Table of Contents
Author's Note ix
Chapter 1 The Private Jet 1
Chapter 2 "Hindsight Just Isn't What It Used to Be" 13
Chapter 3 "We're in Deep Shit" 23
Chapter 4 Into a Gunfight with a Box of Tissues 39
Chapter 5 "It's Like Being on eBay with Fifty Other States" 49
Chapter 6 "You Might Be Buying a Ferrari" 65
Chapter 7 Release the Billions 79
Chapter 8 Buccaneers and Pirates 91
Chapter 9 Airborne 103
Chapter 10 History Rhymes 119
Chapter 11 "Juanita Ramos Is Either a Stripper in Atlanta or a Native American Medicine Woman" 125
Chapter 12 How to Make Millions Selling Masks, in Three Easy Steps! 129
Chapter 13 "I'm Not Going to Take Any of This" 145
Chapter 14 "It Works as Hand Sanitizer, Tool" 155
Chapter 15 "Greg Abbott Cares About Greg Abbott" 171
Chapter 16 "What's Your Problem, Man?" 181
Chapter 17 Money for Nothing, Checks for Free 193
Chapter 18 Dazed and Confused 205
Chapter 19 Lucrative Lies 217
Chapter 20 Underlying Conditions 225
Chapter 21 "Capitalism, Baby" 229
Chapter 22 The Death Pits 239
Chapter 23 A Pirate Walks the Plank 249
Epilogue 257
Acknowledgments 263
Notes 265
Index 299