Parenting Jewish Teens: A Guide for the Perplexed

by Joanne Doades

Overview

Raising a teenager is difficult; your Jewish values can help make it easier.

Relationships with teenage children can be maddening and frustrating. They undergo the most peculiar transition from children you think you know into mysterious adolescent strangers you often wish you didn't.

Drawing upon the teachings, insights, and wisdom that have sustained the Jewish people throughout the generations, this groundbreaking and invaluable guidebook will help you navigate the tumultuous journey of parenting a Jewish child into adulthood while asking—and answering—important questions, including:

• How is my Jewish teen’s life different from my life when I was a teen?
• How do I cope with the pain of separation as my child enters the teenage years?
• What are the causes of the conflict between me and my teen, and how can I help our family move through our most difficult moments?
• How must my own behavior change as my teen grows older?
• Is it possible to live with differences in Jewish belief and observance within the same family during my child’s teenage years?
• What are the unique challenges of parenting Jewish teens in special situations, such as an interfaith home; a special-needs teen; an adopted teen; or a teen who is engaged in risky or self-destructive behaviors?

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9781580233057
Publisher:	TURNER PUB CO
Publication date:	11/01/2006
Pages:	176
Product dimensions:	2.36(w) x 3.54(h) x 0.44(d)

About the Author

Joanne Doades, mother of three, is an award-winning Jewish educator who is a featured speaker at conferences, workshops and training programs on Jewish parenting and Jewish identity development topics. She is director for curriculum development for the Union for Reform Judaism's Department of Lifelong Jewish Learning.

Table of Contents

Acknowledgments
Preface

1. Introduction
2. Separation
3. Our Teenagers:American and Jewish
4. Dealing with Conflict
5. Family Relationships
6. Jewish Observance:Yours, Mine, and Ours
7. From Control to Consultation
8. Interdating and Intermarriage
9. Conclusion:The Blessing of Teens

Appendices
A: Special Situations
B: Situations That Require Intervention
C: Parenting Jewish Teens Program
Notes
Selected Bibliography

Editorial Reviews

"Eventually, we'll get past their daily tantrums, their exotic grooming, their messy bedrooms and the boy/girlfriends from hell, and watch our teens grow into responsible adulthood. But with Joanne Doades' wisdom, we'll do it with deeper understanding, deeper love and stronger connections. If you have a teen, you need this book."
—Rabbi Edward Feinstein, author, Tough Questions Jews Ask: A Young Adult’s Guide to Building a Jewish Life

"Very impressive ... well-written, informative, relevant to the issues faced by today’s parents, practical, and humorous. Will be … read and re-read by parents as they seek to understand not only the world of their teenagers, but their own feelings and thoughts. Highly recommended."
—Dr. Robert Brooks, Harvard Medical School; coauthor, Raising Resilient Children

"Excellent.... There is not another like it."
—Dr. Sol Gordon, professor emeritus, Syracuse University; author, Raising a Child Responsibly in a Sexually Permissive World

“Doades is the generous friend we parents all need. She’s been there, she’s survived and she knows how to share her hard-earned wisdom with gentle humor and respect—for us and for our teens.”
—Rabbi Nancy Fuchs-Kreimer, author, Parenting as a Spiritual Journey: Deepening Ordinary & Extraordinary Events into Sacred Occasions

“Gentle and persuasive guidance for all those who are raising teens.”
—Dr. Kerry M. Olitzky, coeditor, The Rituals & Practices of a Jewish Life: A Handbook for Personal Spiritual Renewal

“Combines [personal experience] plus a deep love for Judaism. Ultimately, if we want to raise a new generation of Jewish people, we have to help them get through their teenage years and come out whole at the other end. This book will help!”
—Shulamit Reinharz, coauthor, The JGirl’s Guide: The Young Jewish Woman’s Handbook for Coming of Age

From the Publisher

A good word for the disorientation many parents feel during their children's teenage years is "perplexed." In a twist on the title of Maimonides's 12th-century philosophical tome The Guide for the Perplexed, Doades offers a compassionate parenting manual that aims Judaism's messages at the "tumultuous, challenging and chaotic" teen years. "Parenting Jewish teens today is about finding something to hang onto (Judaism works) as you try to hang onto your kids (don't give up, no matter what they look, smell or act like)," she writes. Contemporary society, plagued by a decline in communal connectedness, compounds the hormonal upheaval by providing few consequences for behavior and popularizing a culture that denigrates authority, she says. Judaism's enduring values will not only serve them in good stead, providing tools to evaluate their choices, but will comfort and direct parents in maintaining dignity, sanity and family relationships. In a sympathetic parent-to-parent tone, Doades explores issues of separation, culture, conflict, family relationships, changing parental roles, interfaith dilemmas and special-needs situations, with examples from the Bible and Jewish literature. She urges parents to start Jewish teen parenting groups, and concludes that despite the normal teenage need for separation, parents must echo the Bible's message, Hineini, "Here I am." (Jan.) Copyright 2006 Reed Business Information.

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