Red Flags: Frenemies, Underminers, and Ruthless People

by Wendy L. Patrick PhD

Overview

We all wear emotional blinders: keeping society moving smoothly depends on it. But when you absolutely must rely on another person, you have to be able to assess them objectively. Red Flags will train you to spot deceptive or dangerous people.

Learn how to:
- Avoid selective attention
- Observe people over time (bad guys rely on first impressions)
- Ask questions: most people's favorite topic is themselves
- Cybersleuth to verify information and track down inconsistencies

If you want to know whether a potential boyfriend is trustworthy, are hiring employees, selecting a child care worker, or have partners in business, you need RED FLAGS.

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9781250091710
Publisher:	St. Martin's Publishing Group
Publication date:	05/17/2016
Pages:	320
Sales rank:	449,132
Product dimensions:	5.50(w) x 8.50(h) x 0.72(d)

About the Author

Wendy L. Patrick is a deputy district attorney and team leader in the Sex Crimes and Stalking Division of the San Diego County District Attorney's Office. She serves as co-chair of both the Statewide California District Attorneys Association Sexually Violent Predator Committee and the Human Trafficking Committee. Patrick is the co-author of the revised edition of Reading People.

Table of Contents

Acknowledgments ix

Preface xi

Introduction: Why Bad Looks Good 1

Reading Red FLAGs: Four Ways to Separate the Dangerous from the Desirable 24

1 The Optics of Illusion: The Power of Attraction 51

2 Follow the Leader: The Attraction of Power 68

3 Perceiving is Believing: The Comfort of Credibility 82

4 Suddenly Smitten: The Pleasure of Positive Attention 100

5 The Not-So-Secret Admirer: The Allure of Affirmation 121

6 Born to Bond: The Seduction of Similarity 140

7 The Ax Murderer Next Door: Familiarity Breeds Contentment 157

8 Craving Excitement: The Call of the Wild 171

9 Forbidden Fruit: The Temptation of Taboo 190

10 Seeking the Wolf: When Dangerous Is Desirable 206

Green Lights: When Appearances are Reality 218

Reaching a Verdict: A Life Well Perceived 235

Endnotes 239

Bibliography 273

Index 291

Editorial Reviews

Patrick shares practical knowledge gained during the course of her career working with victims of crimes and ably describes both the strategies of perpetrators and the vulnerabilities of victims. Fans of psychology and relationship books as well as those interested in law enforcement should appreciate this very intriguing book.” —Library Journal

From the Publisher

01/12/2015
Patrick, a deputy district attorney in San Diego, offers her expertise on the minds and methods of users and abusers, advising readers on how to avoid becoming a victim. She employs a simple mnemonic device for evaluating a person’s motivating interests, FLAG (Focus, Lifestyle, Associations, Goals), culling examples from her own cases. These include a charming serial rapist, a thieving manipulator of an elderly veteran, and a teenage sex trafficker who recruited other girls for her pimp. Patrick issues her most urgent warning about the “Dark Triad,” consisting of narcissists, Machiavellians, and psychopaths. She explains psychological traps to avoid, such as the “halo effect,” in which positive qualities are attributed to physically attractive people, and the “‘white-coat phenomenon” of blind adherence to perceived authority. Advice particularly useful for women includes pointers on evaluating online dating profiles for negative characteristics, looking for traits of the “Dark Triad” in possible one-night-stands, and paying attention to the too-often ignored warning signs of incipient domestic violence. Patrick’s profession has provided her access to a host of victims and offenders, while her shrewd analysis sheds light on the distinct patterns of abuse. Though much of this material is available elsewhere, her knowledge and the mnemonic shorthand provide a unique perspective. (May)

Publishers Weekly

04/15/2015
Patrick is a deputy district attorney and team leader in the Sex Crimes and Stalking Division of the San Diego County District Attorney's Office. She previously coauthored the revised edition of Reading People, which taught readers how to gain important information about others by looking and listening. Here the author aims to help the reader distinguish between good and bad by enhancing the tools of perception. Patrick contends that many of us are too often attracted to people emotionally and thus miss warning signs, or red flags, that would reveal deception or danger. She uses the mnemonic spelling FLAG to represent focus, lifestyle, associations, and goals as the areas most likely to reveal a person's true colors, and guides the reader through the psychology of attraction. VERDICT Patrick shares practical knowledge gained during the course of her career working with victims of crimes and ably describes both the strategies of perpetrators and the vulnerabilities of victims. Fans of psychology and relationship books as well as those interested in law enforcement should appreciate this very intriguing book.—Linda F. Petty, Wimberley, TX

Library Journal