Single On Purpose: Redefine Everything. Find Yourself First.

by John Kim

Overview

The author of I Used to Be a Miserable F*ck, The Angry Therapist, now teaches you how to prioritize your relationship with yourself and live a more meaningful life, whether you’re alone, dating, or with a partner.

There’s more to life than loving someone. But being single can feel like a death sentence. Why does being alone = being lonely? And why do we stop working on ourselves when we’re in a relationship?

After a painful divorce, “The Angry Therapist” John Kim realized he had never truly been on his own. He went on a journey to rebuild his relationship with himself, going from alone and disconnected to alone and fulfilled.

Kim has gone on to help thousands of clients find their own unique way to break free of expectations and finally live their truth. With Single on Purpose, Kim takes his signature no-BS “self-help in a shot glass” approach as he shares his own singlehood story and shows readers how to own their shit, break their patterns, and find a grounded sense of self.

Spending time to cultivate your relationship with yourself shouldn’t be something you only do when you hit rock bottom, go through a major loss, or have a quarter-life crisis. All of us, at some point, need to be single—on purpose.

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9780062980731
Publisher:	HarperCollins
Publication date:	01/12/2021
Pages:	256
Sales rank:	1,118,687
Product dimensions:	5.60(w) x 8.20(h) x 1.10(d)

About the Author

John Kim LMFT (The Angry Therapist) pioneered the online life coaching movement seven years ago, after going through a divorce which led to his total re-birth. He quickly built a devoted following of fans who loved the frank and authentic insights that he freely shared on social media. He pulled the curtain back and showed himself by practicing transparency and sharing his story something therapists are taught not to do. Kim became known as an unconventional therapist who worked out of the box by seeing clients at coffee shops, on hikes, in a CrossFit box. He built a coaching team of his own and launched a sister company called JRNI, creating a new way to help people help people and change the way we change. He lives in Los Angeles.

Table of Contents

Introduction 1

Act I The Self (Connecting Back to You)

How to Deal with Loneliness 17

I Found Myself through Doughnuts, Barbells, and a Motorcycle 23

My Bathroom Stall Moment 28

How I Connected Back to Me 31

Self-Care Is Your First Date 42

Running to Stand Still 44

Pump These Pistons or Your Life Engine Will Not Move 51

Even Wonder Woman Has to Take Her Bracelets Off Sometimes 56

How to Treat Your Mind Better 64

Detach to Connect 73

My First Sweat Angel 75

Finding My Soul While Shitting in the Woods 80

Get Off the Island or You'll Always Be Tom Hanks Talking to a Volleyball 85

How to Make Friends as an Adult 93

Act II Relationship Residue (Letting Go)

Our Love Journey in a Shot Glass 101

Boots and Boners 108

The Search for Love Starts Earlier than You Think 112

Tracy Chapman Saved My Life 115

What Moving On Really Looks Like 120

"My Pus*y Knows Things" 123

"My Wife Won't Give Me Blow Jobs Anymore" 126

My Next Love Experience (Moving Through) 130

Street Art, a Parrot, and Long Hair I Couldn't Pull Off 136

Now Go Fuck Somebody 147

"I Knew on My Wedding Day It Was a Mistake" 150

Dating Apps, DMs, and the First Time I Did Molly 154

One of the Most Common Mistakes in Relationships 165

Act III The New You

Closure Isn't What You Think It Is 171

The Dog Died → I Finally Sat Down with My Ex-Wife → I Put My Hair Away 179

"Do You Date White Girls?" 184

The Picket Fence Has Splinters 191

How to Get a Life 195

Nothing Wrong Doesn't Mean There's Nothing Wrong 201

My First Mushroom Experience 205

Rip Up Your Blueprints 211

Reworth Yourself 216

Live at a Higher Frequency 221

It's Time to Believe Again 225

Final Thoughts: Every. Single. Day. 227

Single On Purpose Mixtape 229

Acknowledgments 235

Editorial Reviews

★ 11/02/2020

Angry Therapist blogger Kim (I Used to Be a Miserable F*ck) uses his own failed relationships as lessons in this laugh-out-loud guide to single life. Kim writes of how he frequently catches himself making many of the same mistakes that he talks through with his clients each week. After losing himself in one serious relationship after another and coming to the realization that “relationship dysfunction feels like crack cocaine,” Kim decides to attempt to happiness on his own. “Single is about being a whole person. Even when you’re in a relationship. In fact, especially when you’re in a relationship.” According to Kim, being happy—single or not—begins with three daily goals: meaning (finding purpose by pursuing one’s passion), joy (allowing oneself simple pleasures, such as a morning coffee), and engagement (turning one’s attention to others). Instead of pursuing perfect, Kim asks readers to question one’s thoughts, list nonnegotiables, and find what makes one feel most alive. (For Kim, it’s riding a motorcycle.) After all, “self-care doesn’t mean bubble baths and fancy brunches. It really means taking care of yourself daily like you would for someone you love.” Kim’s wry humor and approachable lessons will appeal to any single reader looking for encouragement. (Jan.)

Publishers Weekly

Kim’s wry humor and approachable lessons will appeal to any single reader looking for encouragement.” — Publishers Weekly

From the Publisher