Rest Assured: A Recovery Plan for Weary Souls

by Vicki Courtney

Overview

“Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest” (Matt. 11:28

Women are overcommitted, overconnected, overburdened, and overwhelmed. Their lives are full, but oddly, their souls are empty. They are aching for a bold challenge—one that will bring rest to their longing souls. Rest Assured is for the daring women who truly want to disrupt their current patterns and see lasting change.

Divided into two parts, Rest Assured offers not just an intervention:

• The Badge of Busyness
• The Exhausting Pursuit of Happiness
• Tethered Souls
• Worried Sick

But also a recovery plan:

• Prioritize the One Thing Needed: Time for God
• Create Room to Breathe: Time for Solitude
• Give Yourself a Break: Time for Leisure
• Pay It Forward: Time for Others

If the soul is weary, it’s time for an intervention. Rest Assured is not a quick fix, but rather a bold challenge that aids women in identifying the negative patterns that prevent them from experiencing rest in their souls. Most importantly, it will give them the tools needed to break the cycle.

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9780718034146
Publisher:	Nelson, Thomas, Inc.
Publication date:	11/17/2015
Sold by:	HarperCollins Publishing
Format:	eBook
Pages:	224
File size:	797 KB

About the Author

Vicki Courtney is a national speaker to women of all ages and the best-selling author of many books and Bible studies including 5 Conversations You Must Have with Your Daughter and Ever After. Vicki and her husband, Keith, have three grown children, a son-in-love, daughter-in-love, and an amazing grandson.

Read an Excerpt

Rest Assured

A Recovery Plan for Weary Souls

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By Vicki Courtney

Thomas Nelson

Copyright © 2015 Vicki Courtney
All rights reserved.
ISBN: 978-0-8499-6492-3

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CHAPTER 1

The Badge of Busyness

"I'm on my way, sweetie." Pat brushed by me in a flurry as she delivered a tray of food to a nearby table at my favorite diner. The diner sits in the middle of a small town where we own a weekend home, about an hour away from the hustle and bustle of the big city. I come here to write, think, and slow down. Folks don't typically move fast in this little hamlet. Except for Pat, that is. If you caught her during the morning rush, you would witness an impressive feat of multitasking. As she zigzagged from one table to the next, her movements reminded me of the Road Runner, who made a full-time job of staying one step ahead of Wile E. Coyote in the classic cartoons from yesteryear's Saturday mornings.

After refilling about a half dozen coffee cups, Pat appeared at my side with her order pad ready. "What'll you have, sweetie?"

I answered quickly, "I'll have two eggs over medium, wheat toast, and grits — no bacon." I'd learned not to hesitate. If Pat began to tap her pencil nervously on the order pad, you knew you had about five seconds to spit it out, or she'd dart off to another task, offering a polite, "I'll be back when you're ready, honey."

As she finished jotting down my order, the bell over the front door clanged its high-pitched tone, signaling another new customer's arrival. Pat politely barked over her shoulder, "Seat yourself, sweetie. I'm on my way." And off she went. She didn't have a spare second to indulge in idle chitchat. Pat did the work of four people, so there was no reason for me to take it personally. No one did.

While I sipped on my coffee, I thought about Pat's familiar mantra, "I'm on my way." In many respects it summed up the bulk of my adult years. I was always "on my way," busily bouncing from one activity to another, never quite feeling I had the time to unpack a bag, kick off my shoes, and stay awhile — to enjoy the moment. I barely had time to catch my breath before another obligation, duty, person, deadline, or task beckoned and demanded my undivided (ha!) attention. I blamed my calendar for the frenzy, as if it were a silent master holding a whip, giving me no choice but to obey its schedule. In my own defense, I attempted to slow down along the way, recalling the countless sermons I'd heard about rest and keeping the Sabbath. But my bold declarations were always short-lived. Before long I'd rev back up to my frenetic speed, with no rest and no space to breathe.

