Relationship Essentials: Skills to Feel Heard, Fight Fair, and Set Boundaries in All Areas of Life

by Lauren Reitsema, Joneen Mackenzie

Overview

Build life-enhancing relationships, restore damaged ones, and prevent communication breakdowns before they happen

Using real-world examples, illustrations from their own lives, and a research-based approach, dynamic daughter-mother duo Lauren Reitsema and Joneen Mackenzie guide you through familiar relationship situations. Their suggestions can be used with your partner, coworkers, children, extended family members, and friends. Drawing from their experience teaching thousands through The Center for Relationship Education, they introduce practical, easy-to-use strategies that will help you communicate more effectively and work through relationship challenges with confidence. When applied in any area of your life, these tools can have seemingly miraculous love- and life-enhancing results.

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9781608687619
Publisher:	New World Library
Publication date:	11/16/2021
Pages:	168
Product dimensions:	5.50(w) x 8.50(h) x (d)

About the Author

Lauren Reitsema serves on the executive leadership team at CRE (Center for Relationship Education). The author of In Their Shoes, she regularly speaks to youths, adults, and corporate teams. Joneen Mackenzie, an RN and former 1st Lt. in the USAF Nurse Corps, founded CRE, which has certified more than 15,000 educators in its REAL Essentials relationship skills curricula. She participates in national public health standards policy through numerous board memberships. The authors live in Colorado.

Table of Contents

Introduction xi

Chapter 1 The Three C's of Communication 1

Chapter 2 Getting to Know All about You 17

Chapter 3 Enough Is Enough: Why Boundaries Are Kind 33

Chapter 4 Tell Me What You Want 47

Chapter 5 Giving It a Fighting Chance 61

Chapter 6 Nailed It! 75

Chapter 7 Finding Equilibrium 89

Chapter 8 Take Ownership 103

Chapter 9 Gratitude's Superpower 117

Chapter 10 The View from the Top 131

Conclusion: Relationship Essentials Toolkit Checklist 143

Notes 145

About the Authors 149

The Center for Relationship Education and REAL Essentials Certification 151

Editorial Reviews

11/08/2021

Mother and daughter team Reitsema (In Their Shoes) and Mackenzie, both with the Center for Relationship Education, provide in this valuable guide to talking things out sensible, easy-to-follow instructions on how to effectively communicate with everyone from toddlers to the elderly. Methods include “AAA” (avoid unnecessary surprises, ask for feedback, affirm understanding); setting ground rules for both speakers and listeners, especially during fraught conversations (key for both: avoid attempting to mind read, and paraphrase what the other person is saying to ensure comprehension); three C’s of communication (context, content, and connection); and simply asking open-ended questions while establishing clear expectations (the lack of which the authors believe are at the center of most misunderstandings and conflicts). For example, when “becoming a parent drastically changes family dynamic,” couples can focus on affirmation rather than blame. The simple fill-in “Forgiveness Formula” alone could save scores of relationships (“I was wrong when I ___________. I recognize that my actions hurt you.... I am truly sorry. I will work hard to try not to ___________ again.”). The commonsense advice assures that conversation partners are both heard and feel respected. It’s a pitch-perfect guide for readers looking to fine-tune their talk. Agent: Chip MacGregor, MacGregor & Luedeke. (Nov.)

Publishers Weekly

. . . a pitch-perfect guide . . .”
— Publishers Weekly

“Strong, healthy, positive relationships are an important foundation of human flourishing. But cultivating such relationships takes wisdom and skill. Relationship Essentials offers practical guidance, delivered in an engaging and down-to-earth style, for developing the satisfying relationships necessary for a vibrant, generative life. Highly recommended!”
— Matthew T. Lee, director of empirical research at the Harvard Human Flourishing Program

“Relationship Essentials is the essential guide to crucial relationship skills that are needed in every important relationship. You will apply what you learn here to your relationships with family, friends, and coworkers. Practical and user-friendly, this book will significantly raise your relationship IQ.”
— Ron L. Deal, therapist, speaker, and bestselling coauthor of Building Love Together in Blended Families (with Dr. Gary Chapman) and author of The Smart Stepfamily

“When couples come for counseling, they are frequently explicit with their request: ‘I need tools to build a stronger relationship.’ Relationship Essentials responds to this request in a comprehensive way by providing ways to respectfully draw effective boundaries and other skills that are essential to the creation of meaningful relationships. Consider this book a practice manual for taking any or all of your relationships to a higher level.”
— Linda Bloom, LCSW, coauthor of 101 Things I Wish I Knew When I Got Married

“If there was ever a time when people were dying to feel known, seen, and heard, it is now. Relationship Essentials provides the tools that can lead people to healthy, rich relationships. Thank you, Lauren and Joneen, for this gift!”
— Julie Baumgardner, senior director of WinShape Marriage

“Relationships form the foundation of a meaningful, fulfilling life. Relationship Essentials is an extremely helpful guide to enhancing relationships and dramatically improving communication. It offers practical and effective methods to heal, deepen, and enrich relationships so that you can attain your highest quality of life.”
— Dan Willis, police captain (ret.) and author of Bulletproof Spirit: The First Responder’s Essential Resource for Protecting and Healing Mind and Heart

“Relationship Essentials is a wise and practical guide to living and working with others. It’s a fun, easy read — yet amazingly comprehensive with tips and tools that range from difficult topics like conflict and boundaries to everyday habits like gratitude and respect.”
— Susan Campbell, PhD, author of Getting Real and From Triggered to Tranquil

From the Publisher