A wife of 23 years and mother of four grown sons, Krasnow (Surrendering to Marriage) advises wives that if they care about their families they "should find a way to make their marriage work." To this end, Krasnow has compiled the strategies for marital commitment of more than 200 women from across America who range in ethnicity, economic status, level of education, age when they married (from 15 to 70 years). Several know the self-affirming value of separate vacations and passions: Gail spends summers solo, painting in Italy, returning energized. Likewise, empty-nester Tracey, who has wonderful memories of her childhood sails with her father, became a yacht salesperson. Shelley turned infidelity to her advantage: her husband's affair with her best friend reinvigorated her marriage rather than destroying it Shauna compartmentalizes her life: because her husband, a good father and provider, is uninterested in sex, she has a landscaper boyfriend who loves sex. Perhaps the best advice comes from a Bengali in an arranged marriage who says women have to take responsibility for their own happiness. Although often trite, overwritten, and unfocused, this is also a spirited, frequently perceptive work that aims to fix marriages by empowering wives. (Oct.)
The Secret Lives of Wives: Women Share What It Really Takes to Stay Married
Narrated by Bernadette Dunne
Iris KrasnowUnabridged — 9 hours, 16 minutes
The Secret Lives of Wives: Women Share What It Really Takes to Stay Married
Narrated by Bernadette Dunne
Iris KrasnowUnabridged — 9 hours, 16 minutes
Overview
A bestselling, groundbreaking author investigates wives who thrive, sharing their uncensored strategies for staying married.
America's high divorce rate is well known, but little attention has been paid to the flip side: couples who creatively (sometimes clandestinely) manage to build marriages that last longer than we ever thought possible. What's the secret? To find out, bestselling journalist Iris Krasnow interviewed more than two hundred wives whose marriages have survived for fifteen to seventy years. They are a diverse cast, yet they share one common and significant trait: they have made bold, sometimes secretive and shocking, choices on how to keep their marital vows, “till death do us part,” as Krasnow says, “without killing someone first.”
In raw, candid, titillating stories, Krasnow's cast of wise women give voice to the truth about marriage and the importance of maintaining a strong sense of self apart from the relationship. Some spend summers apart. Some make time for wine with the girls. One septuagenarian has a recurring date with an old flame from high school. In every case, the marriage operates on many tracks, giving both spouses license to pursue the question, who am I apart from my marriage? Krasnow's goal is to give women permission to create their own marriages at any age. Marital bliss is possible, she says, if each partner is blissful apart from the other.
A fascinating window on the many faces of modern relationships, The Secret Lives of Wives brims with inspiring and daring examples of women who have it both ways: a committed marriage and personal adventures in uncharted territory. For anyone who wants to stay married and stay sane, this is the book to read.
Editorial Reviews
"At first this book terrified me: another submission and sacrifice marriage manual for wives? Instead Iris Krasnow delivers astonishing candor, realistic compassion, and invaluable wisdom when it comes to how paradoxically infuriating and rewarding long-term marriages can be. The best book on marriage ever." — Leslie Morgan Steiner
“In this breathtaking book The Secret Lives of Wives, Iris Krasnow opens a window into the inner world of women whose unique courage and vision has enabled them to find relationship happiness over the long term. With wit and wisdom, she thoughtfully tells their stories and then fills the reader with brilliant ideas and concepts to apply to their own lives. This is as much of a men’s book as it was written by and for women.” — Dr. Bill Cloke
“Iris Krasnow has managed to demystify the workings of long-term marriages by confirming the mysterious uniqueness of each one. The secret, she finds, lies in the way two people negotiate their own personal amalgam of companionship and sex, compromise and disappointment, lust and tenderness, trust and lies. The challenge for the rest of us is to do the same.” — Suzanne Braun Levine
“She whips up a spirited, enlightening cocktail of comfort, support and grace. Fulfilling and well-structured.” — Kirkus Reviews
“One of Ten Titles to Pick Up Now. ‘Boyfriends with boundaries,’ separate summers, and other therapeutic strategies for maintaining wedded bliss over the long haul.” — O, The Oprah Magazine
Sounding mature and comfortable with who she is, Bernadette Dunne narrates this enlightening collection of interviews. Her voice is worldly but not condescending, and her empathetic interpretations of poignant quotes are well nuanced.”