As I reflected on my tendencies, I realized that something deep within my being was compelling me to maintain the breakneck pace. Something drove me to fill every brief pause or empty hour with more activities and commitments. I desperately wanted to put my foot on the brakes and exit the fast lane, but I couldn't bring myself to actually stop the frenzy. I hated the pace, but at the same time, I needed it. I complained about it in one breath and bragged about it in the next. Maybe that should have been my first clue that something was terribly broken in my soul. I longed to be free from the busyness that enslaved me, but failed to realize I was the taskmaster holding the whip — not my calendar. I alone held the keys to the chains that bound me.

Crazy Busy and Proud of It

Ask someone the simple question, "How are you?" and you'll probably hear phrases like "super busy," "swamped," "over- whelmed," and "wish there were more hours in the day." As a bonus you might even get a play-by-play rundown of the overbooked calendar, spoken, of course, in an exasperated tone with a heavy sigh. Trust me, I'm stepping on my own toes here. I've been this person, and I wish I could go back and slap her silly. My rehearsed speech sounded a little like this: "Life is pretty crazy right now. I've got a full speaking calendar this fall, a list of writing deadlines I probably won't make, the kids' ballgames and activities that take up my weekends, and I just volunteered to help chair the silent auction at the kids' school." Looking off into the distance with a wistful gleam in my eye, I might have even added a wishful, "I look forward to a day when things slow down," or "I'd give anything to be bored."

I spoke about my life as if I had absolutely no control over the crazy pace, as if some invisible drill sergeant dictated my calendar and made sure every spare moment was productive and useful. My recounting of the pace of my life might have sounded like a woeful complaint, but something else was camouflaged underneath: a slight ring of pride. My frenzied, overbooked calendar was becoming the silent proof to others, and to myself, that my life was full and important. Somewhere along the way, busyness had become the barometer for measuring my worth and value. The busier I was, the more I mattered, or at least that's how I felt.

I am a writer and speaker, and though that doesn't demand that I clock in at an office Monday through Friday, it is a full-time job with requirements that often go beyond the normal boundaries of a forty-hour week. At the height of my busyness, I would make bold declarations about how I would force myself to slow down. After I finished a season of speaking engagements. After I met a book deadline. After my kids wrapped up a hectic school year. Yet when after finally arrived, I was off and running again in another leg of the race. In spite of my determination to create a less stressful calendar, my success was always short-lived because when empty blocks of time appeared, I couldn't seem to make peace with them. I struggled to adjust to a slower, more relaxed pace. Whether it was related to my career or my home life, I could always squeeze in one more thing — for me it might be one more speaking engagement, writing deadline, volunteer opportunity, or activity for the children. When I wasn't busy, I felt restless and ill at ease. When I was busy, I felt weary and in need of rest. It was a never-ending, vicious cycle.

Not all forms of busyness are unhealthy. Not all well-filled calendars are toxic. Many people experience bouts of seasonal busyness that are an exception to an otherwise well-balanced pace of life. However, a season of frenzy can turn into a lifestyle of chaos unless you make a concerted effort to guard your calendar. Has your brand of busyness lapsed into the unhealthy realm of chronic busyness?

Take a look at the following list to evaluate your risk for chronic busyness.

You might be too busy if:

• You struggle to say no when asked to do something, even when you know you don't have time to add anything else to your plate.

• You operate at a hurried pace throughout your entire day.

• You have a hard time leaving your work behind, and it often bleeds over into your home life.

• You get impatient when things don't move along as quickly as you'd like.

• You feel panicked when unexpected situations threaten to wreck your well-planned day because you have little wiggle room in your schedule.

• You don't easily settle down and relax. Even in rare moments when you are still, your mind is engaged and racing.

• You are short-tempered with your family members, quickly snapping at them when the day's events don't seem to click along as planned. (And they rarely do!)

• You have little downtime, and you don't make an effort to schedule it daily or weekly.

• You feel rushed in your alone time with God; spending time with Him moves to the bottom of the priority list if your day is too crowded.

• You find little time to pursue your hobbies and interests because leisure is a luxury, not a requirement.

