She discusses her conflicting beliefs about mothering. She questions whether a woman’s experience of motherhood fuels self-realization and human potential from the point of view of Yoga concepts of spirituality.

Monro beautifully shares her personal experience of childbirth that both shocked and thrilled her, feeling not only her baby was born but a new sense of herself as well. The transition to motherhood is described poetically with various visual images to reach the reader as a spiritual path and journey.

Monro seems to be searching for the meaning of motherhood while inviting her readers to do the same. For readers who enjoy understanding life’s transitions from a spiritual angle and are interested in a self-investigation into their mothering experiences, this book is a must."
—Laurie Hollman, PhD, Psychoanalyst and author of Unlocking Parental Intelligence

From the Publisher

Reading this book, I felt I was with a warm, honest, and down-to-earth friend, sharing her insight and humor into what she aptly calls 'the volcanically active landscape' of family life. Cathryn Monro invites us to look deeply into our own experience and cultivate the qualities we most need as mothers to live our love— inner strength, flexibility, balance, and most importantly, greater self-awareness.

—Myla Kabat-Zinnco-author ofEveryday Blessings:The Inner Work of Mindful Parenting

Cathryn Monro's passion for parenting and self-enquiry is woven into this practical andprovocativetool for all mothers.Using recognisable,embarrassingand often hilarious examples Spilt Milk Yoga allows usto reveal our own truths, making us more open and ready to grow at the kitchen sink and beyond.

—Kate McIntyre Clere,Director YOGAWOMAN

I am a working mother of three, and Cathryn's inspirational book resonates wtih me on many levels. She achieves a universal message through the particular stories she tells. The ingenious workbook form provides a practical and clear pathway to deal with the issues mothers face yet Cathryn's main concern is spirit and how we can light the way for ourselves and our kids.

—Miranda Harcout, Order of New Zealand Merit, Actor

"...Extremely thoughtful and meaningful and would be a greatbenefit to caring mothers. Well put together and easy to follow. This is a book in themaking that could make a real difference to its intended audience."

—Ashton Wylie Charitable Trust Unpublished Manuscript Awards 2014

A wise and insightful guide to embracing the transformative journey of motherhood as one of life's most profound gifts.Spilt Milk Yogais the warm companion we need at our sides, connecting us to our own humanity as we navigate the constantly shifting terrain of tears, laughter, and learning.I wish someone had given this book to me when I was a new mom!



—Shelley Davidow, author ofRaising Stress-Proof Kids

As a mother of a 12 and 15 year old, Cathryn Monro approaches motherhood from the point of view ofself-inquiry. She studies her inner world sometimes harshly and sometimes with self-soothing. Shediscusses her conflicting beliefs about mothering. She questions whether a woman’s experience ofmotherhood fuels self-realization and human potential from the point of view of Yoga concepts ofspirituality.

Monro beautifully shares her personal experience of childbirth that both shocked and thrilled her,feeling not only her baby was born but a new sense of herself as well. The transition to motherhood isdescribed poetically with various visual images to reach the reader as a spiritual path and journey.

Monro seems to be searching for the meaing of motherhood while inviting her readers to do the same.For readers who enjoy understanding life’s transitions from a spiritual angle and are interested in a self-investigation into their mothering experiences, this book is a must.

—Laurie Hollman, PhD, Psychoanalyst and author ofUnlocking Parental Intelligence

“I AM HOOKED! I so needed this you have no idea! (actually you probably do!)

I was having a train-wreck of a time as a mother, feeling unvalued and unseen and bad about my own mothering, I could never get it ‘right'. Spilt Milk Yoga has helped me feel I am not alone, that there is a place to air the 'dark corners' of my experience, especially when I am struggling (which felt like always), and to know that I have my own wisdom. Reading Spilt Milk Yoga I feel renewed determination and empowered to move forward.I amloving the motherhood journey in a completely new way.

Straight to the point and no-nonsense, this book is super sustenance for me, it is simple and it goes in - even when I’m tired and stressed. I know my children benefit daily from this book as a resource for activating and remembering my inner wisdom. Reading Spilt Milk Yoga, I am learning that though it can be challenging and overwhelming at times motherhood is the best mess there is, that there are small moments of joy if I take time to see them, that my life is not on hold until they ‘grow up’ and leave, my life is now.

No other book has been able to combine the human and the divine so aptly. I have read many books, websites, youtube channels and blogs looking for parenting advice. They were all full of models and rules. Spilt Milk Yoga is not that; it is a tool that leads me to my own wisdom. I can dip into any page and find answers, I can dip into any chapter and feel seen no matter how s**t I am feeling about my mothering choices. Spilt Milk Yoga is rigorous, caring, firm and direct all at once. The perfect friend in this mothering journey."

—Ngapaki Moetara, Mother of three under 5-years-old

Endorsements