Patriarchy Blues: Reflections on Manhood

by Frederick Joseph

Overview

NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER

"[A] scorching treatise on toxic masculinity. Joseph’s critiques of “the patriarchy... both overt and ingrained” are razor-sharp, but it’s the clear-eyed reckoning of his own place within it that tethers the soul of his book." —Publishers Weekly

"Joseph has learned a great deal from bell hooks here, and I think she would be proud because Patriarchy Blues is such a moving, inspiring, rigorous vision for living.” —Robert Jones, Jr., New York Times bestselling author of The Prophets

In this personal and poignant collection, the author of the New York Times bestseller The Black Friend examines the culture of masculinity through the lens of a Black man. 

What does it mean to be a man today? How does the pervasive yet elusive idea of “toxic masculinity” actually reflect men’s experiences—particularly those of color—and how they navigate the world?

In this thought-provoking collection of essays, poems, and short reflections, Frederick Joseph contemplates these questions and more as he explores issues of masculinity and patriarchy from both a personal and cultural standpoint. From fatherhood, and “manning up” to abuse and therapy, he fearlessly and thoughtfully tackles the complex realities of men’s lives today and their significance for society, lending his insights as a Black man.

Written in Joseph’s unique voice, with an intelligence and raw honesty that demonstrates both his vulnerability and compassion, Patriarchy Blues forces us to consider the joys, pains, and destructive nature of manhood and the stereotypes it engenders. 

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9780063138339
Publisher:	HarperCollins
Publication date:	05/17/2022
Sold by:	HARPERCOLLINS
Format:	eBook
Pages:	272
Sales rank:	615,041
File size:	4 MB

About the Author

Frederick Joseph is the New York Times bestselling author of The Black Friend and an award-winning marketing professional, activist, and educator. He was recently featured on the Forbes 30 Under 30 List. He lives in Long Island City, New York.

Table of Contents

Mercy, Mercy Me ix

Introduction: A Legacy of Anti-Patriarchy xi

Lay of the Land 1

The Shore 3

Patriarchy Is … 9

On the Eighth Day the Lord Made Oppression 13

The First Colossus 21

False Binary 23

Generational Curses 33

Green Prisons 40

The Rot in the Garden 42

Gaslighting Culture 53

If These Hands Could Talk 57

Impact or (The Unbelievable Pain Caused) 73

The Blood of Forty-Four 75

Of Monsters and Men 82

The Hypocrisy of Hoteps and the Bourgeoisie 84

Expectations and Shadows 90

A Case for Decriminalizing Sex Work 102

View (By Novell Jordan) 109

Who Carries the Hatred 115

As They Rampage 121

The Epidemic of Rape Culture 123

Womanizer 132

I Come Apart 133

Purity and Grace 140

Accountability in Caste and Intersectionality 148

On Patriarchal Violence 155

In Defense of Black Women 161

Black Women Are Not Your Mules 163

Dear Oluwatoyin 174

Black Body Politics 181

My Mother's Son 182

Notes from a King 184

What Does a Black Person Owe This Country? 193

The Oppressed May Also Be the Oppressors 208

A Good White Woman (I'm an Ally) 211

What White Feminism Has Taken; Part 1: The Shield 214

What White Feminism Has Taken; Part 2: The Sword 226

Building Anew 237

Therapy (How Do You Feel?) 239

What Was Made, May Be Broken 242

In That Dirty Mirror 245

In the End (Letting Go of Our Fathers) 247

Acknowledgments 251

Bibliography 253

Editorial Reviews

02/28/2022

Concepts of privilege, power, race, and gender are put on trial in this scorching treatise on toxic masculinity. When Joseph (The Black Friend) was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis at 24, he took stock of his life and saw he’d been navigating the world “through a misogynistic” perspective. In addressing that, he delivers a series of stringent essays aiming to “uproot” a contemporary cultural landscape that has “conditioned us to uphold not only homophobia, misogyny, and transphobia—but white supremacy as well.” In “The Shore,” he uses the film The Matrix to examine the ways society’s racist and sexist power dynamics act like a “computer-generated world” designed to oppress its people (Christianity, he argues, “gaslight believers” to perpetuate a similar hierarchical system). He also takes searing aim, in “The Rot in the Garden,” at social media—which “open a world of possibility” while reinforcing harmful prejudices—and wonders whether, rather than “canceling,” people should be “asking each other to evolve.” Joseph’s critiques of “the patriarchy... both overt and ingrained” are razor-sharp, but it’s the clear-eyed reckoning of his own place within it that tethers the soul of his book: “As a Black man I should not be above reproach... simply because I also face oppression.” This potent work makes a systemic issue immensely personal. (May)