• You feel guilty when engaging in a relaxing activity (e.g., thumbing through a magazine, watching a favorite TV show, lingering over lunch with a friend).

• Your lack peace in your soul.

How did you do? Most of us have lapsed into an unrealistic pace over time and have told ourselves that little can be done about it. We have been duped by an American culture that demands a frenzied pace as the norm. And in our rush we never slow down long enough to ponder whether God has endorsed this ludicrous pace.

Beneath the Busyness

Why is it hard for so many of us to establish a moderate pace in our lives? If we sincerely want to find relief, we must be willing to take a deeper look at the root of the problem. Whether our busyness is related to our careers, our home lives, or a combination of both, what is going on beneath the surface? I don't want to oversimplify the problem, but I believe that somewhere along the way, we were lured into a pattern of chronic busyness by a payoff. Busyness = Reward.

Which of the following payoffs have lured you into the destructive cycle of chronic busyness?

Payoff #1: Satisfaction.

Many of us recognize cognitively that satisfaction can be found in God alone, but our actions demonstrate that such truth has not traveled from our heads to our hearts. Like junkies in need of a fix, we chase one false god after another in a desperate attempt to satisfy our hungry souls.

If you have been scammed by this particular payoff, another telltale symptom of your situation might be the sporadic amount of time you spend with God. In short, if your schedule gets crazy, He's usually the first one to get the boot. He might receive a brief nod by reading an online devotional, but that drive-by won't deliver the kind of satisfaction your soul truly craves. Like eating a candy bar for lunch, your stomach feels good for a minute, but you'll be craving more substance in no time.

The ironic but sad truth surrounding misplaced satisfaction is that even if we reach our ultimate end goals (a nicer home, a promotion at the office, a child who makes the honor roll; you fill in the blank: _____________), our pursuits will not provide us with lasting contentment. We'll get a temporary buzz, but nothing more. Just look back at the history of our Israelite friends in the Old Testament. Their incessant habit of looking to worldly idols failed to deliver — every time. After the buzz wore off, they were left with more unrest in their souls. Sound familiar?

Think about it. If we are too busy to spend time with God on a consistent basis, we are too busy. Period. And if we are able to make time for the things we deem important, and God doesn't top the list, then something is broken and in need of repair. Only God can deliver the satisfaction our souls desire. We will never experience true fulfillment unless we stop and sit at His feet and take in His Word. "For what does it profit a man to gain the whole world, and forfeit his soul?" (Mark 8:36 NASB).

Payoff #2: Connection.

Sometimes we create insane schedules (i.e., chronic busyness) so we can connect with others who will affirm and approve of us. Others of us engage in a more sedentary form of connectedness. Devoting an unhealthy amount of time to technology and social media, we expend massive mental energy and waste precious time maintaining virtual connections, acquiring "likes," "friends," and "followers," which gives a false sense of connection and belonging. Like the proverbial rat that learns to press a lever to receive a pellet of food, we learn to craft our posts and pictures in hopes of being rewarded by comments and traffic to our sites.

The biggest irony of pursuing these kinds of connections is that it robs us of the one connection that matters most: our relationship with God. In fact, God wired our hearts for connection, but His intent was that our need for relationships would drive us to seek a relationship with Him first. However, spending time with God requires silence and solitude that can be achieved only by disconnecting from the noise of the world and the people we are seeking to please.

Why does the thought of disconnecting make us so nervous? Are we afraid of what we might find in the silence and solitude? We might be scared if we've created an image of God that is contrary to His character.

Do you see God as an angry taskmaster, waiting for you to be still so He can hit you with condemnation and a list of ways to get your life together? Maybe you see a God who is disgusted by your lack of progress, and you think to spend time in His presence means experiencing His displeasure. Or perhaps you're disappointed in God because you didn't feel His presence during a time of adversity, and you've been avoiding Him ever since.

None of us wants to connect with someone whom we perceive to be angry, annoyed, or absent — even if He is sitting on a throne. Likely, all of us need the reminder from Scripture of what God is really like — the very One who flung the universe into place and yet cares enough to know the number of hairs on our heads (Luke 12:7).

