Should I Stay or Should I Go?: Surviving A Relationship with a Narcissist

Should I Stay or Should I Go?: Surviving A Relationship with a Narcissist

by Ramani Durvasula, Ph.D.


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How do you know if you are in a relationship with a narcissist—and what can you do about it?

Narcissism is a modern epidemic—and it’s spreading rapidly. Narcissists tend to be pretty on the outside, but empty on the inside. While they are often successful, they are also controlling, manipulative, entitled, vain, and they have no empathy. If your significant other can be charismatic and charming one moment and leave you feeling disappointed, unsettled, and doubting yourself the next, you may be involved with a narcissist. This dangerous relationship can slowly ruin your sense of well-being and ultimately your psychological health. Sometimes leaving is the healthiest option. But sometimes it doesn’t feel like an option, and you may have powerful reasons for staying—for your children, financial security, religious beliefs, or simply because you are in love.

In Should I Stay or Should I Go? Dr. Ramani Durvasula gives you the tools to help you stop making the same mistakes. It shows you what to watch for and provides guidance on managing difficult situations. This honest survival manual is based on the real terrain of pathological narcissism and it provides a realistic roadmap of how to navigate this landscape and reclaim your true self, find healing and live an authentic and empowered life. Whether you stay—or go.

Product Details

ISBN-13: 9781618688781
Publisher: Post Hill Press
Publication date: 11/24/2015
Pages: 240
Sales rank: 432,601
Product dimensions: 5.60(w) x 8.40(h) x 1.20(d)

About the Author

Dr. Ramani Durvasula is a licensed clinical psychologist in private practice in Santa Monica, CA and Professor of Psychology at California State University, Los Angeles, where she was named Outstanding Professor in 2012.

Dr. Durvasula has been featured in television series on Oxygen, Bravo, Lifetime Movie Network, National Geographic, History Channel, Discovery Science, and Investigation Discovery, and is a featured TV and radio commentator on many national networks, including NBC’s Today Show, CNN, HLN, and Fox. Her expert commentary has been cited in a wide range of publications, including The New York Times, Chicago Tribune, Los Angeles Times, Glamour, Cosmopolitan, Men’s Health, and The Guardian, as well as a regular column in Muses & Visionaries Magazine. She has also published numerous peer-reviewed journal articles, book chapters, and scientific conference papers.

Personality disorders are a central focus of Dr. Durvasula’s research and clinical practice, and she works with men and women on managing these issues as partners, employees, and parents. Dr. Durvasula brings a unique expertise and voice as a professor, clinician, researcher, author, and media commentator.

Table of Contents

Prologue: The Scorpion and the Swan 1

Introduction: Is This You? 3

Chapter 1 A Survival Guide 13

Chapter 2 Narcissism Is the New Black 21

Chapter 3 Are You in a Relationship with a Narcissist? 39

Chapter 4 How Did You Get Sucked In? 105

Chapter 5 How Do They Make You Feel? 139

Chapter 6 It's Time to Let Go of the Rescue Fantasy 167

Chapter 7 Should I Stay? 175

Chapter 8 Should I Go? 215

Chapter 9 The Next Chapter 243

Appendix 265

Bibliography 267

Acknowledgments 271

About the Author 275

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