Say This, Not That: A Foolproof Guide to Effective Interpersonal Communication

Say This, Not That: A Foolproof Guide to Effective Interpersonal Communication

by Carl Alasko Ph. D.
Say This, Not That: A Foolproof Guide to Effective Interpersonal Communication

Say This, Not That: A Foolproof Guide to Effective Interpersonal Communication

by Carl Alasko Ph. D.

Paperback

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Overview

This simple, straightforward guide to effective communication is for anyone who has ever wanted to “eat their words.”
 
Do you ever feel that your words produce the exact opposite effect of what you were hoping for—escalating tensions rather than solving problems? Author of Emotional Bullshit Carl Alasko has found that with the right guidance, anyone can learn effective communication skills. In Say This, Not That, Alasko presents readers with simple instructions for what to say . . . and what not to say. Accompanying each pair of statements is a brief discussion of what makes one so negative and destructive, and the other inviting of the kind of discussion needed. This book is the ultimate resource for anyone who longs to consistently say the right thing at the right time.

Product Details

ISBN-13: 9781585429325
Publisher: Penguin Publishing Group
Publication date: 01/16/2014
Pages: 240
Product dimensions: 8.40(w) x 8.50(h) x 0.70(d)
Age Range: 18 Years

About the Author

Carl Alasko, Ph.D., has been a psychotherapist specializing in couples and families for thirty years. Author of Emotional Bullshit and Beyond Blame, he writes a weekly advice column “On Relationships” for the Monterey County Herald. He lives in Monterey, California, with his wife and son. 

Table of Contents

How to Use This Book 1

Part 1 Dating: What to Say-and What Not to Say

Scene 1 What a Cutte! 32

Scene 2 Whoa! She's Interested! 34

Scene 3 Not Really Into It 36

Scene 4 Uh-oh… I Have to Describe Myself… 38

Scene 5 My Date Is Wonderful! 40

Scene 6 He Just Disappeared! 42

Scene 7 I'd Like to Know More 44

Scene 8 Want to Spend the Night? 46

Scene 9 I Was Dazzled by Love 48

Scene 10 I Thought Money Didn't Matter 50

Part 2 Developing a Long-Term Relationship

Scene 11 He's Late and Doesn't Care 64

Scene 12 Her Mind Seems to Wander 66

Scene 13 She Came On to My Friend! 68

Scene 14 I'm Being Totally Ignored 70

Scene 15 I'll Punish Her with Silence 72

Scene 16 Don't Tell Me What to Do! 74

Scene 17 I Get Wounded Easily 76

Scene 18 Why Are You So Grouchy? 78

Scene 19 He Spent All Our Savings! 80

Scene 20 And It's Your Fault! 82

Scene 21 You're Canceling Our Date? 84

Scene 22 But You Said You Wanted Sex 86

Scene 23 I Just Can't Trust You, Can I? 88

Scene 24 How About Some Appreciation? 90

Scene 25 I'm So Glad You Had a Chance to Rest 92

Scene 26 Okay! I Get It Already! 94

Scene 27 I'm Positive It Was on Wednesday 96

Scene 28 Why Does It Always Have to Be Your Way? 98

Scene 29 Stop Your Flirting …or Else! 100

Scene 30 I Have a Right to Be Angry! 102

Scene 31 So I Get a Little Angry… 104

Scene 32 I Know What You're Thinking 106

Scene 33 I'm Not Upset-Yes, You Are! 108

Scene 34 Well, If That's Your Attitude 110

Scene 35 Why Won't You Go with Me? 112

Scene 36 I'll Tell You What's Wrong 114

Scene 37 Hey, Are You Horny? 116

Scene 38 The Sex No Longer Sizzles 118

Part 3 Parenting: Don't Say That to Your Kid… Instead Say This

Scene 39 How Many Times Have I Told You…? 126

Scene 40 This Homework's Too Hard 128

Scene 41 He Started It! 130

Scene 42 She Cries to Get Attention 132

Scene 43 You're So Irresponsible! 134

Part 4 Friendships: Voluntary Relationships That Make Life Better

Scene 44 She's Just Too Busy to Call Back 144

Scene 45 My Friend Is Talking Behind My Back! 146

Scene 46 She's Late Every Time! 148

Scene 47 They Broke Up and Now He's My Friend Again 150

Scene 48 How Come You Don't… ? 152

Part 5 Say This… in the Workplace

Scene 49 I'm Perfect-Why Aren't You? 162

Scene 50 It's Not Me-It's Them! 164

Scene 51 How Come Nobody Told Me? 166

Scene 52 She's Nitpicking My Work 168

Scene 53 He's Really Got It in for Me 170

Scene 54 I've Got All the Answers 172

Part 6 Everyday Situations

Scene 55 The Intrusive Neighbor 180

Scene 56 The Perpetual Complainer 182

Scene 57 He's Always Interrupting 184

Scene 58 I Can't Fulfill All Your Dreams 186

Scene 59 When You Must Say Something 188

Scene 60 When There's Nothing to Say 190

Advanced Work 193

What People are Saying About This

From the Publisher


"This straightforward, easy-to-use guide will help you find the right words to say in the trickiest of situations—whether you're on a first date, navigating a conflict with a friend, or feeling frustrated at work."
—Laurie Puhn, J.D., author of Fight Less, Love More
 
“There's been a lot of conversation about holding better conversations, but in Say this, Not That, Carl Alasko takes the reader to a new level of practicality. With content you can apply immediately, you'll discover ways to enhance all of your relationships."
—John G. Miller, author of QBQ!, Outstanding!, and Parenting the QBQ Way

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