Passion and Presence: A Couple's Guide to Awakened Intimacy and Mindful Sex

by Maci Daye

Overview

Awaken your mindful sensuality and reconnect with your partner with Passion and Presence.
 
Most romantic relationships follow a predictable pattern of initial enchantment followed by inevitable disenchantment. But relationships don't have to stay in disenchantment or end! Passion and Presence offers readers a proven path back to connection and intimacy—often in deeper ways than before. Sex therapist Maci Daye draws on her popular international Passion and Presence workshops to show couples how their erotic difficulties can be a portal to creativity, compassion, and unparalleled growth.
 
Exercises and reflections guide readers down what Daye calls the "naked path" of awakened intimacy. On this path, we courageously examine ourselves, our barriers, and our relationship patterns, ultimately finding fresh ways to heal and connect, and revitalize eros. With gentle clarity, Daye addresses the everyday challenges of "real life" sex, such as sex that has become routine, differences in preferences or desire, power struggles, a history of trauma, changes ranging from childbirth to aging, infidelity, communication challenges, and more. Engaging stories depicting couples of diverse ages, backgrounds, genders, and orientations illustrate how the practice of Passion and Presence can help any couple establish a more intimate and wakeful erotic life.

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9781611808131
Publisher:	Shambhala
Publication date:	10/20/2020
Pages:	272
Sales rank:	413,544
Product dimensions:	6.00(w) x 8.90(h) x 0.80(d)

About the Author

MACI DAYE is a licensed professional counselor, certified Hakomi therapist, and certified sex therapist. In addition to clinical practice, she is on the faculty of the Hakomi Institute and teaches in the United States and Europe. She is the creator of Passion and Presence® couples' retreats and a frequent conference presenter. She regularly leads courses in the USA, Australia, New Zealand, and Europe. She holds graduate degrees from Harvard and Georgia State Universities.

Table of Contents

List of Exercises ix

Introduction 1

1 Awakened Intimacy

The Journey of Conscious Erotic Coupling 9

2 Erotic Presence

Cultivating a State of Mind for Intimate and Creative Sex 33

3 Erotic Cooperation

Holding Hands through the Hard Stuff 61

4 Erotic Transformation

Healing and Growing through Sex 95

5 Erotic Expression

Overcoming Shame to Reclaim Your Full Self 129

6 Erotic Attunement

Dancing with Eros from the Inside Out 161

7 Erotic Sustenance

Tending Our Magic through the Seasons 189

Acknowledgments 217

Glossary 223

Notes 225

Index 249

About the Author 261

Editorial Reviews

08/31/2020

Sex therapist Daye stresses “great sex is a mind-set, not a skill set” in her thoughtful debut. The author suggests expanding the definition of sex to include “any touch, movement, or exchange of energy that is pleasurable”; to that end she offers ideas for couples who may be facing limitations due to their emotional state, health, or age and emphasizes that sex shouldn’t be goal-oriented or an achievement, but a shared, even spiritual experience. The first chapters provide tools for exploring one’s past to understand the unique emotional and psychological problems that can come up in sexual situations. Later chapters lay out exercises to help with the physical aspects of intimacy, such as how to overcome barriers with “sexual parts play” (what some would term role-playing) by releasing one’s “multidimensional self” through a “performance trance.” Issues demonstrated through composites of Daye’s patients’ anchor each chapter, offering a peek into the problems others have. However, some readers will find Daye’s salacious descriptions voyeuristic, and her advice often comes overloaded with acronyms, such as her core principle PEP (pure erotic potential), though the does exhibit some clever turns of phrase, such as “Cupid’s leaden arrow” for when passion subsides. By focusing on how mindful attention can aid one’s sex life, Daye succeeds in bringing heart to a sensitive topic. (Oct.)

Publishers Weekly

 
“Learn to inhabit your living body with sacred presence. This is a wonderful guide to deepening intimacy through the seasons of our loving relationships.”—Tara Brach, author of Radical Compassion and Radical Acceptance
 
“Real life has a way of dampening the passion in any relationship. Rather than offering simple tricks to spice it up, Maci Daye shows couples how to get naked by embracing where they are, and who they are, in all their complexity. This book is a trustworthy guide based on the author’s deep understanding of human sexuality and mindful living. Please don’t give up on your relationship, or yourself, before reading this wonderful book!”—Christopher Germer, PhD, author of The Mindful Path to Self-Compassion
 
“The beautiful writing, the vivid case descriptions, and the detailed exercises make Maci Daye’s Passion and Presence a must-read for all people wanting to infuse more presence into their sex lives.”—Lori Brotto, author of Better Sex through Mindfulness
 
“This book brings real tools to all couples looking to increase the passion and connection in their relationship, whatever stage they find themselves. Anyone looking at this book will find a new way to be present with their partner.”—Tammy Nelson, PhD, author of Getting the Sex You Want
 
“In this hopeful and radically transformative book, Maci Daye takes us into the under-layers that block our true sexual potential and outlines a path out of resignation to joyful pleasure. The surprising secret to sustaining or reigniting passion between long-term lovers begins within, and our capacity to ‘be here’ versus ‘get off’ is vital.”—Chelsea Wakefield, PhD, LCSW, author of In Search of Aphrodite 
 
“In this comprehensive and practical book, Maci Daye shares hard-earned wisdom from decades of helping couples use their sexual issues as paths to becoming more fully alive, intimate, and erotic. She writes that ‘Great sex is a mind-set, not a skill-set,’ and proves that with a host of engaging case-studies and experiential exercises that will help you find and heal the inner obstacles to great sex.”—Richard Schwartz, PhD, creator of the Internal Family Systems model of psychotherapy
 
“Maci Daye brings her decades of experience and her wide-open heart to this gentle and wise book. On these pages, you are invited into deeper connection—with your partner and with yourself. Your sexual healing starts now!”—Alexandra Solomon, PhD, author of Loving Bravely and Taking Sexy Back
 
“In this beautiful book, Maci Daye explores the physical, emotional, psychological, and spiritual dimensions of sexuality. If you are looking for a quick fix to your bedroom boredom, this is not for you. And to that, I say hallelujah. Because there are no handy short cuts around sensual disconnect, no easy way to break out of the familiarity trance and bring mindful aliveness to this moment, this touch, this kiss. But if you want to know what it means to be truly naked, together, I strongly recommend Passion and Presence.” —Cheryl Fraser, PhD, author of Buddha’s Bedroom, creator of Become Passion: An Online Course for Couples

"Sex therapist Daye stresses ‘great sex is a mind-set, not a skill set’ in her thoughtful debut. By focusing on how mindful attention can aid one’s sex life, Daye succeeds in bringing heart to a sensitive topic."—Publishers Weekly

From the Publisher