Filled with practical ideas and workable solutions,
Side by Side is a gift from heaven for every spouse of a busy church servant. Drawing on her experience as the wife of a bishop and her expertise as a marriage and family therapist, author JeaNette Goates Smith shares proven survival skills for coping in a challenging season of service. Whether you are married to a bishop, a Primary president, or a Scoutmaster, this invaluable handbook will help you learn how the demanding roles of Church servant and devoted spouse can complement rather than compete with one another.
Published: September 2004
Pages: 304
Praise for Side by Side:
With all that life brings our way, it's a continual challenge to put forth effort to strengthen one's marriage in so many areas. The good news is this book approaches the areas spouses deal with in a very down-to-earth way—sort of like sitting down with the author and discussing things. In learning to be supportive to your spouse, you learn to take a broader look at the situation you and your spouse have entered into. These include learning to share his/her burden and lightening that burden, learning who can become a resource to you and provide assistance, learning the real meaning of being supportive, becoming an effective sounding board, counseling wisely, becoming the cheering committee of one when you may not feel like cheering, and learning to honor confidential information. All of these pertain to providing support to your spouse, but you need to be sure your needs are also being met when your spouse is very involved in church service. This is so important, but easy to neglect. Reading the areas the author suggests focusing on helps one understand that if you aren't working on safeguarding your relationship in the midst of competing priorities, combating feeling alone when your spouse is away, and finding ways to prevent yourself from feeling resentful—you will find yourself wondering, 'why is this happening to me?' If there are children in your home, it's important to help your children deal with being the examples that others to turn to frequently, plus helping them understand their feelings about their mom/dad being away from home more often due to their parent's new Church calling. It's a major challenge to smile and raise your attitude about giving extended service to the ward/branch you are in—to care as deeply as your spouse about the local flock. The suggestion to learn and recognize what your limits are and find ways to give service that won't drain you and also the encouragement to provide service as a couple and/or as a family when possible are very meaningful suggestions. Learn to look for signs that those you are serving are also putting forth their own effort. Don't become discouraged or resentful when others don't respond as we expect them to—the pleasant surprise may come down the road further.
I feel this book will really help anyone who reads it, as I wish I had read it earlier in my life when calls came my way to be president of the various auxillaries. It would be great if men would read this—but I would guess that not many would choose it—even if their spouse left it handy for them! Maybe the best way is to read the best parts to them.
—Judy Chapin of Tempe, Arizona
