Praying Through: Overcoming the Obstacles That Keep Us from God

by Jarrett Stevens, John Ortberg (Foreword by)

Overview

Life can be hard. Prayer doesn’t have to be.
Whatever is going on with you right now, God is actually interested. And yet connecting with God through prayer can often feel foreign, challenging, or beyond our reach.

But here’s the thing: You’re already awesome at prayer.

You just don’t know it . . . yet.

Through over twenty years of pastoring and writing, Jarrett Stevens has made it his mission to connect the dots between God and our everyday lives. With fresh biblical insights, powerful stories, and spiritually practical practices, Praying Through will help you connect with God in fresh and meaningful ways no matter what season you may be going through.

Whether you’re new to prayer, or God seems silent, or you’re grieving a loss, or you need direction, or you're feeling grateful and don’t know how to express it—you don’t have to let these obstacles keep you from God.

There is a way for you to pray through!

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9781631469848
Publisher:	The Navigators
Publication date:	01/07/2020
Sold by:	Barnes & Noble
Format:	eBook
Pages:	224
File size:	2 MB

About the Author

Jarrett Stevens founded and copastors Soul City Church with his wife, Jeanne. He is also the author of Four Small Words: A Simple Way to Understand the Bible and The Deity Formerly Known as God.

Read an Excerpt

CHAPTER 1

WHEN EVERYTHING IS NEW

To pray means to be willing to be naive.

EMILIE GRIFFIN

I've torn my ACL ... twice. The same knee. Four years apart, almost to the day. The first time was shortly after I turned forty. I had made a list of forty things that I wanted to accomplish in my fortieth year. One of them was picking up where I had left off with skateboarding some ten years prior. My resurrected skateboarding career lasted all of forty-five minutes. It ended with me clawing and crawling my way out of a six-foot-deep bowl at a skate park in Des Moines, Iowa, and driving five hours back home to Chicago ... with a torn ACL and three Advil in my system.

The second time I tore my ACL was in the heat of battle. Our staff had converted the church into a Nerf-gun battle zone, and it was men versus women. The women, led by my wife, Jeanne, were cheating terribly. Something had to be done. Someone had to put an end to their tyranny. That someone was me ... until, running around a corner, I heard the familiar "pop" of my left knee. I knew exactly what I had done. I had torn my ACL — playing with Nerfs.

Leading up to and well after surgery each time, I had an unpaid part-time job: going to physical therapy. Three times a week for four months, I showed up. Each time, I spent an hour to an hour and a half doing the smallest and seemingly most insignificant exercises: Balancing on one foot. Balancing on one foot while standing on a foam pad. Balancing on one foot while standing on a foam pad while throwing a ball against a wall. Walking. Stepping on and off a six-inch wooden block. Sitting. Rainy-day recess involved more exercise than this, and yet I had to do it to get back to where I had been. I had to do things that felt simple and small over and over until they became normal.

This is how prayer can seem when everything is new. It can feel slow and small and frustrating. It can feel intimidating and overwhelming. It can feel like learning to walk all over again. Or more specifically, learning to talk all over again. It can feel clumsy and repetitive and leave you wondering if you'll ever figure it out. If you're new to prayer or coming back to prayer and find yourself having this kind of reaction or experience, here's some good news — you're never going to figure it out. Encouraging, right? Here's why it's good news: You're not supposed to figure it out.

Prayer is a spiritual practice that takes ... wait for it ... practice. The point of prayer is not perfection but participation. No one ever figures out prayer. Now, I know what you're thinking — But what about Jesus? He seemed to have prayer figured out. True. Jesus is a safe answer to most spiritual questions. But even all of Jesus' prayer bona fides didn't cause him to pray any less. If anything, he prayed more. We find Jesus praying all the time. Jesus, who was fully God and fully human, chose to practice prayer, which is a great reminder to those who have been praying for a long time. I have been praying for almost forty years, and there have been several times in my life when I needed to start over with prayer to get back to that first-crush rush that comes from connecting with God. Maybe what you most need is a do-over with prayer, and you're ready to begin again.

If you want to grow and are willing to start where you're at, you can learn to pray just like Jesus. If you're willing to ask God for help with prayer (as one of Jesus' disciples does in Luke 11:1), you are already further along than you realize. And over time, as you commit yourself to prayer, what is new right now will become a natural and necessary part of your life — something that you love to do and don't even have to think about. Just like learning to walk all over again.

EVERYTHING YOU KNOW WAS NEW ONCE

Except for a handful of things, everything you do you had to learn to do. Things like breathing and sleeping and blinking were included in the box. Everything else you had to learn.

