See Through Myself: A Memoir

by Colby Van Wagoner

Overview

A child survives the miracle of birth. Regrettably, the doctor discovers an abnormality. Born March 7th, 1973 as the 28th recorded birth to survive with a diagnosis of Eagle-Barrett Syndrome. The rare birth defect involves three triads of urological complications. Continued survival meant multiple surgeries, painful examinations, with tubes inserted into the urethra as the corrective procedures healed. The doctor’s frightening revelations, “a child rarely survives to the age of two.” Each birthday celebration an unknown, "The chance for your survival to the age of sixteen is rare," with the doctor's disturbing prognosis. Facing consistent thoughts of dying became all earliest memories of childhood. Over a lifespan with Eagle-Barrett Syndrome resulted in insecurities over perceived body images and no instruction manual to process emotional frustrations, how to interact and socially behave, and face an upsetting divorce. Attempts to navigate life failed, facing physical assault, abuse, and addiction. Achievements of successes through overcoming addiction and relapse, surviving traumatic brain injury, and the loss of a loving mother to dementia. Trials and struggles, persistence, and courage, led to inspirational transitions into adulthood. Coming from rock bottom, addiction, suicidal ideation, and hopelessness, to healing and mindfulness, came an ability to achieve a bachelor's, master's degree, and continue to earning a PH.D. in psychology, my imperfections.

Product Details

BN ID:	2940163464401
Publisher:	Colby Van Wagoner
Publication date:	02/05/2020
Sold by:	Smashwords
Format:	eBook
Sales rank:	532,999
File size:	286 KB

About the Author

Colby Van Wagoner is a versatile and descriptive American author. Offering a variety of genres, the vision is to create unique plots and exciting twists in storytelling. His first book release, Massacre Cave, was written as part of a trilogy called "The Crow Mountain Series". The Crow Mountain books evolve around the Navajo shape shifter, commonly referred to as the Skinwalker, blending between combinations of horror and classic authentic late 1800s western authenticity.

H.H. Holmes: The Devil In Me, is Colby's fourth full length release and best seller. The book is based on the true events of America's first captured, tried, and sentenced, "termed" and documented serial killer. Chicago's twisted killer H.H. Holmes. The book presents a unique and controversial twist, which delves deep inside the mind and from the serial killer's point of view.

A 5th book release, Earth Mongers, combines historical events in an unexpected science fiction twisting finale, which explores a thrilling new approach to natural disasters, and global disasters. On the brink of global catastrophe, populations are forced to look at their choices, leaders of countries are forced to make tough decisions, or face extinction.

Dead in Love is Colby Van Wagoner's 6th, and first, release in "The Dead" Zombie double release. In a small town, local residents rumor of the military's basic operations and chemical experiments taking place inside. In their complicit living is the facility's development of two separate and top secret compounds, tested on lab animals and soon local humans mysteriously removed from nearby hospitals and the local surrounding. Baxter a local resident, is soon caught up in a secretive fight to save himself and the love of his life, Laylianna, during the impending outbreak.

Volume One is a collection of eight horror novellas that stretch between the paranormal and supernatural. Released in 2013. As a young child, Aurora discovers, "Baby Doll Head" a vessel possessing mysterious mind control powers. Stories include a family of inbreds who terrorize and seek to control families inside the Cult House. A Love Not Lost, explores an aging embalmer who has lost touch with reality after the loss of his wife. Alex in Horrorland takes a young boy on a journey through an imaginary world of horror. A group of travelers board a train and fall victim to a family of rail workers in Blood, Flesh, and Bone. The Shadows of Kayakoy come to life as a group of travelers make a terrible choice to remain overnight in the ghost town. Bleak, the end of all existence? Finally, Aurora's all grown up in Parallel, where her realities unite and realities occur in real time as she mentally deteriorates. She is committed to an asylum, influenced by nightmares and the supernatural, Volume One takes readers on a rollercoaster ride of suspense and horror.

Compound is about a group of diverse travelers making their way through a Brazilian quarantine zone. Fleeing from town to town, the travelers attempt to survive and seek refuge from a viral outbreak.

Fever is about a Texas Ranger witnessing the murders of his family. Texas Ranger Zeke Slade takes matters into his own hands. Instead of bringing his family's killers to justice, to stand trial, he makes the decision to serve his own justice, avenging the murders of his family on his own terms, breaking his oath as a Texas Ranger. The Adjutant General offers Zeke Slade the choice of facing prison time, or accepting a marshal position in an Alaskan mining town, Fever.

The Jack and Jillian Book Series are Colby Van Wagoner's children's books. Jack and Jillian write about learning and creating new things. They write about the sports they are learning, how to play safely, and learning the rules to play fair. Jack and Jillian also learn about art and how to create different forms of art. The series is aimed at encouraging, challenging young minds, and motivating them to remain active, both physically and mentally.

Massacre Cave, Crow Mountain, Return to Crow Mountain, H.H. Holmes: The Devil In Me, Earth Mongers, Dead in Love, Volume One, the Jack and Jillian Children's Book Series, Compound, and Fever are available online at Amazon.com, Barnes and Noble.com, and other U.S. and international book retailers. In its first month out Colby Van Wagoner's books have reached the top 50 on the Amazon bestsellers rank!

After experiencing a traumatic brain injury in 2014, which required a craniotomy and recovery, Colby Van Wagoner completed a bachelor's and master's degree in psychology. After 4 years of recovery and adjustment to the physical and mental challenges, he was able to complete a new title called, A Time for Heroes: 2017 Las Vegas Shooting. The book was completed in 2018 and covers the tragic Las Vegas mass shooting through first hand witness accounts, local law enforcement's and the FBI's official case files. Working with factual combined evidence, and a thorough historical background on the shooter, the detailed research and work includes a full psychological and behavioral profile assessment of mass shooter, Stephen Paddock. The book also accounts harrowing and gripping stories of survival and honors, in remembrance, those who were lost in the Las Vegas, Nevada public attack.

Colby continues to challenge his writing style and plots, improve his craft through learning different writing and editing techniques, through distinct and unique story progression, while combining historical events and exciting fictional exploration and original ideas.