Raising Your Spirited Baby: A Breakthrough Guide to Thriving When Your Baby Is More . . . Alert and Intense and Struggles to Sleep

by Mary Sheedy Kurcinka

Overview

“Mary Sheedy Kurcinka, Ed.D., brings her expertise in raising spirited children to help you understand and soothe your spirited baby. Her research-based, parent-tested strategies will help your baby sleep better and develop a calmer, more resilient brain and nervous system.” —Dr. Laura Markham, founder of AhaParenting.com, and author of Peaceful Parent, Happy Kids

From the beloved bestselling author whose award-winning parenting books have sold over 1 million copies—an indispensable guide to the unique needs of Spirited Infants™. 

Does your baby bursts into tears when another baby in the same situation sleeps soundly?

Do the strategies your friends swear by not work with your baby?

Do the upsets and shrieking come out of seemingly nowhere and take forever to subside?

Moms and dads who answer “yes,” are the parents of a spirited infant. Spirited infants are the outliers—the exceptions to the “rules.” They are genetically wired to be alert and intense. Raising them takes special skills and patient perseverance.

In this groundbreaking new book, beloved parenting expert Mary Sheedy Kurcinka, Ed.D., offers her findings in the fields of neuroscience, sleep, temperament, self-regulation, attachment, and parent-child interactions, and shares what she has learned from hands-on experiences with families to bring this much-needed perspective to the parenting of babies under eighteen months of age, including:

• A plan for success with the 5-step Spirited Baby™ Methodology 
• How to master the “NUDGE” approach to help your baby thrive
• Parental Permissions – practical advice for parents to help them make sure their needs are met
• Resources to ensure the whole family unit finds balance and happiness 

Raising Your Spirited Baby is a shame-free, guilt-free how-to handbook that will be embraced by parents—and everyone who supports them—as a simple, trusted companion. 

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9780062961556
Publisher:	HarperCollins
Publication date:	12/29/2020
Series:	Spirited Series
Sold by:	HARPERCOLLINS
Format:	eBook
Pages:	352
File size:	3 MB

About the Author

Mary Sheedy Kurcinka, Ed.D., is a bestselling author and internationally recognized lecturer and parent educator. Her books Raising Your Spirited Child, Raising Your Spirited Baby, Raising Your Spirited Child Workbook, Kids, Parents and Power Struggles and Sleepless in America: Is Your Child Misbehaving or Missing Sleep? have been translated into more than twenty languages. A former director of one of Minnesota's largest Early Childhood Family Education programs, Mary is the founder of the Spirited Child and Kids, Parents, and Power Struggles workshops. She resides in Bozeman, Montana, with her husband.

Table of Contents

Acknowledgments xi

Introduction xv

1 Welcome to More … Spirit, Crying, Fussing, Giggling, Guilt, and Struggles to Sleep

The Joys and Challenges of Raising a Highly Alert, Intense, Spirited Baby 1

Part 1 The Spirited Baby Method

2 What Is My Baby Telling Me?

Tuning In to Our Infants' Unique Needs and Temperaments 19

3 What Do I Need to Stay Calm So I Can Calm My Baby?

Untangling Our Emotions, Reframing Our Experiences, and Getting Support 57

4 How Can I Meet My Basic Needs Now?

Creating a Foundational Routine That Supports and Restores Us Even in the Midst of Chaos 90

5 What Is the Gentle NUDGE to Success?

The 5-Step Technique for Calmer, More Joy-Filled Days 126

Part 2 The Spirited Way in Practice

6 Successful Naps

The Importance of Daytime Sleep for Playful Babies and Restful Nighttimes 149

7 Peaceful Nighttime Sleep

Your Baby's Sleep Is a Family Affair 190

8 Happy Feeding

Creating Trust and Calm for Health? Eaters 238

9 Enjoyable Outings

Socializing and Traveling with Less Stress and More Fun for Everyone 276

10 Moving Forward with Confidence

Living, Loving, and Thriving with Spirit 304

Index 309

Editorial Reviews

10/05/2020

Kurcinka (Sleepless in America), who teaches classes for people struggling with their children’s behavior and sleep issues, delivers a powerful guide to help anyone struggling to raise a baby who is “spirited,” or “genetically wired to be highly alert and intense.” Readers will find a checklist to determine whether their baby is spirited according to five traits (intensity, sensitivity, alertness, irregularity, and high activity levels), and assistance in gauging their own level of stress via a “Parent Self-Assessment” (“How often do you feel your baby is more difficult to manage than other babies?”). From there, Kurcinka introduces readers to the “Spirited Baby Method,” based on asking “what is my baby telling me” through behavior cues, as well as asking “what do I need to stay calm—so I can calm my baby?” Helpful summaries conclude each chapter, and Kurcinka intersperses charts throughout, with guides to picking up on sleepiness cues, reducing nighttime feeding, and transitioning to solid foods proving especially useful. Kurcinka’s helpful book offers abundant understanding and encouragement for parents, as well as plenty of “teeny, tiny steps” toward better managing baby’s behavior. (Dec.)