You learned how to eat solid foods (as well as which foods you liked and which ones you didn't like).

You had to learn how to walk.

You had to learn how to talk.

You had to learn how to dress yourself (post-onesies).

You had to learn how to read by yourself and write without autocorrect.

You had to learn how to ride a bike.

You had to learn math, history, and science — and how to play "Hot Cross Buns" on the recorder.

You had to learn (albeit awkwardly) how to kiss.

I could go on and on. Just about everything you know how to do was new at some point. Either someone taught you or you figured it out on your own. No one argues that. The place where we often have a problem, however, is in admitting that we don't know things. No one likes to admit they are a newbie. Acknowledging that you don't know how to do something requires a level of humility and vulnerability that doesn't always come naturally.

During college, I landed a high-profile job in the domestic-foods export industry. Okay, I was a pizza delivery guy (but you must admit, it sounds better the other way). One night when my car broke down, I had to borrow a coworker's car to keep making deliveries. He threw me the keys as he asked, "You know how to drive a stick (manual transmission), right?"

"Of course!" I answered. I did not. It was one of the longest nights of my life as I revved and rolled my way backward through the hills of San Francisco's East Bay. True story: It took me forty-five minutes to deliver one particular order ... only two miles away.

Why didn't I just answer honestly? Why was it so hard to admit that I didn't know how to drive a stick shift? One word: pride. I didn't want my coworker to know that I didn't know. You may not think of yourself as a prideful person, but if you've ever found it hard to admit that you don't know something or have resisted being taught something new, then you have wrestled with pride. And when it comes to prayer, nothing gets in the way more than pride. Our fear of vulnerability and aversion to authenticity can keep us from intimacy with God. Pride prevents prayer. If you are not ready to admit that you don't know, then you are not ready to really grow. This is why Andrew Murray, a nineteenth-century writer and pastor, wrote that "pride must die in you or nothing of heaven can live in you."1

If, however, you are willing to admit to God and yourself where you are actually at with prayer, endless possibilities await. If you can summon the courage of humility to say that you need help, you are already well on your way to an ever-expanding prayer life.

A friend recently and quite radically said yes to Jesus for the first time. As someone who had been very successful in his career and had achieved more than he ever could have dreamed, he found himself, in his midforties, starting from the beginning with God. He didn't own a Bible. He had never really prayed before. And he had never visited church more than two weeks in a row.

Beginning a relationship with God halfway through your life can be very humbling. But rather than playing into pride, he has unapologetically owned where he is at. We got him his first Bible (rather, he stole it from church, but we let that slide). He asked where he should begin in the Bible. We told him the Gospel of Mark. He finished it in a week and decided to read Matthew, Luke, and John on his own. He admitted that he had never really prayed before but wanted to learn.

At dinner recently, we talked about prayer, and he told me, "I've been praying to God, and I haven't really heard anything from him lately ... so I've moved on to the Holy Spirit." I love it! His hunger for spiritual growth is awe-inspiring. And what is most impressive to me is his humility. When you are willing to admit where you're at, you can go just about anywhere.

Perhaps the most powerful prayer for someone who is new to prayer or coming back to it is simply this: "God, teach me how to pray." Rather than pretending you know it all or shaming yourself for not, can you muster the courage to meet Jesus where you are at and echo the simple request of one of Jesus' own disciples? To admit that you are new and to start there?

PRACTICING PRAYER

Again, think about all the things you've learned how to do up to this point in your life. My hunch is that in the process of learning whatever it is that you don't even think twice about anymore, you never stopped to think about why you didn't know how to do it. You probably didn't get all that discouraged or defeated. You just came across something that you didn't know how to do, and you tried it. And you tried it again. You might have fumbled around for a bit until you figured it out. Or you found someone else who knew how to do it, and you asked for help. But you kept doing it and kept doing it until it became second nature to you.

So it is with prayer.

Like just about everything else in your life, you start where you're at, and you try. And you try again. And you fumble around for a while. And eventually you muster enough courage to ask for help — which, in so many ways, is what you have already done by placing this book in your hands.

It all comes down to whether you are willing to learn. Are you willing to start where you're at? And are you willing to believe that God isn't waiting for you to get it all right ... but in fact is already with you, teaching you how to pray?

TEACH ME TO PRAY

If there were a Greatest Hits of Prayer, without a doubt the Lord's Prayer (Matthew 6:9-13 and Luke 11:2-4) would top the list. It's the "Bohemian Rhapsody" of prayer ... only with less falsetto. It's easily the most well-known prayer from the Bible, recognized around the world. This prayer has been studied, memorized, recited, and sung for some two thousand years. It is familiar to both children and adults. In the church that I grew up in, we sang it as a song on Sunday mornings. I always loved that because it built and built until the end, when everyone sang at the top of their lungs and from the bottom of their hearts, "For thine is the kiiiingdom, and the powwwwer, and the glooooorrrry foreveeeeeevvvverrrrr. Aaaaamen." It was definitely a showstopper!

