Skubalon Storm: Secession, God & Country in a Possible World

by R Merald Ayer

Overview

Skubalon Storm is a comic satire, revealing the origins and consequences of Texas' 2027 hapless secession from the so-called United States. Moments before the breakaway is announced, Governor Peter Phelt learns that Texas has been expelled from the Union because it is unbearably obnoxious -a secession interruptus, as it were.

Thirty miles east of Austin, Phelt's arch rival, Pastor Arlen Bob Yates, founder of the worldwide Church of the P-Free Sabbath, prepares to deliver the final blows of his decades-long vendetta to humiliate and ruin Phelt. The former State of Texas is immediately bankrupted, Puerto Rico is admitted to the United Nations as the Republic of Texas, and Phelt is maneuvered into naming his new nation the Republic of North Mexico.

From the precarious epicenter of Texas politics, modern-day religion and ancient prophesy, the latest techniques in anthropological forensics are deftly employed throughout this scholarly work, leaving the reader with a deep understanding of all that was, and ever will be, Texas. This is the story of two Texas powerbrokers, switched at birth and bound together forever in a saga that ends once, and then again, in a possible world.

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9780692177730
Publisher:	Ronald M Ayer
Publication date:	10/16/2018
Pages:	406
Product dimensions:	6.00(w) x 9.00(h) x 0.83(d)

About the Author

R. Merald Ayer arrived in Austin two weeks before the Armadillo World Headquarters closed in 1980; he's pretty sure these seminal events in Texas history are not related. For the period prior, deep-state microfiche records provide evidence of stints as a union stagehand, firefighter, singer of telegrams, grave digger, and luthier. Once in Austin, the big money flowed in with Merald raking in millions as a local public radio producer, itinerate member of a Reagan-era comedy troupe, and undistinguished matriculant. Previous to the publication of Skubalon Storm, Merald penned a children's story for Ebony Jr., an article or two for Austin periodicals, dozens of forgettable radio and television commercials, and the 99-episode radio series My Town Earth. Of late, he's suspected of involvement in a scandalous satirical website lampooning Texas government-the claim, of course, is balderdash. Despite thirteen years as a Bob Cratchit-level analyst in the offices of three Texas governors dating back to Ann Richards, he loves the spectacle of state government and politics, so he writes about those with good measures of satire and whimsy.

Table of Contents

Preambulum........................................................................... 1

Book One: Insanus in medio................................................... 3

The First Teller...................................................................... 53

Book Two: Ante medium rabidus........................................... 59

The Second Teller: Part One................................................ 201

Book Three: Sed creaturae non sunt.................................... 205

The Second Teller: Part Two................................................ 261

Book Four: Ante proximum daret.......................................... 265

The Third Teller..................................................................... 319

Book Five: Pugnare parabis................................................... 323

Book Six: Non est his similis Mater......................................... 345

Epilogus: Omega barada nikto................................................ 395

Editorial Reviews

Rep. Alfric Jac, Texas House District 151, May 2027

Skubalon Storm is a textbook on cheating, collusion and lying to the good people of Texas. I cannot recommend it highly enough.

Peter Phelt, Governor of Texas, April 2027

Skubalon Storm is a faithful accounting of all that will happen, I guess. We’ll have to wait and see.

Flip Griff-Raff, former Attorney General of Texas, May 2027

I don’t know why I’m still in jail six weeks after the secession. We’re not part of the so-called United States any more-and what’s a little securities fraud among friends, anyway? At this point, Skubalon Storm is my only hope.

Galen Ram Das, Finding Crazy Heaven, July 2026

I get a funny feeling when people lie; I laughed through the entire novel.

The author’s mom, October 2018

I’m sure it’s a very nice book. I hope Merald will come out of the basement now, so I can sell the house.

From the Publisher