Puzzled: A Memoir about Growing Up with OCD

by Pan Cooke, Pan Cooke (Illustrator)

Overview

Growing up with undiagnosed OCD sure isn’t easy, and here Pan Cooke shares his own experiences with that condition in a graphic-novel memoir that is as funny as it is powerfully candid and openhearted.

Pan Cooke is ten years old when anxious thoughts begin to take over his brain like pieces of an impossible puzzle. What if he blurts out a swear word while in church? What if he accidentally writes something mean in his classmate’s get-well card? What if his friend’s racy photo of a supermodel ends up in his own homework and is discovered by his teacher? More and more, he becomes hijacked by fears that can only be calmed through exhausting, time-consuming rituals.

Pan has no way of knowing that this anxiety puzzle and the stressful attempts to solve it are evidence of a condition called Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. This is his story of living with and eventually learning about OCD. Told with endearing honesty and humor, Puzzled shows the reader the importance of empathy for oneself and those going through something they don’t yet understand.

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9780593615621
Publisher:	Penguin Young Readers Group
Publication date:	04/16/2024
Pages:	224
Sales rank:	235,950
Product dimensions:	5.30(w) x 8.25(h) x 0.68(d)
Lexile:	HL510L (what's this?)
Age Range:	10 - 14 Years

About the Author

Pan Cooke is an Irish artist and “cartoonivist” residing in Dublin, Ireland. He frequently posts cartoons about social issues on Instagram, where he has a large following, and he has created comics for Amnesty International and Campaign Zero. This memoir is his first book.

Editorial Reviews

"The novel’s clean, unadorned art style enhances the persuasive verbal and visual jigsaw metaphor, which clearly evidences the creator’s lonely hardship as his numerous attempts to solve the unrelenting Puzzle fail. In a closing chapter, Cooke shares his first experience attending therapy, provides a digestible introduction to OCD’s multiple forms and symptoms, and dispels common myths about the disorder.” —Publishers Weekly


"The cheery colors in many of the panels serve as a stark contrast to the dark thoughts in Pan’s head, while the blue-gray panels illustrating Pan’s thought spirals emphasize his distress. Pan’s striking story handles mental health withcare and precision, dispelling myths about OCD and providing readers with the language necessary to discuss its signs and symptoms. Readers will also appreciate the quick yet comprehensive overview of cognitive behavioral therapy treatment toward the end. A harrowing yet ultimately hopeful look at the manifestation of mental illness.” —Kirkus


"A vulnerable account of trying to fit in, finding your place in the world, and the experience of being a regular teen while living with chronic intrusive thoughts. The vivid graphic representations of these intrusive thoughts in the main character Pan’s mind tangibly illustrate the struggles that they face, while the supporting text demonstrates how they operate outwardly in the public sphere. The author gives a realistic and frank perspective to symptoms and signs of the disorder, while also dispelling the myths and stereotypes that are often associated with it. A powerful graphic novel memoir that gives readers an authenticaccount of life with OC.” —School Library Journal

From the Publisher

01/15/2024

Irish cartoonist Cooke’s debut graphic novel memoir neatly articulates his childhood and teenage experience managing persistent anxious thoughts that he deems “the Puzzle,” which he later learns is undiagnosed obsessive compulsive disorder. The novel’s clean, unadorned art style enhances the persuasive verbal and visual jigsaw metaphor, which clearly evidences the creator’s lonely hardship as his numerous attempts to solve the unrelenting Puzzle fail. At first, 10-year-old Cooke, who attends Catholic school, engages in an extensive bedtime prayer routine, only tucking himself in once his Hail Marys feel just right. At 12, intrusive thoughts insist he must run up the stairs or risk his family dying horrifically. When, at 14, he begins counting calories, the compulsion soon results in an anorexia and hypochondria diagnosis that eventually leads him to uncovering a “piece that fits”: a description of OCD. In a closing chapter, Cooke shares his first experience attending therapy, provides a digestible introduction to OCD’s multiple forms and symptoms, and dispels common myths about the disorder, explaining that people who like cleaning and organizing are not a “little OCD” because “no one with OCD enjoys what it makes them do.” An afterword concludes. Ages 10–14. (Apr.)

Publishers Weekly

04/01/2024

Gr 6–8—A vulnerable account of trying to fit in, finding your place in the world, and the experience of being a regular teen while living with chronic intrusive thoughts. The vivid graphic representations of these intrusive thoughts in the main character Pan's mind tangibly illustrate the struggles that they face, while the supporting text demonstrates how they operate outwardly in the public sphere. Pan's thoughts, set in a blue-gray palette, become known as the Puzzle, which they try to solve through different regimens that seemingly overtake them. In contrast, Pan's public life is shown in brighter, more vibrant shades. In such an authentic representation, the content surrounding OCD may be triggering to some readers; however, the author gives a realistic and frank perspective to symptoms and signs of the disorder, while also dispelling the myths and stereotypes that are often associated with it. Puzzled includes other heavy topics, such as mental health, peer pressure, eating disorders, bullying, anxiety, faith, and family. VERDICT A powerful graphic novel memoir that gives readers an authentic account of life with OCD; for collections that include Sunshine by Jarrett J. Krosoczka and A Work in Progress by Jarrett Lerner.—Cat Miserendino

School Library Journal

2024-01-19
An Irish boy navigates coming of age while living with OCD in this graphic memoir.

At 10, Pan realized he was different from his friends. While they obsessed over Pokémon cards, Pan, who has light skin and a mop of tousled brown hair, found that he battled intrusive thoughts that kept him awake well into the night. He calls these thoughts “the Puzzle.” His efforts to find solutions included repetitive prayers, compulsive counting, and an eventual descent into disordered eating, all while navigating his school career. Pan attends a Catholic school and questions whether he’s possessed by the devil, if God is speaking to him, or if he’s just plain “crazy.” When his symptoms turn physical, he seeks help from myriad specialists. The doctors find nothing physically wrong with him, so he takes to the internet for assistance and stumbles upon his eventual diagnosis of OCD. The cheery colors in many of the panels serve as a stark contrast to the dark thoughts in Pan’s head, while the blue-gray panels illustrating Pan’s thought spirals emphasize his distress. Pan’s striking story handles mental health with care and precision, dispelling myths about OCD and providing readers with the language necessary to discuss its signs and symptoms. Readers will also appreciate the quick yet comprehensive overview of cognitive behavioral therapy treatment toward the end.

A harrowing yet ultimately hopeful look at the manifestation of mental illness. (content warning) (Graphic memoir. 10-14)

Kirkus Reviews