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Last winter, one of my friends, Sheri, was driving her kids to school when a car in the oncoming lane hit the vehicle in front of her. Swerving out of the way, Sheri avoided impact and pulled her car to the side of the road. She got out and checked in with the woman who had caused the accident. Catatonic, the woman walked with Sheri toward the vehicle she had hit. Without warning, the woman turned on her heels toward Sheri’s car, grabbed the door handle, and got in. Sheri tried desperately to get her out, while her children struggled, unsuccessfully, to free themselves from the vehicle. My friend watched in horror as the woman lurched the car into drive, and then drove away with her most precious cargo inside.
The horrible sensation of hijacking can hit our families. We watch, dumbfounded, as our children are taken by any number of things: bullying, pressures to conform, sports, perfectionism, mean-girl friendships, social media, video games, alcohol, pornography, drugs, sex, the list goes on. We can stand and watch as the negative forces threaten to drive off with our kids, or jump in and pull them out of danger. No one else will fight for our children like we will. We are the difference makers in the lives of our children.Being a parent is the most vulnerable, difficult, and raw position I will ever fill. It is also a rich, soul-reaching, honored, blessed role—one that takes every fiber of my being in effort and care. It’s the area I feel the most significant rewards and the deepest sorrows. Caring so deeply hurts—the kind of emotion that reaches down and squeezes my heart, until I feel crushed.While I know full well the limits of my abilities as a mom, I also have come to know that a parent’s love is a force that transcends fault, distance, time, and obstacles. It is strong. Bravely strong. It is a kind of love that pursues valiantly, even when ignored. It sits day after day at the counter tutoring in math after school. It forges countless circles of prayer around a teenager’s room, and gets up with a baby after only two hours of sleep. It keeps growing, trying, and transforming, knowing that we can always be better for our kids. A parent’s love fiercely protects—standing in the full face of the negative influences of culture saying, “Not here. You may surround us, but this territory belongs to me.”If I have learned anything in raising kids, it is that there is no formula to follow, even though we long for simplistic answers. Each family must discern, pray, and figure out how to best lead their crew through this life. There are some specific areas that have been hijacked, which we, as parents, can take back.Fear Hijacks Courage: Parenting takes backbone. It is not for the timid. We must have the fortitude to stand up for what we know to be true and right. If you feel it’s best to call parents to verify plans every single time your teen daughter goes out, do it, knowing there is plenty of trouble to be had by today’s youth. If you need to go meet with the principal of your son’s school due to a bullying issue and show up at lunch every day for a month, go. Your child’s sense of safety is in your hands. If you need to put that three year old in time out for the twentieth time today, it’s worth the effort. If you decide to put limits on the demanding sports schedule, take the resistance you will receive as a badge of courage.Nelson Mandela once said, “Courage is not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not one who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear.” There is hardly anything that plagues parents more than fear. There is so much unknown when it comes to parenting. We fear our kids will be physically or emotionally hurt; we fear that what we offer as parents will not suffice; and we fear that what we teach and model will not be enough to keep them on a virtuous path, away from the negative trappings of culture. Let’s lean into that fear and as Mandela so beautifully says, triumph over it. No one else is going to take the steps needed to protect the hearts of our children. This falls on us. Take the challenge seriously and follow through with grit. The next time you are faced with feelings of fear, stop and acknowledge the emotion, then take a deep breath. Make a decision to respond with courage.
