Socialism . . . Seriously: A Brief Guide to Human Liberation

by Danny Katch

Overview

“Katch has done the impossible: he makes socialism sexy . . . eye-opening, inspiring, and funny . . . this book might turn you into a closet socialist” (Judah Friedlander, actor and comedian).
 
Opinion polls show that many people in the United States prefer socialism to capitalism. But after being declared dead and buried for decades, socialism has come to mean little more than something vaguely less cruel and stupid than what we have now. That’s not exactly going to inspire millions to storm the barricades. Danny Katch brings together the two great Marxist traditions of Karl and Groucho to provide an entertaining and insightful introduction to what the socialist tradition has to say about democracy, economics, and the potential of human beings to be something more than being bomb-dropping, planet-destroying racist fools.
 
“The most hilarious book about socialism since Karl Marx and his brother Harpo wrote their joke book.” —Hari Kondabolu, filmmaker and comedian
 
“If The Communist Manifesto and America’s Funniest Home Videos had a baby, it would be Danny Katch’s new book. It’s a hilarious and fun way to think about what’s wrong with our world, how it could be different, and how we might get there. Keep an extra copy of Socialism . . . Seriously in your bag and hand it to the next person who asks you what socialism is all about; as long as that person is not your boss . . . seriously.” —Brian Jones, actor, educator, and activist
 
“A lighthearted, easy read that packs an intro course on socialism into a short volume. With jokes that made me laugh out loud, and a lot of heart. Socialism is for lovers. Indeed.” —Sarah Jaffe, Belabored podcast host

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9781608466108
Publisher:	Haymarket Books
Publication date:	02/13/2020
Sold by:	Barnes & Noble
Format:	eBook
Pages:	182
File size:	450 KB

About the Author

Danny Katch is a writer from Queens, New York and a regular contributor to Truthout, Jacobin, and The Indypendent. His previous books include Why Bad Governments Happen to Good People and America’s Got Democracy! The Making of the World’s Longest Running Reality Show.

Read an Excerpt

Socialism is a good idea, but… …it doesn’t work in practice. …human beings are too greedy to make it work. …the rich and powerful will never allow it.

Most of us have heard one of these declarations in school, on television, around the dinner table. Whatever the specific reason, the lesson we are meant to take away is that socialism ain’t gonna happen. Interestingly, the argument always begins with the reluctant concession that socialism is, in fact, a good idea. There’s even a right wing bumper sticker that goes a step further than good and reads “Socialism….A Great Idea Until You Run Out of Other People’s Money.” I realize that the guy with this message on his vehicle alongside confederate flags and various other “I’m an asshole” signifiers doesn’t mean it as a compliment. But it says something that even the most hostile opponents of socialism often start out by admitting that it sure sounds nice. Perhaps they do so because the inverse is so obviously true. Capitalism is a bad idea. Imagine if we start a society on an uninhabited tropical island and I propose a that the people who do all the work will be paid as little as possible while the people who don’t do anything but own stocks will have more money than they could possibly spend in their lifetimes. You would be looking at each other and shaking your heads. Wait, wait, hear me out, I might say. We’ll also treat air, water, plants, minerals, and other animals as objects to be exploited even more easily than workers! Now you’re slowly backing away because there’s obviously something not right with me. Wait don’t go! We can maintain peace creating massively destructive weapons and violent prisons. Why is everybody leaving? In this most capitalist of countries, growing numbers are coming to the conclusion that it is a bad idea. Some of them have read sharp critics of the system like Noam Chomsky and Naomi Klein. Others have just lived in this world with open eyes hearts. This is a positive step forward from the political climate in recent decades in which critics of capitalism were too marginal to even be considered dangerous. But it’s not enough to know what we’re against. If we’re not for something different, we’re just daydreaming--or whining, if your personality is more like mine. Capitalism isn’t going to collapse from criticism alone. People have cursed and denounced this thing for centuries and it very good at deflecting opposition with a big “but” of its own: Capitalism is a bad idea but… …it’s the only system that works. …it fits with humanity’s greedy nature. …don’t waste your life trying to change it.

