Publishers Weekly
10/17/2022
New York Times opinion writer Grose (Sad Desk Salad) explores the unrealistic expectations that plague contemporary mothers in this stirring account. Grose first offers a history of the “insidious ideals” behind motherhood in the U.S.: In colonial times, women were “thought to be more susceptible to the devil while they were pregnant,” and a trend in the 1940s and ’50s saw mothers being blamed for their children’s mental illnesses. Grose then brings things up to date: visions of an “ideal,” beautiful pregnancy often hide mental health problems; women are expected to sacrifice their own well-being for their children’s needs; and workplaces are generally unsupportive of mothers’ need. She finds cause for optimism in potential societal changes that “have to be multipronged—a combination of political shifts, workplace shifts, and interpersonal shifts.” She calls for paid family leave for all workers, affordable childcare, and taking action in one’s own community by, for example, donating to a local diaper bank. Grose is candid about her own experience as a mother, and moving stories from other women who have felt the weight of “unrealistic, elitist, and bigoted expectations” add heft to her survey. Mothers struggling to keep their heads above water will find camaraderie in this empathetic outing. (Dec.)
From the Publisher
"Fierce, timely, unflinching." — New York Times Book Review
"If this book feels like it’s sounding the alarm on the state of American motherhood, well, that’s because it is." — San Francisco Chronicle
"Journalist Grose weaves together history, memoir and interviews with hundreds of women to persuasively propose a saner future for all." — People
"In the all-too-timely Screaming on the Inside, Jessica Grose is direct and bracing in her assessment of how horrifically the United States serves its mothers and, in turn, its children. Enraging and elucidating, it's also a pleasure to read." — Rebecca Traister, author of Good and Mad: The Revolutionary Power of Women's Anger and writer-at-large for New York Magazine and The Cut
"Like every mom, I, too, have screamed on the inside (and sometimes on the outside) while raising my four kids. I just want to do a good job—but that can feel like the impossible dream at times. Screaming on the Inside: The Unsustainability of American Motherhood helps us understand how mothers got to this place of outsized expectations from society and from ourselves. Jessica Grose has spent a career talking with experts and parents and has now mined her wealth of knowledge to write a book that is long overdue." — Soledad O'Brien
“Eminently readable…It takes a succinct and accessible book to open a conversation with people who may not otherwise read a book ‘about motherhood’…. Vindicates the frustration of American mothers, but is as crucial a read for those who have never changed a diaper in their lives.” — Boston Globe
"This is the rare book that is both important for how we think about policy solutions to serious social problems, and also incredibly relatable and hard to put down." — Emily Oster, author of Expecting Better, Cribsheet and The Family Firm
“This is the book I've been waiting for on contemporary motherhood: historically rooted, incisive, empathic, furious, while always asking how we actually move forward. If you think Screaming on the Inside is just a book for moms, you're very wrong.” — Anne Helen Petersen, author of Out of the Office and Can’t Even and writer of Culture Study
"Grose’s fiery compassion is matched by her profoundly complex understanding of the material and her trenchant, witty prose.... A deeply researched and highly relatable analysis of American motherhood, past and present." — Kirkus Reviews (starred review)
“Stirring. …Mothers struggling to keep their heads above water will find camaraderie in this empathetic outing.” — Publishers Weekly
“It's hard to imagine a mother (or other) who won't feel seen somewhere in Grose's accessible, empathetic, data-driven report.” — Booklist
“Melding personal narrative with clear-eyes reportage from the front lines, [Grose] works to redefine what exactly a ‘mother’ is, or should be, in a society that demands so much more from its childbearing women than it has to offer.” — Los Angeles Times
“[Grose] breaks down all the expectations and leaves behind an analysis that will surely free any mother of the burden of doing it all.” — Shondaland
“Compelling, razor-sharp, and deeply personal." — Christian Science Monitor
author of Expecting Better Emily Oster
This is the rare book that is both important for how we think about policy solutions to serious social problems, and also incredibly relatable and hard to put down.”
Library Journal
11/01/2022
New York Times opinion writer Grose, one of the estimated 7–20% of women who have experienced perinatal anxiety and depression, reached a point of desperation during week 10 of her pregnancy. In this book, she reflects on that experience and busts parenting myths like the notion that good mothers should be self-sacrificing, or that mothers must do everything. The author examines the emotional tumult felt by struggling parents and explores online culture, an atmosphere where Black voices are often ignored; the blogosphere has a limited view on parenting; and platforms, such as Instagram, have increased perfectionist expectations. The pandemic created new struggles as layoffs disproportionately affected women, especially single BIPOC mothers. Many people entered crisis mode, and hardship chain reactions occurred due to financial difficulties and the increase in second-shift work. VERDICT Though the info might not be surprising, this is a validating look at contemporary parenting.
Kirkus Reviews
★ 2022-09-17
How historical constructions of American motherhood have rendered modern motherhood an almost impossible task.
Grose, a journalist who writes a parenting column for the New York Times, opens with a brief historical section on parenting in early America. “Unlike today,” she writes, “where most guidance is directed toward mothers, in colonial times written guidance for parents was addressed to both mothers and fathers.” As the author shows, eventually, the racist drive to increase the White population and to separate upper-class White women from their working-class and Black peers led to the reification of gender roles and, more specifically, the concept of the model mother who was dedicated to her children above all else while being confined in her home. In modern times, the expectation that women are primarily responsible for childhood has continued, with devastating and, at times, deeply contradictory effects. For example, Grose illustrates how social media accounts run by mostly White influencer mothers both reinforce harmful ideals of perfectionism while also providing mothers in conservative families one of their only sources of income and connection to the outside world. The author ends the book on a note of hope, profiling mothers whose passion for parenting their children has led them to begin activist movements designed to reform the overlapping systems that keep American parents and children from getting the physical and emotional support they need to thrive. Grose’s fiery compassion is matched by her profoundly complex understanding of the material and her trenchant, witty prose. Although she consciously includes the voices of diverse, modern mothers, her analysis is sometimes more relevant to White, heterosexual, cisgendered mothers, particularly in the historical sections. Still, the author is clear in her intent to be inclusive, and her topic is relevant and worthy of discussion.
A deeply researched and highly relatable analysis of American motherhood, past and present.
