S.E.X., second edition: The All-You-Need-To-Know Sexuality Guide to Get You Through Your Teens and Twenties
480S.E.X., second edition: The All-You-Need-To-Know Sexuality Guide to Get You Through Your Teens and Twenties
480Paperback(Second Edition)
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Overview
As a teen or emerging adult, dealing with all the changes going on in your life, body, and mind can be mighty overwhelming. When it comes to sex, everyone seems to have strong feelings and opinions about who you should be and what you should (shouldn't) do. How do you decide who to listen to? Heather Corinna and Scarleteen have provided sex education and information to millions of young people, parents, and mentors since 1998; S.E.X. tackles all the big topics:
- Self-image and how to find and claim your own sexual self
- How to best protect and support your sexual and emotional health
- Sorting out gender and sexual identities, even when they're complicated and confusing
- The latest on contraceptive methods and other reproductive choices, sexually transmitted infections, and safer sex
- Finding, creating, and managing healthy and happy relationships
- How to set and respect limits and boundaries, and rock consent
- Identifying, preventing, or healing from abuse or assault
- ...and much more.
Whatever your gender or sexual identity, whether you've already been actively exploring your sexuality or are only just getting curious, S.E.X clearly spells out what you need and want to knowno shame, no judgement, just comprehensive and accurate info in a clear, straightforward language.
Product Details
ISBN-13: | 9780738218847 |
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Publisher: | Hachette Books |
Publication date: | 07/12/2016 |
Edition description: | Second Edition |
Pages: | 480 |
Sales rank: | 160,015 |
Product dimensions: | 7.30(w) x 8.90(h) x 1.30(d) |
Age Range: | 14 - 18 Years |
About the Author
Heather is also the author of S.E.X: The All-You-Need-To-Know Sexuality Guide to Get You Through Your Teens and Twenties, now in its second edition. Their award-winning work in sex and health education has received acclaim from Roxane Gay, Emily Nagoski, Ms. Magazine, BUST, Bitch, On Our Backs, the New York Times, and the ACLU, and their essays, fiction, poetry and photography have appeared in publications such as Teen Vogue and The Guardian.
Heather is navigating middle age with as much grace as they can muster (spoiler: not much), and currently lives and works in their hometown of Chicago.
Table of Contents
Thank You xiii
Foreword xvii
Judy Norsigian and Wendy Sanford, cofounders, The Boston Women's Health Collective, and coauthors of Our Bodies, Ourselves
Who's Tills look for, Anyway? 1
A Foreword for Parents, Teachers, Mentors, and Other People Who Care About Teens and Emerging Adults
1 Pledge Allegiance … to Myself and the United State of My Sexuality: 11
An Introduction for Readers
2 Your Sexuality and Your Body: An Owner's Manual 14
What Is "Sexuality"? 14
What Can Be Part of Sexuality? 15
Circles of Sexuality 16
Let's Talk About Sex 19
Mega-Metamorphosis: Puberty 20
Braaaaaaaaiiiinnns 24
Tingly Bits 25
Reproductive and Sexual Anatomy: What's Up Down There? 26
Every Body's Got One 26
You've Got Some Nerve! 27
The Vulva, Vagina, and Uterus: From the Outside In 27
Clit Lit 28
Life on the Inside 30
The Menstrual Cycle. Period 33
Where Can Aunt Flo Go? Menses Management 35
When the Rag's a Drag 37
Breast Basics 39
The Penis and Testes: From the Outside In 41
The Foreskin (or Not) 42
Life on the Inside 43
Vasocongestion (aka Blue Balls) 47
Too Loose/Too Tight! Too Long/Too Short! Too Large/Too Small! Or, What Goldilocks and the Three Bears Have to Do with Your Genitals 48
What's "Normal" Down There? 55
3 The Problem with Perfect: Body Image: Or, Why Appearance Isn't All It Appears 56
Body linage 57
Ten Bodacious Ways to Boost Body Image 57
Disordered Eating and Eating Disorders 61
Don't Make a Mate a Minor 62
Who's at Risk of Disordered Eating, Body Image, or Self-Image Problems? 63
The Ideal Spiel 64
Whole Body/Whole Sexy 66
Viva la Revolución! 67
4 Sex Starts with You: Arousal, Orgasm, Masturbation, and Fantasy 69