Payoff #3: Identity.

Oftentimes our busyness stems from a desperate search for identity and purpose. Similar to throwing endless darts at the wall to see if any hit the target, we fill our calendars with dozens upon dozens of pursuits to see if we might walk away having discovered our lifelong purpose. No doubt many of us find our gifts and passions by experimentation and a process of elimination, but our identity and purpose have already been established. In fact, we find our identity and purpose only by resting in God rather than serving Him. Our identity comes from being created in the image of God (Gen. 1:26–27). Our worth should be based on who we are (God's beloved), not what we do (serve Him). Rather than follow the crowd and conform to the world's formula for finding identity and purpose, God calls us to renew our minds and find our worth in Him (Rom. 12:2). We cannot be transformed by the renewing of our minds unless we are willing to be still and meditate on His truths.

Unless we take a deeper look at the source of our chronic busyness and get honest with ourselves about the underlying motives, we will be treating only the symptoms instead of the disease. We might make minor tweaks and adjustments here and there to reduce our loads, but until we address the root of the problem, our efforts will provide only short-term solutions.

When we say yes to too many other things, we are actually saying no to God. Only God can bring the rest and satisfaction our souls crave.

Just Stop

What would God say about the problem of busyness? He might point us to Psalm 46 and His counsel to "be still, and know that I am God" (v. 10). God doesn't compete with the clamor and white noise of our busy lives. He beckons us to come before Him in silence. He wants our full, undivided attention. He wants us to cultivate space in our days to lay ourselves at His feet and breathe. He calls us to be still, or as another translation (NASB) says, "Cease striving." God calls us to cease striving to define our worth by our accomplishments. Cease striving to gain the approval of others. Cease striving to be important in the eyes of the world. Cease striving to lay up riches. Cease striving to find satisfaction in things that won't deliver on what they promise. Cease striving to give our time to people, events, and causes that won't matter a year from now. Cease striving to win God's love with acts of service. Cease striving to escape through busyness. Cease striving and know He is God — and we're not.

The original Hebrew word for "striving" or "still" is râphâh (raw-faw'), meaning to "slacken," much like a rope or strap that is pulled too tight and needs to be loosened. It reminds me of a recent wrestling match I had with my grandson's car seat in my vehicle's backseat. He was old enough to face forward, and for months, when I snapped the straps into the base of the seat, the straps that overlapped his chest fit snugly. But then he had a sudden growth spurt. One afternoon, when I went to buckle him into his seat, the straps that overlapped his chest were suddenly too tight. I pulled and tugged with great effort until I was finally able to click the straps into the base. However, my grandson would have none of it. He immediately objected with, "No! Too tight, Mimi! Owie, owie!" Immediately I unbuckled the straps and spent the next two hours trying to find the magic mechanism that would release and slacken them. (Trust me; an engineering degree is required to figure out today's car seats. I nearly lost my religion in the process.)

(Continues...)

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Excerpted from Rest Assured by Vicki Courtney. Copyright © 2015 Vicki Courtney. Excerpted by permission of Thomas Nelson.
All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
Excerpts are provided by Dial-A-Book Inc. solely for the personal use of visitors to this web site.

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Table of Contents

Contents

Introduction, xiii,
Part I: Enemies of Rest: The Intervention, 1,
Chapter One: The Badge of Busyness, 3,
Chapter Two: The Exhausting Pursuit of Happiness, 25,
Chapter Three: Tethered Souls, 51,
Chapter Four: Worried Sick, 75,
Part II: Redeeming Rest: The Recovery, 95,
Chapter Five: Prioritize the One Thing Needed: Time for God, 97,
Chapter Six: Create Room to Breathe: Time for Solitude, 119,
Chapter Seven: Give Yourself a Break: Time for Leisure, 141,
Chapter Eight: Pay It Forward: Time for Others, 165,
Bonus: A Thirty-Day Restoration Guide, 183,
Bonus: 100 Ways to Give It a Rest, 193,
Acknowledgments, 203,
Notes, 207,
About the Author, 215,