Table of Contents
Introduction 1 About This Book 1
Conventions Used in This Book 2
Foolish Assumptions 2
How This Book Is Organised 3
Part I: Getting to Grips: Introducing Positive Psychology 3
Part II: Doing the Time Warp: Past, Present and Future 3
Part III: What Positive Psychology Can Do For You 4
Part IV: Positive Psychology in the Real World 4
Part V: The Part of Tens 4
Icons Used in This Book 4
Where to Go from Here 5
Part I: Getting to Grips: Introducing Positive Psychology 7
Chapter 1: Always Look on the Bright Side of Life 9
Putting the Positive in Psychology 9
Looking for a message 9
Being authentically happy 10
Building an evidence-based case 10
Measuring the good, the bad and the ugly 12
Living a positive life 12
Studying positive psychology 13
Having positive experiences 13
Recognising positive traits 15
Building positive relationships 16
Constructing positive institutions 16
Making It Worth Your While 19
Benefiting from positivity 19
Chapter 2: Why Being Healthy, Well and Happy is a Really Good Idea 21
Reaping the Health Benefits 21
A happy heart 22
Living the positive life 23
Building immunity 24
Assisting angry Andrew 26
Creating healthy habits 27
Living with Satisfaction 28
Becoming a well individual 28
Building societies with wellbeing 28
AIMing for Happiness 32
Attending to the good stuff 33
Interpreting for the best 34
Memorising effectively 35
Part II: Doing the Time Warp: Past, Present and Future 37
Chapter 3: Tackling the Past 39
Dealing with the Past 39
Mapping old issues 40
Letting go – forgiving if not forgetting 41
Knowing How to be Grateful 46
Giving thanks 47
Counting your blessings 48
Adopting a Childlike Approach 50
Being how you want to be 50
Choosing the best life 50
Chapter 4: Living in the Present 53
Dancing in the Moment 53
Creating your own energy 53
The Johari Window 54
Being mindful 56
Laying ghosts 59
Getting Into the Flow 62
Being in the zone 62
Boosting happiness and fulfilment 64
Chapter 5: Planning for the Future 65
Looking Forward Joyfully 66
Anticipating the best 70
Making positive thoughts happen 70
Developing Optimism 71
Taking the thinking questionnaire 71
Thinking positively 74
Perfect-world thinking 75
Behaving constructively 76
Focusing on What Matters 77
Sorting out priorities 78
Ditching the unimportant 79
Leaving a Legacy 80
Living with a purpose 80
Making your mark on the world 81
Putting it all together 82
Part III: What Positive Psychology can do for you 83
Chapter 6: Finding Pleasure in Life 85
What Is Pleasure? 85
The law of diminishing returns 87
Breaking free from the materialist trap 89
Finding Real Pleasures 91
Celebrating the ordinary 91
Indulging in simple pleasures 92
Having a beautiful day 93
Sleepwalking through Life 93
Waking up to smell the roses 94
Taking stock of experiences 97
Chapter 7: Engaging in Life: Using your Signature Strengths 99
Analysing Your Signature Strengths 99
Appreciating your strengths 100
Understanding your strengths 100
Considering your weaknesses 102
Playing To Your Strengths 103
Identifying your strengths and virtues 103
Using your signature strengths daily 110
Shoring up your weaknesses 111
Finding Strengths in Others 111
Recognising other people’s virtues 111
Chapter 8: Developing Meaning in Life 113
Is This All There Is? 114
Rising above the humdrum 115
Making your mark on the world 116
Something Bigger Than Yourself 117
Connecting with others 117
Making a real difference 120
Chapter 9: Becoming your Best 123
Keeping Yourself Afloat 123
Sources of resilience 124
Getting through 126
Building your personal model of resilience 128
Having Fun 128
Looking for joy in your life 129
Living humorously 129
Living Confidently 131
Thinking Constructively 132
Listening to the voices 133
Building firm beliefs 133
Taking Gratitude Further 134
Seeing things afresh 135
Practising thankfulness 136
Experiencing Engagement 136
The big five strengths 136
Having self-respect and pride 137
Making Your Life Count 137
Choosing your destiny 138
Living up to your values 138
Chapter 10: Staying Healthy with Positive Psychology 141
Living Like It Matters 141
