“[Dr. Malkin’s] reassuring tone and plethora of case histories offer considered advice and generous encouragement.” — Kirkus Reviews
When most of us hear the word narcissism or narcissist, we envision vain, preening, braggarts who can’t stop talking about themselves. But most of the time, we’ve got it wrong; many narcissists aren’t driven by looks,fame, or money—some may even be shy or soft spoken. The startling truth is we’ve been distracted by an empty stereotype that blinds us to far more reliable signs of danger—and an entire generation is suffering because of it.
In Rethinking Narcissism Harvard Medical School psychologist Craig Malkin addresses the "narcissism epidemic" by illuminating the spectrum of narcissism, identifying ways to control the trait, and explaining how too little of it may be a bad thing. Readers will learn that there's far more to narcissism than its reductive invective would imply. The reality is that we all fall somewhere between utter selflessness and grandiosity. A healthy middle—a healthy degree of narcissism—is essential for a strong sense of self. Malkin deconstructs our misconceptions of narcissism and offers clear, step-by-step guidance on how to protect ourselves and how to promote healthy narcissism in our partners, our children, and ourselves.
Dr. Craig Malkin is an author, clinical psychologist, and lecturer for Harvard Medical School with two decades of experience helping individuals, couples, and families. His articles, advice, and insights on relationships have appeared in newspapers and magazines such as Time, the New York Times, The Sunday Times (London), Psychology Today, and Women’s Health, as well as countless other magazines and websites. He’s also been featured multiple times on NPR, CBS Radio, and the Oprah Winfrey Network channel; appeared on various local morning shows; and been a guest on more than sixty radio stations here and abroad. Dr. Malkin is president and director of the Cambridge, Massachusetts–based YM Psychotherapy and Consultation, Inc., which provides psychotherapy and evidence-based couples workshops. He lives in Boston with his wife and twin girls.
Table of Contents
Introduction v
The Myth of Narcissus 1
Part I What Is Narcissism?
1 Rethinking Narcissism: Old Assumptions, New Ideas 7
2 Confusion and Controversy: How Narcissism Became a Dirty Word and We Found an Epidemic 15
3 From 0 to 10: Understanding the Spectrum 28
4 The Narcissism Test: How Narcissistic Are You? 47
Part II Origins: Healthy and Unhealthy Narcissism
5 Root Causes: The Making of Echoists and Narcissists 61
6 Echoism and Narcissism: From Bad to Worse 80
Part III Recognizing and Coping with Unhealthy Narcissism
7 Warning Signs: Staying Alert for Narcissists 99
8 Change and Recovery: Dealing with Lovers, Family, and Friends 113
9 Coping and Thriving: Dealing with Colleagues and Bosses 137
Part IV Promoting Healthy Narcissism
10 Advice for Parents: Raising a Confident, Caring Child 161
11 SoWe: The Healthy Use of Social Media 182
12 A Passionate Life: The Ultimate Gift of Healthy Narcissism 200
