The Secrets of Happily Married Women: How to Get More Out of Your Relationship by Doing Less

by Scott Haltzman, Theresa Foy DiGeronimo

Overview

From the authors of the best-selling The Secrets of Happily Married Men comes the much-anticipated follow-up book The Secrets of Happily Married Women. In their first book, Dr. Haltzman and his coauthor Theresa Foy DiGeronmio outlined a recipe for men about growing a happy marriage: treat marriage with the same sense of purpose, resolve, and single-minded devotion that they have for their job. Although that workplace formula works well for men, an entirely different set of criteria resonate with women.

In The Secrets of Happily Married Women, Dr. Haltzman tells us stories from real women who are happy in their relationships. These women know how to get more out of their partners by doing less, by not trying so hard to make men perfect, not dragging them to couples therapy, not expecting them to think or behave like a woman. These are women from Dr. Haltzman's clinical practice and culled from thousands of contributors to his Web site www.HappilyMarriedWomen.com. They have learned to understand how men really work and tap into men's powerful hard-wired desire to please women and "be a better man."

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9780470401804
Publisher:	Wiley
Publication date:	01/05/2009
Pages:	224
Product dimensions:	5.60(w) x 8.60(h) x 0.80(d)

About the Author

THE AUTHORS

DR. SCOTT HALTZMAN is clinical assistant professor of psychiatry and human behavior at Brown University and medical director of NRI Community Services in Rhode Island. He also has an active private practice, with a focus on marriage counsel-ing for individuals and couples. You can reach him at [e-mail].

THERESA FOY DIGERONIMO is the author of more than fifty books in the fields of education, parenting, and family relationships.

Read an Excerpt

Click to read or download

Table of Contents

Acknowledgments vii

Introduction 1

1. Know Your Husband 7

2. Nurture His Needs—and Yours 45

3. Fight Better 63

4. Talk Less 103

5. Have Lots of Sex 127

6. Take Charge of Your Own Happiness 163

7. Heal Thyself 191

Epilogue: When Mamma’s Happy, Everybody’s Happy 209

Notes 211

About the Authors 215

What People are Saying About This

From the Publisher

"If you're a married woman, buy this book. It's love insurance. Haltzman doesn't only understand men, he "gets" women too; he's bi-lingual. He'll help you understand why the things you do to get through to your husband don't always work and more importantly, what you can do you differently to get better results. His concrete, do-able, field-tested and practical tips will, without question, make your husband, your marriage and you happier and grateful you’ve followed his advice."
—Michele Weiner-Davis, MSW, Author of Divorce Busting and Getting Through to the Man You Love

"Wives, what we've all been longing for has finally arrived. This masterpiece eliminates the womanly guesswork and illuminates the path to true marital happiness with honest, sincere, frank (and even humorous) information."
—Sheryl P. Kurland, Relationship/Marriage Trainer, Author, Everlasting Matrimony: Pearls Of Wisdom From Couples Married 50 Years Or More www.EverlastingMatrimony.com

"What a relief to read a book that makes so much sense. Haltzman's keen insight into male and female differences and insightful counsel about how to create marital happiness should be a read by all couples who want a formula for a passionate marriage. I heartily recommend this book to both men and women."
—Harville Hendrix, Ph.D. Author, Getting the Love You Want: A Guide for Couples

"Every woman can benefit through understanding how to bring out the best in a man. Scott Haltzman brilliantly reveals this secret."
—John Gray, author Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus

"Scott Haltzman has made the deep secrets of happy marriage accessible, memorable, and inspiring. He writes with a light touch that makes the reading thoroughly enjoyable. Don't miss this engaging book!"
—Susan Page, author, Why Talking Is Not Enough: 8 Loving Actions That Will Transform Your Marriage and If I’m so Wonderful, Why am I Still Single?

"This book delivers! "The Secrets of Happily Married Women" is jam-packed with research, ancient truths, street-smart wisdom, and years of advice from the psychiatrist’s couch. Page after page provides a sensitive, sensible guide to a satisfying relationship."
—Patricia Love, Ed.D., Certified Love Educator, co-author How To Improve Your Marriage Without Talking About It

"This groundbreaking book combines a pro-female, pro-male, and pro-marriage approach to life and couple satisfaction. It's very user-friendly with shared secrets and research gems coupled with a large dose of humor that makes clinical points personally relevant and easy to relate to. The sex self-test in Chapter 5 was a particularly effective tool to help set realistic expectations. This will be a particularly helpful book for couples to increase understanding, acceptance, and value their lives and marriage."
—Barry McCarthy, PhD, professor of psychology, American University, Author of Rekindling Desire and Getting it Right this Time

"Buy this book! Then keep it handy, like on the shelf next to your most treasured cookbooks. (Although, as it makes clear, the way to your man's heart is not through his stomach.) Myths busted. Mystery solved. It turns out you've already got what it takes, you just need to get out of your own way and start blooming where you're planted ­ with a man that really does want to love you."
—Diane Sollee, founder and director, Smartmarriages.com

"Finally. The first book that men will want women to read! Scott Haltzman has created a practical gem that allows women to focus on learning how to receive love from their husband. He advocates the Platinum (not Golden) Rule and urges women to "Do Unto Your Husband What He Wants Done Unto Him," so they can find the marital happiness they long for."
—Jon Carlson, PsyD, EdD, Distinguished Professor, Governors State University, Author, Time For A Better Marriage

"Dr. Haltzman uses clear and practical language to show women how to engage and support their husband in their efforts to please them. He shares the "secrets" women really need to know about men, so this book is a "must-read!" Put reading this book at the start of your New Year's resolutions."
—Susan L. Blumberg Ph.D., coauthor, Fighting for Your Marriage and 12 Hours to a Great Marriage

Editorial Reviews

As Haltzman (psychiatry & human behavior, Brown Univ.; The Secrets of Happily Married Men) knows-he’s been married for 20 years-the idea of shaping one’s marriage without it seeming like another job appeals to most women. Together with DiGeronimo (Raising Baby Green), he here proposes that men are hardwired to please women and that if a knowledgeable wife tailors her message to the way her husband can hear it, she will enjoy a deeper connection and achieve happiness without compromise. In a manner somewhat similar to John Gray’s in Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus, the authors advise married female readers to speak in shorter sentences, directly ask for what they want, and take charge of their own spiritual and intellectual need. Well done and recommended to update marital self-help sections.-Deborah Bigelow, Director, Leonia P.L., NJ (Library Journal, January 2008)

“…this delightful...humorous and entertaining book is a must- read for savvy brides-to-be.” (Ladies First, Spring 2008) 

From the Publisher