Publishers Weekly

"Sure to be a landmark book, Kurcinka’s well-researched advice may just be a sanity and sleep saver for new parents."
  — Library Journal, starred review

 “A powerful guide to help anyone struggling to raise a baby who is 'spirited,' or 'genetically wired to be highly alert and intense.' Kurcinka’s helpful book offers abundant understanding and encouragement for parents.” — Publishers Weekly

“Dr. Mary explains that it is how you respond to your young baby that will shape their future behavior.  The more energizing, rambunctious, or as she calls them “spirited” babies, is her specialization, and in this book she leads parents through a step-by-step approach to see, hear, understand, and enjoy every moment with their baby because how you interact, respond, and parent your infant, can make all the difference in their future temperament, relationships, behavior, and success.” — Dr. Tanya Altmann, nationally recognized pediatrician and mom of 3, author of Baby and Toddler Basics and What to Feed Your Baby

“If you have a baby who is more sensitive, alert and intense, Raising Your Spirited Baby has the answers you need. Mary Sheedy Kurcinka, Ed.D., brings her expertise in raising spirited children to help you understand and soothe your spirited baby. Her research-based, parent-tested strategies will help your baby sleep better and develop a calmer, more resilient brain and nervous system. I'll be recommending this for all new parents.” — Dr. Laura Markham, founder of AhaParenting.com, and author of Peaceful Parent, Happy Kids

“Raising Your Spirited Baby is a gentle, encouraging guide to communicating and supporting babies who need a little more help in developing sleep patterns that work for them and the family. For parents stressed out and feeling guilty about their little one’s inability to sleep soundly through the night, Mary Sheedy Kurcinka offers practical support that will make everyone ‘sleep easier,’ confident that baby’s good sleep habits are developing as a result of working with this invaluable resource.” — Nancy Peske, coauthor of Raising a Sensory Smart Child

"Raising Your Spirited Baby offers insight and relief into the often-very-fraught first months of parenting an infant. Over the years, I've come to know and care for many babies with this spirited 'wiring' - and now, Dr. Mary's latest research and strategies will allow me to provide clear, useful guidance."  — Dr. Marjorie Hogan, Professor of Pediatrics, University of Minnesota

  "As a pediatrician, and mother of spirited twins, I have seen first-hand how Mary’s wise words prove invaluable even years after your spirited infant has outgrown his basinet and pacifier.  Understanding that a spirited child is wired differently is key to helping him achieve regulation throughout the day and the calm needed for sleep.  With Mary’s gentle guidance, the things that right now seem out of control, unpredictable and exhausting will become the very things you cherish about your extraordinary child. Respecting that spirit will set your child up for a lifetime of healthy habits and success." — Dr. Jill Funk Simons, F.A.A.D.

From the Publisher

"As a pediatrician, and mother of spirited twins, I have seen first-hand how Mary’s wise words prove invaluable even years after your spirited infant has outgrown his basinet and pacifier.  Understanding that a spirited child is wired differently is key to helping him achieve regulation throughout the day and the calm needed for sleep.  With Mary’s gentle guidance, the things that right now seem out of control, unpredictable and exhausting will become the very things you cherish about your extraordinary child. Respecting that spirit will set your child up for a lifetime of healthy habits and success."

Dr. Jill Funk Simons

If you have a baby who is more sensitive, alert and intense, Raising Your Spirited Baby has the answers you need. Mary Sheedy Kurcinka, Ed.D., brings her expertise in raising spirited children to help you understand and soothe your spirited baby. Her research-based, parent-tested strategies will help your baby sleep better and develop a calmer, more resilient brain and nervous system. I'll be recommending this for all new parents.

Dr. Laura Markham

"Raising Your Spirited Baby offers insight and relief into the often-very-fraught first months of parenting an infant. Over the years, I've come to know and care for many babies with this spirited 'wiring' - and now, Dr. Mary's latest research and strategies will allow me to provide clear, useful guidance." 