The last major social system to be permanently overturned was based on plantation slavery. The key turning point took place when the slaves of Santo Domingue defeated armies from France and Spain to create the nation of Haiti in 1810. For hundreds of years before the Haitian Revolution, enslaved Africans had understood the injustice of this system and had fought rebellions to try to escape it. But after Haiti, these rebellions--from Brazil to Virginia--became revolutions attempting not to escape slavery but to end it. There is no socialist equivalent to the Haitian example to prove to the world that capitalism is no longer necessary, and books are no substitute for revolutions. My more modest aim is to introduce some of today’s daydreamers and whiners to a concept that the world desperately needs. What is socialism? I can’t just give that away on page 3. What kind of an author do you think I am? Okay fine. A short answer is that socialism is a society whose top priority is meeting all of its people’s needs, from food, shelter, and health care to art, culture, and companionship. In contrast, capitalism only cares about any of that basic human necessity stuff to the extent that money can be made off it. Socialism is both more rational and moral than capitalism, but the question has always been if it is practical and attainable. That requires a longer answer. My pitch for you to read the rest of this book is that it will introduce you to the different aspects of socialism--its analysis of capitalism, theories about what a different world can look like, strategies for how to get there, and history of movements, parties, and revolutions. All in a little over a hundred pages, which is barely longer than the “Terms and Conditions” you have to approve before upgrading iTunes. Unlike Apple, I actually want you to actually read the following pages because I’m not trying to trick you into signing away whatever rights to privacy you have left. That’s just one of the many supposed crimes socialism that capitalism perfected long ago. If you do keep reading, you’ll probably have questions about some sections and disagreements with others. I’ll make suggestions in some footnotes and the main text about other books you can read that go much deeper than this one about various topics. You might want to learn more about the Haitian Revolution, for example, which for some mysterious reason is overlooked by the educational system of this country that was built by slaves. The best place to start is The Black Jacobins, a brilliant and beautifully written account by the brilliant Trinidadian socialist, C.L.R. James. Please read those footnotes, by the way, which contain not just book recommendations but also silly tangents, hilarious jokes, and a great tip for the next time you want to serve chicken pot pie.1 Last point. You may have already noticed that my writing style is unusually informal and lighthearted for a book about weighty topics like economics and oppression. There might be more jokes in here than in any socialist book since Vladimir Lenin’s

1 Repeat after me: “Chicken pot pie is not a dark overlord and I am not its servant.” Hilarious joke
number one! I’ll be down here all book.

little known Big Bathroom Book of Bolshevik Humor.2 If this approach isn’t going to work for you, you should probably find another book. Or, you could lighten up. Saving the world from war, poverty, and ecological collapse is going to be hard enough without you being all Mopey McPherson about it. Okay, I think that last comment chased away the haters. Let’s get started.

Table of Contents

Introduction
Part 1 Why Do You Ask?
1. Ghost stories
2. Dig deeper

Part 2 Capitalism

3. Welcome to the jungle
4. Freedom isn’t free Tyranny: Exploitation&Oppression Anarchy: Competition and Crisis
5. Who’s in charge?

Part 3 Socialism

6. Imagine
7. The working class
8. Revolution
9. What’s in a name?

Part 4 Further Questions

10. Will socialism be boring?
11. Is socialism a religion?
12. Five Tips For Being an Effective and Relatively Sane Socialist

Editorial Reviews

"Danny Katch has done the impossible: he makes socialism sexy. Socialism... Seriously is eye-opening, inspiring, and funny. Warning to all Democrats, Republicans, and libertarians: this book might turn you into a closet socialist."
—Judah Friedlander, World Champion

"The most hilarious book about socialism since Karl Marx and his brother Harpo wrote their joke book.”
—Hari Kondabolu

"I've been waiting for someone to write this book—a lighthearted, easy read that packs an intro course on socialism into a short volume. With jokes anthem made me laugh out loud, and a lot of heart. Socialism is for lovers. indeed."
—Sarah Jaffe, host, Dissent Magazine's "Belabored" podcast

“The funniest, smartest, and most dangerous political writer you neverheard of is Danny Katch.”
—Dave Zirin, sports editor, The Nation

“Danny Katch brings the socialist vision to life — Socialism, Seriously is incredibly readable.”
–Bhaskar Sunkara, editor, Jacobin

“Danny Katch has better comic bomb sights than Jon Stewart: his outrageous, passionate sarcasm always falls exactly on target. The Democratic Party, as we used to say in the day, is the killing joke.”
—Mike Davis, author, In Praise of Barbarians

“If the Communist Manifesto and America’s Funniest Home Videos had a baby, it would be Danny Katch’s new book. It’s a hilarious and fun way to think about what’s wrong with our world, how it could be different, and how we might get there. Keep an extra copy of Socialism, Seriously in your bag and hand it to the next person who asks you what socialism is all about; as long as that person is not your boss… seriously.”
–Brian Jones, educator and socialist activist

“If socialism is such a great idea, why don’t we have it yet? This book explains why with plain language, humor and common sense. If enough people read this book, it might spark the revolution.”
–Howie Hawkins, 2014 Green Party candidate for governor of New York

“This book is a well written and funny introduction to revolutionary socialism. Katch is a US humourist and activist and his wit, sincerity and passion run right through the book. He avoids use of jargon, making the book accessible to those without any prior knowledge of leftist thought, while simultaneously making it an amusing and sometimes uplifting read for those who are already familiar with his basic argument.” –Counterfire

From the Publisher