One of Ten Titles to Pick Up Now. ‘Boyfriends with boundaries,’ separate summers, and other therapeutic strategies for maintaining wedded bliss over the long haul.
Iris Krasnow has managed to demystify the workings of long-term marriages by confirming the mysterious uniqueness of each one. The secret, she finds, lies in the way two people negotiate their own personal amalgam of companionship and sex, compromise and disappointment, lust and tenderness, trust and lies. The challenge for the rest of us is to do the same.”
In this breathtaking book The Secret Lives of Wives, Iris Krasnow opens a window into the inner world of women whose unique courage and vision has enabled them to find relationship happiness over the long term. With wit and wisdom, she thoughtfully tells their stories and then fills the reader with brilliant ideas and concepts to apply to their own lives. This is as much of a men’s book as it was written by and for women.”
"At first this book terrified me: another submission and sacrifice marriage manual for wives? Instead Iris Krasnow delivers astonishing candor, realistic compassion, and invaluable wisdom when it comes to how paradoxically infuriating and rewarding long-term marriages can be. The best book on marriage ever."
Some couples do stay hooked. Author of the New York Times best-selling Surrendering to Marriage, Krasnow interviewed women with long-lasting marriages and discovered that things work best when both partners have a sense of self separate from the marriage. Since Krasnow regularly speaks to women's groups, often addressing 1000-plus women a month, she'll have an audience.
Sounding mature and comfortable with who she is, Bernadette Dunne narrates this enlightening collection of interviews. Her voice is worldly but not condescending, and her empathetic interpretations of poignant quotes are well nuanced. The stories, selected from interviews with more than 200 women, show how at various stages of life each one came to understand who her husband is and is not, what she can expect and not expect from him. Coping strategies ranged from having affairs to connecting with friends or abandoned childhood passions; the open-minded author never judges. Her understated message is to individuate but not detach and to initiate honest communication when issues become intolerable. It’s eye-opening advice that a reliable romantic partnership is important but shouldn’t be the primary source of a woman’s happiness and fulfillment. T.W. Winner of AudioFile Earphones Award © AudioFile 2011, Portland, Maine
Marital mysteries revealed by women who hold the keys to wedded bliss. After marriage, writes Krasnow (I Am My Mother's Daughter: Making Peace with Mom—Before It's Too Late, 2007, etc.), comes learning to live with your spouses' myriad idiosyncrasies, and later on, figuring out how to love that bloated, wrinkled oaf camped out on your living-room couch. The author's latest is an informative look into the lives of married women set alongside Krasnow's scrutiny of her own marriage. She whips up a spirited, enlightening cocktail of comfort, support and grace, in which women from all walks of life describe their relationships with their spouses both before and after marriage. Krasnow investigates how women have been able to maintain their happiness and sanity within their family lives, particularly during times of hardship, loneliness, despair and self-discovery. But marriage isn't always rosy, and its appeal can fluctuate—indeed, one of the book's most engaging passages explores why the popularity of marriage has waned over the years. When discussing marriage through history, the author cites artist and poet Georgia O'Keeffe, a woman who loved her husband, the celebrated photographer Alfred Stieglitz, but who pinned much of her matrimonial success on the fact that she was able to separate the personal and professional aspects of her life. Finally, Krasnow urges readers to remember the importance of including romance in marriage, suggesting that each romantic memory builds years onto a successful marriage. Fulfilling and well-structured.
Product Details
| BN ID: | 2940169808056 |
|---|---|
| Publisher: | Blackstone Audio, Inc. |
| Publication date: | 09/29/2011 |
| Edition description: | Unabridged |
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