See What You Made Me Do: The Dangers of Domestic Abuse That We Ignore, Explain Away, or Refuse to See

by Jess Hill

Overview

A deeply researched mental abusebook from an award-winning journalist that uncovers the ways in which abusers exert control in the darkest—and most intimate—ways imaginable.

A gripping and eye-opening exposé that courageously confronts the dangers society often turns a blind eye to. This groundbreaking book sheds light on the insidious nature of domestic abuse, challenging our preconceived notions and urging us to acknowledge the horrifying reality many victims face.

In this compelling narrative, investigative journalist Jess Hill meticulously unravels the complexities of domestic abuse, examining the subtle nuances that perpetuate the cycle of violence. Drawing on extensive research, powerful real-life stories, and compelling statistics, Hill reveals the harrowing truths we collectively choose to ignore, explain away, or simply refuse to see.

See What You Made Me Do is an indispensable resource that empowers readers to identify and dismantle the myths surrounding domestic abuse, challenging us all to take a stand against this pervasive social issue. By understanding the psychology of abuse and the mechanisms that enable its perpetuation, we can collectively work towards creating a safer and more compassionate society.

Whether you're an advocate, survivor, or concerned citizen, this thought-provoking book serves as a catalyst for change, urging us to confront the uncomfortable truths about domestic abuse and inspire actionable steps towards a future free from violence.

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9781728222271
Publisher:	Sourcebooks
Publication date:	09/01/2020
Sold by:	Barnes & Noble
Format:	eBook
Pages:	464
Sales rank:	281,884
File size:	1 MB

Table of Contents

Notes on My Methods xi

Introduction xv

Chapter 1 The Perpetrator's Handbook 1

Chapter 2 The Underground 37

Chapter 3 The Abusive Mind 84

Chapter 4 Shame 117

Chapter 5 Patriarchy 144

Chapter 6 Children 171

Chapter 7 When Women Use Violence 207

Chapter 8 State of Emergency 241

Chapter 9 Through the Looking Glass 276

Chapter 10 Dadirri 309

Chapter 11 Fixing It 366

Acknowledgments 399

Notes 403

Index 427

About the Author 437

Editorial Reviews

08/10/2020

Australian journalist Hill examines the individual and societal mechanisms of domestic abuse in this original and persuasive account. She compares the tactics of abusers, such as isolation, gaslighting, and surveillance, to the torture methods that led American POWs to defect to China during WWII; profiles women protecting themselves and their children from abuse they’re unable to escape; discredits victim-blaming narratives; and explains how rationalizing abuse can be a “sophisticated coping mechanism.” Hill argues that if abusers are seen as “complex humans with their own needs and sensitivities,” they can be enabled to address their “supercharged sense of entitlement” and fear of shame, and understand how the patriarchy has taught them to think about men’s power and vulnerability. Hill also examines the social and legal structures that facilitate abuse, including police inaction to domestic violence calls and courts that disregard the testimony of children. Her solutions include therapeutic models that understand an abuser’s pain but center accountability and the encouragement of community involvement in domestic violence cases. Hill’s lucid history of cultural attitudes toward domestic violence and harrowing survivor testimonies combine to powerful effect. This is a nuanced and eye-opening study of a hidden crisis. (Sept.)

Publishers Weekly

"an exhaustive, horrifying, and compelling consideration of domestic abuse, in its many guises and from multiple perspectives. " — Booklist

"Hill’s lucid history of cultural attitudes toward domestic violence and harrowing survivor testimonies combine to powerful effect. This is a nuanced and eye-opening study of a hidden crisis. " — Publishers Weekly

"In See What You Made Me Do, Jess Hill provides a well-researched book on everything there is to know about domestic abuse... Hill writes with precision and a true passion for the topic. There is more to domestic violence than physical abuse, and you will learn about it all in this book. " — San Francisco Book Review

From the Publisher

2020-05-29
An Australian journalist finds countless faults with how society treats those who endure domestic violence.

Hill is all over the map, literally and figuratively, in this exploration of how “victims of domestic abuse have been blamed by the public, maligned by the justice system, and pathologized by psychiatrists.” After winning the Stella Prize for the Australian edition, the author has revised the book heavily for the North American market, and she finds antecedents for homegrown domestic abuse in the “deeply patriarchal and deeply sexist” views of the Puritans. Hill has a wealth of insight into why women stay with abusive partners; how the police and courts fail those who have suffered; the unique vulnerabilities of Aboriginal people; and the varied types of “coercive controllers,” who need more than one-size-fits-all “anger management” programs. The author also finds innovative solutions in countries including Argentina, which has special police stations for women, resembling living rooms with play spaces for children, where female victims find under one roof all the services they need—“lawyers, social workers, psychologists.” Hill stumbles, however, in analyzing the U.S., most notably when she suggests that in America, as elsewhere, “2014 will likely stand as the year when the Western world finally started taking men’s violence against women seriously,” in part because that was the year that NFL star Ray Rice assaulted his fiancee, Janay Palmer. In fact, as Rachel Louise Snyder writes in the excellent No Visible Bruises, the U.S. watershed came two decades earlier, when “Nicole Brown Simpson became the face of a new kind of victim” and Congress passed the Violence Against Women Act. Hill’s global perspective is valuable—as is a chapter on women who abuse men—but Snyder’s book has a firmer grasp of the American issues.

An exposé of domestic abuse that portrays other countries more convincingly than it does the U.S.

Kirkus Reviews