I am a comedian, performance artist, actor, screenwriter, filmmaker and author because a career counselor told me I’d never be able to hold down a straight gig. This prediction was accurate: I have been fired from 79 normal jobs.
My pets: 12 cats, seven dogs, four birds, two fish, two lizards and one rabbit. Most of these pets are dead and reside in plastic containers in the back closet. Those that are alive reside in the middle of my bed. I hope to get two more dogs tomorrow. Oh, and two goats.
If I weren’t so gorgeous, you would think I am a huge pain in the butt because I lie so much.
SnarkyKu, my first book of haiku, has an average reader rating of 5 stars.
My 79 previous jobs include: machinist, welder, tool & die maker, document shredder, fast food waitress, software engineer, hardware engineer, product marketing, shoe salesman, pants salesman, product manager, field marketing, executive management consultant, process re-engineering consultant, project manager, engineering manager, program manager, film festival director, envelope stuffer, chicken plucker, stripper, pothole counter, necktie folder, reporter, chief operations O]officer, cardboard box folder, glass bottle inspector, vice president of a corporate division, ticket booth jockey, dishwasher, cookie packer, life coach, comedy traffic school instructor, telephone exchange operator, chef specializing in Top Ramen with one egg and no garnish…oh, and a few more.
Several of my screenplays—with elements of insanity—are under discussions with producers.