Arousal and Orgasm: Human Sexual Response Coming and Going 69
The Basics of Sexual Response 70
Sexual Desire 70
Annual 71
Plateau 72
Orgasm 72
Resolution 74
Ejaculation 75
How Do You Tell If You've Had an Orgasm? What If You Just Can't Have One, Ever? 76
Buzzkills 77
Masturbation: A Sexual Solo 78
False and True 79
How Do You Masturbate? 80
Keeping It Safe 81
But Only Losers Masturbate! 82
How Much Is Too Much? 82
Fantasy Fodder: Sexual Fantasy 83
Which Fantasies Are Okay, and Which Aren't? 84
And Your First Sex Partner Is … ? 84
5 So Much More Than Either/Or: Gender Identity and Sexual Orientation 86
Genderpalooza! A Sex and Gender Primer 86
Beyond the Binary 91
Trans-lation 92
Transition 92
Gender Confirmation Surgery 93
Transphobia, Discrimination, and Bias 93
Gendermending 95
How to Be Transfriendly and Subvert Crummy Gender and Orientation Stereotypes in Five Easy Steps! 96
The Rainbow Connection: The Spectrum of Sexual Orientation 97
What Do All These Words Mean? 97
Feeling, Not Just Doing 101
How Do I Know if I'm? 102
To Be or Not to Be: Is Sexual Orientation a Choice? 102
What Does It Mean to Be Queer, Bisexual, or Pansexual? 105
"Bad" Words 106
Coming Out 108
A Basic How-To 110
6 You, Me, and Everyone Else: Big Outside Influences on Your Sexuality 116
Your Family 117
What Makes a Family? 119
Your Friends and Peers 120
How to Ask Family or Friends to Turn Down the Volume 122
Media 124
What's "Media"? 124
Not Just What, but How 127
Sexual Entertainment Media 128
Pornography: Not Realistic Since Ever 129
All/Most/Some Sexual Media or Entertainment 130
The Worst of Us, Sexified 131
How Should We Feel About Sexual Entertainment? 132
"They Saw It in Porn, So Now They Want and Expect It from Me" 134
Making Sense of External Messages and Hearing Your Own Voice 136
7 On Board the Relationship 139
Relationship Should Be a Verb 140
The Scariest Tiling on Earth (or So You'd Think): Rejection 140
Dating: Different, Not a Dinosaur 142
Relationship Models: What Works for You? 147
Closed or Open? 149
Dating and Relationships 3.0 153
How Do Yon Find a Fantastic Relationship, Anyway? 154
On the Other Hand 155
In-Person Big Plans: Made Best in Person 156
Basic Online Safely 156
Safety Dance! 158
When Run, Don't Walk Is the Catchphrase 158
Without a Map: Relationships Outside the Box 158
Those Three Little Words 163
The Test of Time: Long-Term Relationships 164
What's Typical in Long-Term Relationships? 165
Looking Toward the Future 167
In Conflict 168
Conflict Resolution: A Crash Course 169
Dysfunction Junction: The Crummy Stuff 171
The Great Escape 172
Adventures in Splitsville: Breakups and How to Deal 175
When Is It Time? 175
How Do You Do It? 176
Healthy/Unhealthy 176
The Mourning After 178
"Just" Friends? 180
8 To Be, or Not to Be … Sexually Active 182
"It" 184
The Sexual Readiness Checklist 186
Great Sexpectations 188
Get Real: Unrealistic Expectations and Scenarios 189
No Harm, No Foul: Limits and Boundaries 191
Consenting 192
A (Not So) Basic Consent How-To 194
Explicit Consent: Using Words 194
Nonexplicit Consent 196
Accepting and Respecting Nonconsent 199
Considering Your Ethics, Beliefs, Culture, and Values 200
What's the Right Age for Sex? 203
To Plan or Not to Plan, That's the Question 203
Lights, Camera, Action! 203
Worst-Case Scenarios 204
But Wait- 205
Being a Prude (and Other Really Crappy Names for Choosing Not to Be Sexually Active) 205
Intimacy: Bonding Basics 206
Are You Mental? Yes! 207
Virginity: Past and Present 207
So, Who's a Virgin and Who Isn't? 208
Be a Blabbermouth! Communicating with Partners About Sex 209
How to Talk About Sex 209
Speaking Your Own Language 212
Body of Evidence: Legal Issues and Your Sex Life 212
How to Work the System So It Doesn't Work You 221
9 Popular Mechanics: The Ins and Outs of Sex with Partners 223
Kissing 225
Petting/Massage 226
Mutual Masturbation 228
Frottage or "Dry Sex" 228
Manual Sex 229
Oral Sex: Cunnilingus 231
Oral Sex: Fellatio 231
Oral Sex: Analingus 232
Vaginal Intercourse 234
Hip to the Hype: Common Intercourse Problems and Expectations 236
Anal Sex/Intercourse 239
Sexting, Cybersex, or Phone Sex 242
Sensation Play 243
"Kinky" Sex 243
Role-Play 243