But this iconic prayer that Jesus taught us did not come from some three-point sermon or prepared remarks. It came from a deep place. It came from raw and real desire. It came from Jesus recognizing that his friends, who were new to prayer — or at the very least, prayer like this — needed help. They were willing to admit that they needed help. In fact, it says in Luke 11:1,

One day Jesus was praying in a certain place. When he finished, one of his disciples said to him, "Lord, teach us to pray, just as John taught his disciples." What we see here is that the disciples had seen something — two somethings, to be precise:

1. They had seen Jesus pray.

2. They had seen John's disciples pray.

And they wanted what others seemed to have.

Watching Jesus Pray

At this point, the disciples had been with Jesus for a year, maybe more. They had seen Jesus pray a good bit. They noticed that he regularly pulled away from the din and demand of the crowds to seek silence and solitude. They had also heard him pray. In Luke 9, we read several accounts of Jesus praying. He prayed as he gave thanks for the miraculous provision of God at the feeding of the five thousand (verse 16). He prayed with a handful of his disciples right before his transfiguration (verses 28-29).

After seventy-two of his followers returned from their first ministry adventure, Jesus prayed while "full of joy through the Holy Spirit" (Luke 10:21). And in Luke 11:1, we see that the disciples had been watching Jesus while he prayed. They had seen Jesus pray. They had seen God the Son speak with God the Father. Jesus, the one we pray to, was a participant in prayer. This is worth considering for a moment.

Can you imagine what that would have been like? God the Son ... praying through God the Spirit ... to God the Father. I'm not sure if there is any purer, more potent prayer than that. And the disciples got to witness it! They got to experience it with him. It would be like sharing a driveway basketball hoop with LeBron James. Or like having Danica Patrick as your Uber driver. They had proximity to prayer in its most powerful and personal state. You'd think that watching Jesus pray would have been enough of an education for these first followers. But it wasn't. They had their eyes elsewhere as well.

Watching Others Pray

Luke 11:1 tells us that a large part of the motivation for the disciples' interest in prayer was rooted in some level of comparison and competition. They had seen the way John's disciples prayed. The John they are referring to here is Jesus' cousin, John the Baptizer. Like Jesus, he had disciples. And apparently, John had taught his disciples to pray. Whether out of inspiration, comparison, or competition, Jesus' disciples wanted what John's disciples seemed to have when it came to prayer. This is common for folks who are new to prayer or are coming back to it: We want what others seem to have.

I remember hearing one of my favorite authors, Anne Lamott, pray at an intimate event where she was speaking years ago. I had been praying for most of my life, but I had never prayed like she prayed. It was honest and unpolished. Raw and real. She may have even sworn in that prayer; I can't recall. But it wouldn't surprise me. This was not how I was taught to pray, but I was immediately captured by it. I wanted to pray like Anne Lamott prayed.

The disciples' desire and demand for Jesus to teach them to pray is an invitation for us to ask the same. The disciples were not new to prayer. As good Jewish kids, they had grown up reciting prayers and attending prayer services. Some examples of these follow:

• the shema — a morning and evening prayer declaring God's wholeness, holiness, and oneness

• the shaharith — a morning prayer service filled with blessing and naming the day's needs

• the minhah — an afternoon prayer service for confession and contrition

• the maarib — an evening prayer service fo recommitting the body to God's service

• the birkat hamazon — a prayer of grace said after meals

These were prayers they were taught and had memorized and practiced since they were kids. They knew how to pray these kinds of prayers, but there was something about the way Jesus prayed that felt new. It was personal rather than polished — more in the moment rather than merely memorized. Not that there was anything wrong with the way they had been taught to pray ... it just seemed as though there could be more. Rather than feeling intimidated, they became intrigued. So they asked Jesus for help. And help, he did.

A WAY TO PRAY

Jesus gave us a way to pray. Forgoing formulas and trite prayers to recite, Jesus laid out the spirit and flow of how we can come to God with all of who we are to experience all of who he is. If you're new to prayer — or like Jesus' disciples, new to this way of praying — the Lord's Prayer can be not only helpful but also transformational. Rather than rushing through it or just reciting it, let's go slowly through Matthew 6, taking a moment to find all that God has for us in this way to pray.