Dr. Marjorie Hogan

Raising Your Spirited Baby is a gentle, encouraging guide to communicating and supporting babies who need a little more help in developing sleep patterns that work for them and the family. For parents stressed out and feeling guilty about their little one’s inability to sleep soundly through the night, Mary Sheedy Kurcinka offers practical support that will make everyone ‘sleep easier,’ confident that baby’s good sleep habits are developing as a result of working with this invaluable resource.

Nancy Peske

Dr. Mary explains that it is how you respond to your young baby that will shape their future behavior.  The more energizing, rambunctious, or as she calls them “spirited” babies, is her specialization, and in this book she leads parents through a step-by-step approach to see, hear, understand, and enjoy every moment with their baby because how you interact, respond, and parent your infant, can make all the difference in their future temperament, relationships, behavior, and success.

Dr. Tanya Altmann

"The book will prove to be a real lifesaver."

Louise Bates Ames

This book provides a compelling collection of stories and advice on children’s sleeping. The advice follows simple principles, but takes account of the many differences between children and their families. The book is directed at parents, but practitioners will also find many useful ideas.

John E. Bates

Even the most seasoned parent can be pushed beyond the breaking point by a child who won’t sleep. No matter how patient we are with our children during the day, nights with tired, cranky children can bring us to our knees. Up against our own exhaustion, we find ourselves powerless to help our children find the deep, sustaining rest they need. In this wise, illuminating book, Mary Kurchinka unlocks the secrets to a good night’s sleep for parents and children alike.

Laura Davis

"A well-written, comprehensive, and above all loving and positive approach to understanding that oh-so challenging child."

Evonne Weinhaus and Karen Friedman

"Mary Sheedy Kurchina packs these pages with wisdom, and has gentle, homey sugestions for keeping peace with children who are unusually intense, sensitive, perceptive, persistent and energetic."

Dallas Morning News

A truly impressive book about a very important issue. Kurcinka skillfully acquaints the reader with research indicating the link between sleep and behavior difficulties and offers realistic, practical solutions. Her appreciation and empathy for the challenges of parenting are evident on every page of this remarkable book.

Robert Brooks

Mary Sheedy Kurcinka insightfully homes in on the details of family routines that can contribute to (or undermine) getting a good night’s sleep, offering memorable, engaging family anecdotes and ‘antidotes.’ Mary’s book is an excellent and unique addition to the available parenting literature focusing on sleep and sleeplessness!

Laurel Wills

"Mary Sheedy Kurcinka has written another excellent book for parents, this one about the seemingly inevitable power struggles between parents and their children. She provides wise, practical, and clear suggestions on how to avoid these conflicts and manage them better, chiefly by understanding the emotions that are fueling them. If only we all had this book a generation ago!"

William B. Carey

"Kids, Parents, and Power Struggles is a helpful addition to the parenting literature and a delight to read. Kurcinka's vivid descriptions bring to light common conflicts, but her primary lesson is that power struggles give parents an opportunity to teach their children better ways of expressing frustration, anger, jealousy, and other emotions. Kurcinka also helps us recognize the role that temperament, both our own and out child's, plays in family life—and that continued success depends on respecting our differences."

Stella Chess

A welcome and innovative guide for both parents and health care providers. I am excited to incorporate its wisdom into my own pediatric practice.

Marjorie Hogan

Mary Sheedy Kurcinka’s Sleepless in America has some of the best tips for sleepy families.

Minneapolis Star Tribune

"Through excellent examples and easy-to-read text, this book provides parents with a pathway to understanding their child's temperament and to a place where parents can balance the needs of their child's unique temperament with their own needs and those of their family."

James Cameron

★ 11/01/2020

Kurcinka (Raising Your Spirited Child) says "spirited infants" make up 20 to 25 percent of all full-term babies, all of whom are genetically wired with a naturally more reactive arousal system. Using the gentle NUDGE method, which includes noting what your baby can do, understanding figure goals, then determining small steps to reach the goal, gently practicing and then easing back support as the baby becomes more proficient on their own, the author also recommends focusing on listening to your baby, staying calm yourself so you can calm the baby, and meeting your own basic needs so you can better meet the baby's needs. VERDICT Sure to be a landmark book, Kurcinka's well-researched advice may just be a sanity and sleep saver for new parents.

Library Journal