Bondage/Restraint 246
Body Fluid or Blood Play 247
Sex Toys 247
Yes, No, Maybe So: A What-You-Want-and-How-You-Want-It Sex Checklist 250
The Ol' Give-and-Take: Sexual Symmetry, Reciprocity, and Equality 255
Reciprocity, Reloaded 255
Sex and Obligation 256
Faking It 257
Having Trouble Reaching Orgasm or Feeling Aroused with a Partner? 257
Who's in Charge? 259
Sexual Differences vs. Sexual Incompatibility 259
Aftercare 260
"Queer" Sex and "Straight" Sex: What's the Diff? 260
Sex and Disability 261
The Popular Mechanics Roundup: The Five Most Important Things to Remember During Partnered Sex 262
10 Safe and Sound: Safer Sex for Your Body, Heart, and Mind 264
Taking Care Down There: Sexual Health Care 264
Your Business, Their Business: Healthcare Confidentiality and Privacy 265
Before Your First Sexual Health Appointment 266
Who Provides Sexual or Reproductive Health Care? 267
Sexual Health Care for Beginners 267
Sexual Healthcare Discrimination: Roadblocks to Good Health 273
DIY Sexual Health Care 276
Check Yourself Out! 277
Urinary Tract, Bacterial, and Yeast Infections 280
Safer Sex 101 285
Quick STI Risk Assessment 286
Practicing Safer Sex: A Lesson in Three Parts 287
Why Practice Safer Sex? 288
Safer Sex, Part One: Barriers and Other Gear 288
Condoms 288
Dental Dams 295
Safer Sex, Part Two: Testing and Annual Sexual Health Exams 297
Safer Sex, Part Three: Lifestyle Issues… 300
Easy Ways to Incorporate Safer Sex into Your Sex Life 302
"Don't You Trust Me?" 303
What If Your Partner Won't Practice Safer Sex? 304
What If You Do Get an STI? 305
How to Make Disclosing an STI Easier 307
11 Harm's Way: Abuse and Assault (and What You Can Do About Them) 310
The Ugly Truth: Statistics 312
More Vulnerable = More Vulnerable to Abuse 312
Types of Abuse 313
Abuse Does All This 318
"But I Love Them" 319
The Cycle of Abuse 320
Taking the Blinders Off; Identifying and Coping with Interpersonal Violence and Abuse 321
Listen, Tell, Leave 323
Breaking the Cycle 326
Protecting Yourself from Abusive Partners and Relationships 329
Can't Happen to You? 329
Protecting Each Other from Abuse 330
If You or Someone You Know Has Just Been Sexually Abused or Assaulted 331
Bystander Intervention Basics 332
Healing and Dealing 338
Healing 101 339
12 To Be or Not to Be … Pregnant: Contraception 344
No Birds, No Bees, No Bull: How Conception Really Happens 347
The Birth Control Breakdown 351
Abstinence 353
Barrier Methods 354
Condoms 355
Diaphragms and Cervical Caps 356
Contraceptive Sponge 358
Hormonal Methods 359
Combined Oral Contraceptives, aka the Pill or BCP 360
The Vaginal Ring 362
The Patch 363
The Injection (Depo-Provera) 364
The Implant 365
IUDs 366
Emergency Contraception (EC) 368
Birth Control Methods Not Generally Recommended for Young People 370
Withdrawal (aka "Pulling Out") 370
Fertility Charting/Natural Family Planning (FAM) 371
Permanent Birth Control (Sterilization) 373
What Isn't a Method of Birth Control? 373
It Doesn't Take a Village … but It's Awfully Nice to Have One: Birth Control Discussion with Partners and Parents 374
Discussion with Partners 374
Reproductive Choice, Sans Uterus 377
Discussions with Parents 380
13 Oh, Baby (or Not)! Reproduction and Reproductive Options 382
13 How Can You Tell If You're Pregnant? 382
How Long Have You Got to Decide? 383
Pregnancy and Delivery Basics 384
Labor Day 386
Miscarriage: What It Is and Why It Happens 388
Reproductive Options: Parenting, Adoption, and Abortion 391
Parenthood 391
Young Adult Parenting: Perils, Pitfalls, and Perks 391
If You're Considering Parenting 396
The Adoption Option 396
Abortion: Terminating a Pregnancy 398
Medical Abortion 398
Surgical Abortion 399
What to Expect During an Abortion 400
Unloading a Loaded Issue 402
To Tell or Not to Tell 404
How to Tell Partners and Parents About an Unexpected Pregnancy 404
Telling Partners 405
Telling Parents 407
For the "Dads" 408
Big Impacts, Big Choices 409
14 How to Change the World (Without Even Getting Out of Bed!) 411
Appendix A Common Sexually Transmitted Infections: STIs from A to Z 415
Appendix B Bibliography and Recommended Resources 428
The People in Your Neighborhood: Your DIY Local Resource Page 445
Index 447