"Our Father in Heaven, Hallowed Be Your Name"

Right off the bat, Jesus acknowledges who God is, where he's at, and how we come to him. From this most familiar prayer, it is perhaps these first two words that we have become most familiar with: Our Father. They're why some folks call this prayer "the Our Father." It's not a very original title, but it is effective. In our formality and familiarity with this prayer, though, it's easy to miss what Jesus was teaching us. Many biblical scholars believe that the Aramaic word Jesus used for Father here is abba.Abba does not translate to the formality of the word father as we understand it but is best understood in our language as daddy. It's intimate. It's personal. It immediately implies the type of relationship we are meant to have with God. He is our Abba Daddy.

But this is no ordinary daddy; this is a perfect parent who is enthroned in heaven. Jesus uses the word translated as hallowed to deepen our relationship with God. Hallowed is a "Bible-y" word if ever there was one. It's not one we tend to use every day. When was the last time you described a movie as "hallowed"? Probably not recently (or often). Simply put, hallowed means holy, sacred, and set apart. In other words, God is our Holy Daddy who is worthy of all worship in heaven and earth ... and yet is intimately available to us whenever we call. He's bigger than we can conceive and closer than we can imagine.

(Continues…)

---

Excerpted from "Praying Through"
by .
Copyright © 2020 Jarrett Stevens.
Excerpted by permission of NavPress.
All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
Excerpts are provided by Dial-A-Book Inc. solely for the personal use of visitors to this web site.

---

Table of Contents

FOREWORD, xi,
INTRODUCTION: DEAR GOD, 1,
1 When Everything Is New, 11,
2 When I Need to Say Thanks, 39,
3 When I Need Help, 65,
4 When I Am Worried, 93,
5 When I Am Gripped by Grief, 113,
6 When I Need Direction, 135,
7 When I Don't Hear Anything, 159,
8 When I Am out of Words, 177,
CONCLUSION: AMEN, 195,
THANKS TO, 199,
NOTES, 201,
ABOUT THE AUTHOR, 205,

What People are Saying About This

Carlos Whittaker

We serve a conversational God, a God who wants to know us and who wants us to know him through every season of life. What Jarrett has done through this book is to uncomplicate what so many Christians have complicated: how to simply have a conversation with God. I thank God for this book and for my friend Jarrett.

Sam Collier

You don’t find many books on prayer that are written in the voice of this generation. This is that kind of book! Praying Through is honest, hilarious, and helpful. Jarrett has a way of turning deep spiritual disciplines into helpful habits that we can actually practice in each and every season of life. No matter where you’re at with God or with prayer, this book is for you!

Mike Foster

Jarrett Stevens is a dear friend and a deep soul. And what he has given us through this book is a real gift. If you’re looking to connect with God in real and authentic ways but find yourself stuck or lost, this book is for you. Through refreshing honesty and humor and spiritually practical wisdom, Praying Through helps you find your way to deeper places with God no matter what season you find yourself in.

Dan Kimball

There are many books out there on prayer, but not like this one. Praying Through is not just theoretical or overly mystical or written so long ago that it is hard to apply today. It doesn’t leave you feeling defeated and guilty because you aren’t praying enough. It is an encouraging, practical, real-life, sticking-to-the-actual-Bible-teachings guide to prayer. By the end of this book, because it relates to the real struggles we have today, you will find yourself becoming increasingly aware of how much God loves us, and you’ll pray more naturally and often as a result.

Kyle Korver

Over the past decade, I have watched Jarrett Stevens get on his knees and seek the heart of God through so many circumstances. The honesty and openness of his process has allowed him to become a trusted voice in my life—and through this book, I believe he can become the same to you.

Bianca Juarez Olthoff

As the daughter of a pastor, I grew up around prayer. It was like a second language in our home. But just because I grew up around prayer doesn’t mean that I grew up in prayer. Over the years, I’ve found myself occasionally stuck and lost, passionless and purposeless in prayer. We all have. That’s why I love this book: Jarrett Stevens has given us a deep and simple guidebook for navigating all of life’s seasons through prayer. If you want to grow in prayer and your relationship with God, then TREAT YO SELF to this book!

Aaron Niequist

I’ve known Jarrett for almost twenty years, and he is honestly one of the most gifted teachers around. He has a brilliant way of bringing lofty theological ideas into the messy reality of everyday life. This book is no exception. Jarrett has taken a topic that feels both overfamiliar and overwhelming and offers tangible handles and on-ramps. Through stories, Scripture, a great sense of humor, and the weighty wisdom of someone who has walked the journey for many years, this book will help you move from feeling paralyzed by the idea of prayer to saying, “I can do this!”