The healthy life checklist 142
Developing positive good health 143
Changing positively: The four-stage change model 144
Building a personal happiness programme 147
Overcoming Stress 149
Understanding stress 149
Taking a perspective on life, yourself and others 153
Building your resources 155
Learning to bounce back 156
Part IV: Positive Psychology in the Real World 157
Chapter 11: Making Relationships Work 159
Getting to Know You 159
Avoiding relationship pitfalls 161
Acknowledging and using each other’s signature strengths 162
Using Positive Communication 164
Taking the emotionally smart approach 164
Recognising your own feelings 165
Picking up on the non-verbal signs 166
Setting the climate control 168
Keeping talking 169
Looking at you, me and us 171
Investing Your Time 172
Planning the perfect date 172
Celebrating together 173
Creating carefree holidays 173
Building great friendships 174
Chapter 12: Becoming a Positive Parent 177
Making Happiness a Habit 177
Pleasing yourself! 178
Being engaged 180
Finding meaning 182
Measuring Family Strengths 183
Recognising the best in each other 185
Defining the key elements of a happy family 190
Being the Best Parent You Can Be 192
Facing the good, the bad and the ugly of parenting 194
Being a great step-parent 195
Making Happy Children 196
Celebrating success 196
Building positive rituals 198
Avoiding excessive materialism 199
Chapter 13: Embracing the Extended Family 201
Building Family Networks 201
Making connections 202
Getting On with the In-Laws 203
Seeing the best 205
Reaching a compromise 207
Acknowledging the Elderly 207
Developing wisdom 209
Recognising change 210
Extending the Family 211
Chapter 14: Understanding Why Work Matters 213
Providing a Structure 213
Discovering how work can make you happy 214
Using your time productively 216
Right time, right focus 219
Being a Shining Star! 219
Considering you at your best 220
Sharing the limelight 221
Chapter 15: Being your Best in the Workplace 225
Knowing Your Work Strengths 225
Learning from the past 228
Swapping round pegs and square holes 229
Using your work strengths in unlikely settings 230
Using Your Strengths Meaningfully 231
Novel ways of using your strengths 232
Measuring and Increasing Your Flow 233
Knowing Your Signature Strengths 235
Getting the Team Working Well 238
Recognising strengths in others 238
Using other people’s strengths to make what’s good even better 238
Flourishing versus languishing teams 239
Reviewing resilience questions 242
Part V: The Part of Tens 245
Chapter 16: Ten Top Activities 247
Developing Gratitude 247
Recognising Your Blessings 248
Creating a Beautiful Day 249
Learning to Worry Well 249
Half An Hour a Day 249
My Worry Journal 250
Being Me at My Best 251
Using Sentence Completion 251
Recognising Different Facets of Yourself 254
Discovering Your Purpose 255
Learning to Be Optimistic (ABCDE) 255
Undertaking Deliberate Acts of Kindness 256
Chapter 17: Ten Useful Resources 259
www.authentichappiness.sas.upenn.edu 259
www.centreforconfi dence.co.uk 259
www.cappeu.org 260
www.ippanetwork.org 260
www.positivepsychology.net 260
www.dalailamacenter.org 260
Authentic Happiness by Martin E. P. Seligman, Ph.D 260
Happiness: Unlocking the Mysteries of Psychological Wealth by Ed Diener and Robert Biswas Diener 261
Character Strengths and Virtues by Christopher Peterson and Martin E.P. Seligman 261
Flow: The Psychology of Optimal Experience by Mihaly Csikzentmihalyi 261
Chapter 18: Ten Positive Inspirations 263
Pay it Forward (film, 2000) 264
It’s a Wonderful Life (film, 1946) 264
The Diving Bell and the Butterfly (film, 2007) 264
Thank you for being a Friend, Andrew Gold (song, 1978) 265
My Way, Frank Sinatra (song, 1969) 265
Lean on Me, Bill Withers, (song, 1972) 265
The Prophet, by Khalil Ghibran (book, 1998) 265
Random Acts of Kindness: 365 Ways to Make the World a Nicer Place, by Danny Wallace (book, 2004) 266
Who Moved My Cheese, by Spencer Jones (book, 1998) 266
The Art of Happiness: A handbook for Living, by His Holiness the Dalai Lama and Howard C. Cutler, (book, 1999) 267
Index 269