Publishers Weekly

[A] scorching treatise on toxic masculinity. Joseph’s critiques of “the patriarchy... both overt and ingrained” are razor-sharp, but it’s the clear-eyed reckoning of his own place within it that tethers the soul of his book…This potent work makes a systemic issue immensely personal.” — Publishers Weekly

“In Patriarchy's Blues: Reflections on Manhood, Frederick Joseph deftly peels away the layers of innocence we all attempt to cling to when confronted with our own complicity in harmful paradigms, providing a blueprint for how we might be able to reclaim ourselves by replacing the horrors of domination with projects of radical compassion, empathy, vulnerability, and self-inventory—which is to say, finally become human. Joseph has learned a great deal from bell hooks here, and I think she would be proud because Patriarchy Blues is such a moving, inspiring, rigorous vision for living.”  — Robert Jones, Jr., New York Times bestselling author of The Prophets. 

“Patriarchy Blues is an incisive, provocative, and challenging call to action. Through his own turbulent and tender life story, Frederick T. Joseph shows us what patriarchy costs all of us and precisely what’s at stake if we don’t dismantle it. This book is pure fire, the forging kind, the healing kind.”  — Deesha Philyaw, author of The Secret Lives of Church Ladies

“Frederick’s perspective is poignant and necessary and the questions he poses about intersecting identities are stunningly urgent. In a world filled with despair, this book gives me hope.” — Liz Plank, author of For The Love of Men: From Toxic to Mindful Masculinity

"Joseph covers a great deal of ground, taking on rape culture, White privilege, victim blaming, the rights of sex workers, and the fact that “the Black American experience is not monolithic,” always returning to the intersectionality that governs how people are defined and, too often, oppressed… A well-reasoned, wide-ranging plea for a new conception of personhood and justice.” — Kirkus

From the Publisher

In Patriarchy's Blues: Reflections on Manhood, Frederick Joseph deftly peels away the layers of innocence we all attempt to cling to when confronted with our own complicity in harmful paradigms, providing a blueprint for how we might be able to reclaim ourselves by replacing the horrors of domination with projects of radical compassion, empathy, vulnerability, and self-inventory—which is to say, finally become human. Joseph has learned a great deal from bell hooks here, and I think she would be proud because Patriarchy Blues is such a moving, inspiring, rigorous vision for living.” 

Robert Jones

Frederick’s perspective is poignant and necessary and the questions he poses about intersecting identities are stunningly urgent. In a world filled with despair, this book gives me hope.

Liz Plank

Patriarchy Blues is an incisive, provocative, and challenging call to action. Through his own turbulent and tender life story, Frederick T. Joseph shows us what patriarchy costs all of us and precisely what’s at stake if we don’t dismantle it. This book is pure fire, the forging kind, the healing kind.” 

Deesha Philyaw

2022-02-24
Anti-racism activist and philanthropist Joseph turns his attention to issues of intersectional oppression.

“Realizing your life won’t last forever sometimes has a way of reminding you to be free,” writes the author about being diagnosed with multiple sclerosis while contending with the effects of the pandemic on marginalized communities. After the murder of George Floyd, the anti-racism movement found plenty of adherents and allies; missing were similarly extensive discussions of the violence done to trans women, the disproportionate loss of jobs by women of color, and other matters. Anti-racism, he writes, fails if it does not also address homophobia, violence against women, and other “oppressive behaviors and systems.” This involves building an anti-patriarchal movement and rejecting conventional wisdom about gender roles—e.g., girls stay quiet and boys don’t cry, nostrums by which “we are limiting who and what our society is and may become.” We must also call out instances of oppression, which may sometimes take on uncomfortable dimensions: Joseph writes meaningfully of being a one-time fan of Dave Chappelle’s comedy, which worked best when directed against White supremacism and economic privilege but is burdened by “homophobia, misogyny, and anti-Blackness.” In a relatively slender book, Joseph covers a great deal of ground, taking on rape culture, White privilege, victim blaming, the rights of sex workers, and the fact that “the Black American experience is not monolithic,” always returning to the intersectionality that governs how people are defined and, too often, oppressed. His book merits a large audience whose members must “take a sledgehammer to the institutions of yesterday that have kept the most marginalized from power that was never meant solely for men.” In conclusion, Joseph writes, “through the enlightenment of intersectionality we will move these mountains of caste, until equity is not a dream, but rather a standard.”

A well-reasoned, wide-ranging plea for a new conception of personhood and justice.

Kirkus Reviews